Itachi Goes To Hogwarts
by CelticCherokee
Summary: Dumbledore stumbles upon another universe. This results in thirteen year old Uchiha Itachi getting sent on a year-long mission at Hogwarts. Sasuke will visit too. The results? Read and find out. Maybe spoilers. PreUchiha Massacre. T for safty.
1. Chapter 1

**I will put some random Japanese words and superstitions at the bottom for your amusement. Itachi is thirteen, ANBU, has not killed his family yet, and loves his little brother to death (though he will deny it with everything he has, if asked).**

**Longest story I have had (so far).**

**Reviews keep stories going (really, if no-one cares enough to review, then why should authors continue posting?)**

**Flames are discouraged.**

**Enjoy!**

Itachi Goes To Hogwarts

"Aniki!" Itachi stopped in his tracks and closed his eyes with a sigh.

"Oh, for the love of-" He was cut off as Sasuke tackled him to the ground and sat on his chest.

"Aniki! Aniki! Guess what?" Squealed Sasuke, bouncing on the poor ANBU.

"What?" Itachi managed to squeak out through the pressure on his chest. Really, you'd think the boy would know better than to sit on an injured ninja, little or not little. It freaking hurts!

"... Ummm..." Sasuke stopped bouncing and scrunched up his face in concentration.

"Don't tell me you forgot."

"Okay. I won't." The raven-haired child smiled and got off Itachi, who sighed with relief and struggled to his feet. Itachi then picked up his bag walked towards his room, followed closely by his little brother. He set his bag on the bed and started digging through it before pulling out a brown paper bag he had gotten on the mission to Snow and handing it to his Otouto.

Sasuke grabbed it and sat on the bed. He peaked inside and then pulled out a stuffed wolf. It was white with yellow eyes and a pink tongue sticking out. Sasuke hugged it then hugged the life out of his Aniki, clearly forgetting his injury. Itachi winced, but didn't say anything. If Sasuke didn't know he had an injury, then he wouldn't tell their mother. If their mother didn't know, then Itachi was safe from her constant fussing. Besides, he could take care of it himself.

"Thank you, Aniki!"

"What will you name it?" Asked Itachi, taking off his mask.

"Ookami!" Sasuke held up the now dubbed 'Ookami' and looked at it with wide eyes, grinning ear to ear.

"Very... original..." Sasuke beamed at the young ANBU that was his brother, missing the obvious sarcasm. There was a knocking sound.

"Come in!" Rolling his eyes at his younger brother, who did not notice, the shinobi wondered what made the brat think he could invite people into _Itachi's _room. Itachi unconsciously had his hand hand hovering by his kunai pouch (you never could be too careful as a shinobi, or anyone else for that matter) while he watched door slid open quietly.

Mikoto and Fugaku walked into their son's room, deciding to see what Sasuke was squealing about, as Itachi had not let them know he was home. Sasuke immediately showed off Ookami. Laughing, Mikoto leaned over and 'pet' Ookami and welcomed him to the family while Fugaku gave Itachi glare number thirty-five, the 'That is too childish for an Uchiha,' glare.

Itachi got that glare a lot. But he ignored it as usual, noting that his mother's belly was much more swollen from pregnancy.

"Do you know the gender yet?" He asked when Mikoto and Sasuke were done with the stuffed animal. His parents still hadn't gone to the hospital to check the gender, even after eight months. Fugaku was old fashioned about it. He wanted it to be a surprise, but Mikoto had seemed to be warming him up to the idea, slowly. She wanted to get the baby's room set up before it was born.

"No. Your father is dead set on it being a surprise." She gave her husband an slightly irked look.

"Then its room will be...?"

"Yellow." She sounded slightly angry. "Not a very good color..."

"Why not red, or green? White perhaps?" Fugaku beamed at his son, thinking he was his father's side. That was, until Itachi continued, "Or go to the hospital while father is out? It would be more entertaining that way and you could decorate the room without telling him how you know the gender? Call it woman's intuition, as Hawk-san likes to claim she has."

"Uchiha Itachi! You listen here now-"

"It was a joke, Tou-san... There is such a thing as humor in this world. Though many Uchiha have it drained from the sticks up their stuck-up as-"

"Aniki!"

"-ses." Itachi finished, ignoring Sasuke. The younger boy gaped at him.

"Fine!" The head of the clan glared at his oldest (number six, 'Uchiha do not say such things'). "We'll go to the freaking hospital and learn the gender! If only to stop the insults that are sure to follow me if I don't!"

Mikoto beamed at both her husband and son. Itachi gave his father a cocky smirk and dug through his bag, which was on his futon. The other occupants of the room tried to see what he was doing, but failed as Itachi blocked the bag from view. Turning around, he handed his mother a pretty, white jacket with fur lining the neck and around the wrist area and small, white buttons to hold it together. There were pockets sew into the sleeves, perfect for hiding kunai. It was large enough for her to fit in comfortably in her current state.

"Thank you, Itachi." Mikoto said, smiling. "This will be very nice now that it's getting colder again."

She slipped it on.

"Very nice." She walked over to the mirror hanging on the wall, followed by Sasuke, who was trying to get her to tell him why all the girls he knew cared so much clothes as they 'Got destroyed during fights and training anyway.'

"Don't I get anything?" Fugaku asked, teasingly.

In a completely serious voice, Itachi told him;

"You are much too old for souvenirs, Tou-san." Sasuke pointed and laughed and his mother smirked. Fugaku looked offended and Itachi almost laughed as he handed his father a new white hunting knife.

"They do seem to like the color white, don't they?" Fugaku remarked, examining his new blade.

"Its still a mystery as to why, especially with all the snow everywhere. They seem to think white blends in with their surroundings. A bunch of crazies, I suppose." The older male glared at him. It was glare number twenty, the 'Don't you be smart with me young man' glare.

"Did you get anything for yourself?" Mikoto asked.

"No, but Inu-sempai and Neko-kun bought me a katana, despite me telling them not to get me anything. It would have been very rude to decline." Itachi tried hard not to blush. He knew that his parents did not like Kakashi and called him a thief.

Itachi knew Obito gave the Sharingan to Kakashi, to replace the eye he had lost earlier that day and often argued about it with his parents, but sometimes things were not meant to be brought up. While in front of Sasuke was never an exception to Itachi. The boy was much too young to be introduced to such matters. To Itachi's relief, Fugaku and Mikoto said nothing. They thanked him for the gifts and walked off, though.

Sasuke lay on the floor, playing with Ookami and humming a random tune. The ANBU laughed mentally. His brother took no notice. As Itachi was putting his things away in their respective places, there was a poof of smoke and Kakashi appeared, mask on and reading his perverted book.

"Yo."

"Inu-nii-chan!" Sasuke hugged the older ANBU's leg. "Look!"

Kakashi picked up the stuffed wolf that was held up to him.

"Aniki gave me a wolf! His name is Ookami!"

"That's... original..."

"That's what Aniki and Kaa-san said!" Sasuke squealed. He grabbed the stuffed animal from Kakashi and proceeded to play with it, grabbing one of his toys he had left in Itachi's room. Kakashi was probably annoyed when the animals started to 'climb' his leg and 'jump' on his head, but said nothing. After all, shinobi must hide their emotions, even if it is just from a comrade's younger brother.

"What have I told you about leaving those things in here?" Itachi mock-glared at his Otouto, picking up one of the toys laying on the floor. He tried not to wince as the motion pulled at his stitches. He was barley successful.

"Nothing!" Sasuke reached out to grab the stuffed toy, a black raven with blue eyes, but Itachi held it out of his reach.

"Nothing huh?" Itachi gave him a meaningful look. Sasuke 'eeped' and ran behind Kakashi, laughing.

"Uh... Anyway... I was sent to tell you that you have another mission." The older ANBU stated, feeling rather awkward. After all, he had been on the last mission with Itachi, and had patched up his wound and cleaned it out, though he hadn't been able to get out all the poison.

"Huh? But Aniki just got back and he's injured!" Itachi glared at the young Uchiha.

"So you _did_ notice I was injured. What was with jumping on me and trying to squeeze the life out of me then?"

"Uh... Inu-nii-chan?" Sasuke whispered to Kakashi.

"Huh?"

"Hide me." Too late for that, Itachi picked him up before Kakashi did anything though.

"Well, you know the punishment for purposely hurting family members." He said emotionlessly.

"Punishment." Sasuke squeaked, eyes wide.

"Yup. I have to take you to Hokage-sama so he can take you to jail."

"J-jail?"

"Uh-huh. Come on, Inu-sempai. I need a witness." Kakashi shook his head and walked out with them. Sometimes he wondered how he let himself get dragged into these things.

"N-no! Aniki! Don't take me to jail! I'll... I'll... I'll do your chores for a month!" Itachi paused in mid-step.

"A month, huh?"

"Uh-huh! A month!"

"Well... What do you think, Inu-sempai?"

"Hmmm... I think we should let him off... Just this once though." Kakashi said over his evil little, orange book.

"Thank you!" Laughing, Itachi put Sasuke down and poked him in the forehead. "_Owwww_!"

"I've got to see what my mission is. See you later, gaki."

"I'm not a gaki!" Itachi smirked before putting on his Weasel mask and poofing off with Kakashi.

"Stupid Aniki... Calling me a gaki and poofing away... And why does he always poke me so _hard_?" Sasuke grumbled, rubbing his head.

-::-

"Hokage-sama." Itachi and Kakashi said in unison, bowing.

"Thank you, Inu, even if you were late."

"Well, you see, there was this boy with a wolf and-"

"Right." The Hokage dragged on the word. "You are dismissed."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"There really was a boy and a wolf, you know." Itachi told Sarutobi after Kakashi had left. He noted the odd old man in the chair across from the Hokage. He was probably the client.

"Really? What do you mean."

"I got Sasuke-kun a stuffed wolf on my last mission and he wished to show his Inu-nii-chan." The Third chuckled.

"I'll have to tease Inu about that nick-name next time I see him. Anyway, I'm sorry for giving you another mission so soon after you're last one and injury. But I needed one of my strongest ANBU and you were perfect for the job."

"It is fine."

"Thank you. This is your client, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore. Albus Dumbledore for short. Where he comes from, family names come last."

"That is... odd."

"Yes it is, but we are not ones to judge others culture."

"I meant no offense." Itachi bowed in apology to the strange man. Albus Dumbledorewas wearing an odd sort of dress that was very colorful. There was a strange pointed hat that matched his dress. His eyes twinkled behind crescent-shaped glasses. His beard looked long enough to tuck into his belt. To top off the off appearance, he was holding a polished stick.

"I know, Weasel. Now, Dumbledore-san, this is Weasel. He is the shinobi I have decided to assign this mission to."

"How do you do, Weasel-san?" His accent was terrible.

"Fine, thank you. And you?"

"Very good, though my left earlobe seems to have a slight tickling feeling in it."

"Er... I'm sorry to hear that." If Itachi hadn't been a respectable ANBU captain, he would have sweatdropped.

"It's quite fine, thank you." Dumbledore seemed quite glad and twiddled his thumbs together.

"Uh, yes. Anyway, your mission is to guard Dumbledore-san's school, both students and teachers. His country is not on our maps, nor is ours on his maps. It is a place called England. The country of England resides in a place called Europe."

"Ee-ur-oop?"

"E-er-up."

"Europe?"

"Yes."

"And Engleed?"

"England."

"England."

"Right. He is the Headmaster of a school, called Hogwarts. It is a school for witches and wizards, who are quite similar to shinobi in terms of controlling chakra. Their chakra is somewhat different than ours, so you can not use their 'spells' and they cannot use our jutsu. They do not have enough magic, which is what they call their different chakra, to do jutsu. Even if they had enough, they wouldn't be able to use them because their magic is so different from chakra. We cannot use spells for the same reason, the only difference being we have _to much_chakra for the spells, not too little. Do you follow, Weasel?"

"Magic and chakra are similar in terms of keeping us alive and using for techniques. But they are different enough to stop us from using each others techniques."

"Very good. This mission will require you to stay in Europe for a year, food, boarding and anything else you may need will be taken care of by Dumbledore-san. If you wish, your brother will be able to visit every few weekends and on holidays. It would be cruel to separate you for a year without any physical contact, though you may send each other letters with the hawk I will be assigning you.

"Let's see... Ah, yes! One student in particular, Harry Potter, needs to be watched out for. He and his friends seem to attract danger. They are fifth year students. The main threat is by a man named Voldemort. His subordinates are called Death Eaters. Though we do not expect him to directly attack the school, it is better safe than sorry. This should help you recover from your recent injury.

"You will be required to learn English, the language of Europe, but only so you may talk to students and teachers. Dumbledore-san has agreed to speak out native tongue so you don't get too home sick." At this, Itachi turned to Dumbledore and bowed.

"Thank you for your kindness, Dumbledore-san. You do not have to do this if it makes you uncomfortable, however."

"It's quite all right. If I do say, I need some practice to help the rough accent. I find it an interesting language, very similar to Japanese, the native tongue of a country called Japan. Your culture is very similar to theirs, so I wonder if your ancestors had contact..." The old man seemed to ponder this. Smiling behind his mask and turning back to the Hokage, Itachi decided he liked this old man. He seemed to have a thing for learning. Very fitting for an owner of a school. Though he was still odd.

"Right. You can tell people where we come from, if they ask and if you trust them. This is a good opportunely to attract clients from this rather strange land. Better to do it now than to let someone like Stone or Cloud get to them..." Sarutobi muttered the last part to himself, though he knew the other two heard.

"If there's anything I'm forgetting that you need to know, just ask Dumbledore-san. Oh, yes! This is an Unranked mission, and you will be payed accordingly. Do you accept."

"Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Thank you. You may leave today. Get your things and meet us in fifteen minutes." Itachi poofed away.

-::-

"Aniki! Why did you accept?" Sasuke held onto Itachi's leg.

"It is my duty, Sasuke. Besides, it's not like we won't talk. Hokage-sama is assigning me a messenger hawk so we can talk and is letting you come and visit every few weekends and for their holidays." Itachi didn't even seem to notice the extra weight on his leg and walked about as usual.

"..." Sasuke settled for a pout and clung on as his brother walked about.

"Sasuke." Itachi peeled him off his leg and kneeled next to him. "It's not like I can take you with me. It could be dangerous and you would miss Kaa-san and Tou-san. Besides, I don't think Hokage-sama would appreciate losing one of the best Academy students he has."

"He doesn't have to know! I can hide in your bag and you can feed me pocky!"

"You would get very fat and weak if I were to let you do that."

"Not uh! I would be able to sneak out at night with you to train! Then I won't get fat _or_ weak!"

"You would still miss Kaa-san and Tou-san."

"They can come with us."

"They have their own missions and Tou-san has to take care of the family. As the head of the clan, that's his job."

"See? Their going to be busy! They won't even notice I'm gone!"

"They will be no more busy than they are now. Besides, what makes you think I'll let you eat all my pocky?" Itachi smiled as his Otouto huffed.

"... I can come every few weekends and on holidays?" Itachi laughed again and ruffled Sasuke's hair.

"Yes." He hugged his little brother, though it was not returned, poked his forehead, and stood up.

"Ow!"

"I'll see you later, Otouto. Train and get stronger, okay?"

"Okay..." Itachi smiled when Sasuke hugged him around the middle and stared crying. "I'll miss you!"

"I'll miss you too. I will be sure to bring you lot's of gifts to make up for it, seeing as Hokage-sama is giving me spending money. Now be sure to torment Tou-san until he shows you that technique, okay?" Sasuke saluted him, looking rather funny with the tears running down his face and some snot coming out his nose. Smiling, Itachi put his mask on, swung his bag over his shoulder, and saluted Sasuke before vanishing in a swirl of leaves.

-::-

Dumbledore and Itachi used an dirty old shoe to get to London. It wasn't exactly the way Itachi would have preferred to travel (it made him dizzy and the shoe smelt) but it was efficient. Now Itachi was on a train, the Hogwarts Express ("The school has it's own train?"), as requested by Dumbledore. Itachi had seen a train before (on his last mission to Snow in fact.) but had never been inside one. It was actually very comfortable.

He mastered English (thank you Sharingan) before the train came to a stop at 'King's Cross' in about six hours after he had gotten on, and now Itachi was ready to see who it was besides the teachers he was guarding.

As the train stopped, Itachi looked up from his book, _Hogwarts A History_. None of the students were not wearing the uniform described and there were adults with them (and a big, black dog with one group). Making sure his mask was tightly in place, Itachilooked back at his book. He did not have to wait long before an odd girl reading a magazine upside-down walked in. She stared at him a moment before sitting across from him. She stared at him from above her magazine for the next several minutes. The blonde girl away when she heard a girl though;

"Hi, Luna. Is it okay if we take these seats?" The newly dubbed Luna nodded after looking over the newcomers.

"Thanks." There were three newcomers. One was the Harry Potter boy, whom Itachi had gotten a picture of, then there was a strange boy carrying a toad. It was a rather odd coincidence that his special charge met him (Itachi rather had hoped to not meet him, the description of his attitude seemed much like a spoiled brat's and Itachi did not like that). Finally, there was the red-headed girl that had asked Luna for permission to sit. Vaguely, though it didn't really bother him, Itachi wondered why the Luna girl hadn't asked permission to sit with him. Luna watched as the boys stowed their and the girl's trunks and owl in the luggage rack and then sit down.

"Have a good summer Luna?" Asked the red-haired girl, after giving Itachi an odd look, as did her companions.

"Yes," Said Luna with a dreamy voice, her eyes still on the Potter boy. "Yes, it was quite enjoyable, you know. _You're_ Harry Potter."

"I know I am." Itachi mentally snorted, the boy with the toad chuckled. Luna turned her attention on him.

"And I don't know who you are."

"I'm nobody." The boy said hurriedly. Itachi frowned behind his mask. The girl seemed nice enough, despite her odd appearance. Though he couldn't really say that. He thought they all looked rather odd. Why couldn't these people where something normal, like some yukata or maybe some kimono? Robes were weird. And so was the clothes they wore under their robes.

"No you're not." Said the red-head sharply. "Neville Longbottom- Luna Lovegood." Itachi had to remember that first names come first here. Not that the shinobi cared. He would still call them by their surnames. "Luna's in my year, but in Ravenclaw."

"Wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure." Recited Lovegood in a singsong voice.

_Wasn't that in this book? The Ravenclaw motto or something like that..._

The young ANBU referred to the book that was currently resting open in his lap... Then got interested in the other things it talked about. Itachi mostly ignored the others form then on, paying attention to only the important bits that gave him a little more info on his new station for the next year.

The train rattled onwards, speeding them out into open country. It was an odd, unsettled sort of day; one moment the carriage was full of sunlight and the next they were passing beneath ominously gray clouds. The quiet was broken when Itachi flipped the page, and the others jumped. Apparently, they thought he had been asleep. It took a couple of minutes of staring at him before they relaxed.

The boy, Longbottom, dumped a toad in Potter's lap and took out a quill. Holding it up to his face, tongue between his teeth, Longbottom found a spot on the plant and gave it a sharp jab with the quill. Liquid squirted from every boil on the plant; thick, stinking, dark green jets of it. They hit the ceiling, the windows, and spattered Lovegood's magazine; The unnamed redhead, who had flung her arms up in front of her face just in time, merely looked as though she was wearing a slimy green hat, but Potter, whose hands had been busy preventing the toad's escape, received a faceful. Itachi was thankful for his ANBU mask. It the stuff smelled like rancid manure. Carefully, in case it was poisonous, Itachi wiped the gunk of his poor mask and flicked it away.

_Gross..._ He thought, then frowned. _How long it will it take to get this stuff out of my clothes?_

Not that he cared... but it was annoying. His book was ruined as well. This was a bad way to begin the mission, getting covered in gunk. But it wasn't like he could have dodged it. There was no need to let the students know what he was capable of. Any one of them could be the enemy or be interrogated by the enemy. All ninja learned that early on.

Longbottom, whose face and torso were also drenched, shook his head to get the worst out of his eyes.

"S - sorry," he gasped. "I haven't tried that before… didn't realize it would be quite so… don't worry, though, Stinksap's not poisonous," he added nervously, as Potter spat a mouthful on to the floor.

At that precise moment the door of their compartment slid open.

"Oh… hello, Harry," said a nervous voice. "Um… bad time?"

Potter wiped the lenses of his glasses with his toad-free hand. A pretty girl with long, shiny black hair was standing in the doorway smiling at him.

"Oh… hi."

"Um…" said the girl. "Well… just thought I'd say hello… bye then."

Rather pink in the face, she closed the door and departed. Potter slumped back in his seat and groaned.

"Never mind," said the red-head bracingly. "Look, we can easily get rid of all this." She pulled out her wand. "_Scourgify_!"

The Stinksap vanished. Itachi looked at his clothes and book interestingly. Not a drop remained. Wonderful. He turned his attention back to _Hogwarts; A History_. He continued to read about how electronics didn't work on the grounds and why. It was interesting stuff.

Two more students turned up for nearly an hour later, by which time the food trolley had already gone by. Potter, Ginny Weasley (Itachi had finally learned her name) and Longbottom had finished their pumpkin pasties and were busy swapping Chocolate Frog Cards when the compartment door slid open and they walked in, accompanied by a cat and a shrilly hooting owl in its cage.

"I'm starving," said the boy who seemed to be Ginny's brother, Ronald, stowing his owl next to Harry's, grabbing a Chocolate Frog from Potter and throwing himself into the seat next to him. It was quite crowded now. He

ripped open the wrapper, bit off the frog's head and leaned back with his eyes closed as though he had had a very exhausting morning.

"Well, there are two fifth-year prefects from each house," said the bushy-haired girl, Hermione Granger, looking thoroughly disgruntled as she took her seat. "Boy and girl from each."

"And guess who's a Slytherin prefect?" said Ronald, still with his eyes closed.

"Malfoy," replied Potter at once.

"Course," said Ronald bitterly, stuffing the rest of the Frog into his mouth and taking another.

"And that complete _cow, _Pansy Parkinson," said Granger viciously. Itachi felt people were very rude here. He was glad neither of the new people seemed to notice him yet. "How she got to be a prefect when she's thicker than a concussed troll…"

"Who are Hufflepuff's?" Potter asked.

"Ernie Macmillan and Hannah Abbott," said Ronald thickly.

"And Anthony Goldstein and Padma Patil for Ravenclaw," said Granger.

"You went to the Yule Ball with Padma Patil," said a vague voice.

Everyone turned to look at Lovegood, who was gazing unblinkingly at Ronald over the top of The _Quibbler_. He swallowed his mouthful of Frog.

"Yeah, I know I did," he said, looking mildly surprised.

"She didn't enjoy it very much," Lovegood informed him. "She doesn't think you treated her very well, because you wouldn't dance with her. I don't think I'd have minded," she added thoughtfully, "I don't like dancing very much."

She retreated behind The _Quibbler_ again. Ronald stared at the cover with his mouth hanging open for a few seconds, then looked around at Ginny for some kind of explanation, but Ginny had stuffed her knuckles in her mouth to stop herself giggling. Ron shook his head, bemused, then checked his watch.

"We're supposed to patrol the corridors every so often," He told Potter and Longbottom, "and we can give out punishments if people are misbehaving. I can't wait to get Crabbe and Goyle for something"

"You're not supposed to abuse your position, Ron!" Said Granger sharply.

"Yeah, right, because Malfoy won't abuse it at all," said Ronald sarcastically. Itachi almost remarked on that but Granger beat him to it.

"So you're going to descend to his level?"

_'I suppose it is better that way.' _Itachi thought, '_At least they don't notice me this way...'_

"No, I'm just going to make sure I get his mates before he gets mine."

"For heaven's sake, Ron -"

"I'll make Goyle do lines, it'll kill him, he hates writing," said Ronald happily. He lowered his voice to a low grunt and, screwing up his face in a look of pained concentration, mimed writing in midair. "_I… must… not… look…like… a… baboon's… backside_."

Everyone laughed (except our favorite shinobi of course), but nobody laughed harder than Luna Lovegood. She let out a scream of mirth that caused Potter's owl to wake up and flap her wings indignantly and the cat to leap up into the luggage rack, hissing. Lovegood laughed so hard her magazine slipped out of her grasp, slid down her legs and on to the floor.

"That was _funny_!"

Her prominent eyes swam with tears as she gasped for breath, staring at Ronald. Utterly nonplussed, he looked around at the others, who were now laughing at the expression on his face and at the ludicrously prolonged laughter of Lovegood, who was rocking backwards and forwards, clutching her sides.

"Are you taking the mickey?" said Ronald, frowning at her.

"Baboon's… backside!" she choked, holding her ribs.

Everyone else was watching Lovegood laughing, but Potter, glancing at the magazine on the floor, noticed something that made him dive for it. Upside-down it had been hard to tell what the picture on the front was, but Itachi noticed it was a fairly bad cartoon of a man. One of his hands was clenched around a bag of gold; the other hand was throttling a goblin. The cartoon was captioned: How _Far Will Fudge Go to Gain Gringotts_?

Beneath this were listed the titles of other articles inside the magazine.

_Corruption in the Quidditch League:_

_How the Tornados are Taking Control_

_Secrets of the Ancient Runes Revealed_

_Sirius Black: Villain or Victim?_

"Can I have a look at this?" Potter asked Lovegood eagerly.

She nodded, still gazing at Ronald, breathless with laughter.

Potter opened the magazine and scanned the index. He found the page he seemed to have been looking for, and turned excitedly to the article. Itachi glanced next to him to read it as well, once again glad for his weasel mask.

This page, too, was illustrated by another rather bad cartoon. The cartoon man was standing on a pile of human bones with his stick (_'Wand,' _Itachicorrected himself mentally.) out. The headline on the article said:

SIRIUS - BLACK AS HE'S PAINTED?

_Notorious mass murderer or innocent singing sensation_...

It continued talking about some odd lady who seemed to think Sirius was an alibi. Potter finished reading and stared at the page in disbelief. Itachi almost laughed. Almost. He had met the man, Sirius Black. While he hadn't committed the crimes, he was no singing sensation. Potter flipped the page.

_Cornelius Fudge, the Minister for Magic, denied that he had any plans to take over the running of the Wizarding Bank, Gringotts, when he was elected Minister for Magic five years ago. Fudge has always insisted that he wants nothing more than to 'co-operate peacefully' with the guardians of our gold..._

Neither Potter nor Itachi read any further. According to Dumbledore, Fudge some faults but Itachi found it extremely hard to imagine him ordering creatures who ran a bank to be cooked in pies. Potter continued flicking through the rest of the magazine. Pausing every few pages, he read: an accusation that the Tutshill Tornados were winning the Quidditch League by a combination of blackmail, illegal broom-tampering and torture; an interview with a wizard who claimed to have flown to the moon on a Cleansweep Six and brought back a bag of moon frogs to prove it; and an article on ancient runes which at least explained why Lovegood had been reading The _Quibbler_ upside-down. According to the magazine, if you turned the runes on their heads they revealed a spell to make your enemy's ears turn into kumquats. In fact, compared to the rest of the articles in The _Quibbler_, the suggestion that Sirius might really be the lead singer of The Hobgoblins was quite sensible.

"Anything good in there?" asked Ronald as Potter closed the magazine.

"Of course not," said Granger scathingly, before Potter could answer. "The _Quibbler's_ rubbish, everyone knows that."

"Excuse me," said Lovegood; her voice had suddenly lost its dreamy quality. "My father's the editor."

"I - oh," said Granger, looking embarrassed. "Well… it's got some interesting… I mean, it's quite…"

"I'll have it back, thank you," said Lovegood coldly, and leaning forwards she snatched it out of Potter's hands. Riffling through it to page fifty-seven, she turned it resolutely upside-down again and disappeared behind it, just as the compartment door opened for the third time.

Itachi looked around. The sight of a blond boy with green robes smirking at Potter from between two other rather large boys met him.

"What?" Potter said aggressively, before the boy could open his mouth.

"Manners, Potter, or I'll have to give you a detention," drawled blondy. "You see, I, unlike you, have been made a prefect, which means that I, unlike you, have the power to hand out punishments." This boy seemed rather rude and apparently had a grudge on Harry Potter. The ANBU made a note to keep an eye on him.

"Yeah," said Potter, "but you, unlike me,-are a git, so get out and leave us alone."

Itachi nearly snorted. What kind of a comeback was that?

Ronald, Granger, Ginny and Longbottom laughed. Blondy's lip curled.

"Tell me, how does it feel being second-best to Wesley, Potter?" He asked.

"Shut up, Malfoy," said Granger sharply.

"I seem to have touched a nerve," said the newly-dubber Malfoy, smirking. "Well, just watch yourself, Potter, because I'll be _dogging_ your footsteps in case you step out of line."

"Get out!" said Granger, standing up.

"That is enough!" Said Itachi, standing up. He became very aware that these people were both older and taller than him. Thank Kami the mask made his voice sound like an adult's. The boy sneered at him.

"And who would you be?"

"I am Weasel." He ignored the sound Ronald made. "Official guard of Hogwarts for the year. I am to remove all threats from the grounds by any means necessary. Who are you?"

"Draco Malfoy. I'm sure you've heard of my father, Lucius Malfoy?"

"No, I have never heard of him." Malfoy looked shocked. Apparently, his father must be well know. The teens around Itachi snickered.

"Then again... I am not from Europe." With this information, the boy decided to play polite and get Itachi on his side.

"Well then. I welcome you to Europe. Perhaps I should introduce you to my father some day? He is always interested in meeting new people. Are you well-know in your country?"

Malfoy wasn't exactly stealthy about this, was he? It was obvious he only wanted to get on Itachi's good side so he could worm his way to the leaders of Itachi's country.

"I'm one of the elite in my country. Many people know me." It wasn't exactly a lie. He was ANBU and many people would like to gauge out his eyes and hand his head to their leaders on a silver platter.

"My father is quite well-know here as well. If you ever need to know anything about Europe, feel free to come to me for help." Malfoy held out his hand. With that said and done, Itachi couldn't refuse an information source, no matter how ignorant or annoying. Ignoring the outstretched hand, Itachi bowed.

"It is a pleasure to meet you. Help is always welcome." He looked up at Malfoy, who had his mouth open in shock. Feigning ignorance (he knew people shook hands instead of bowing) Itachi straightened. "Do you not bow in this country? Why is your hand out like this?"

"I... uh... We tend to shake hands in Europe."

"Oh." Itachi grabbed Malfoy's hand and shook it. Hard. "I suppose I will see you later."

"Yeah... Later." Malfoy and his cronies walked out, Malfoy rubbing his sore hand. Itachi made sure to put all the strength he could into the handshake without actually breaking it. Smiling behind his mask, Itachi closed the door and turned to everyone.

"He is what you would call a buttsucker, yes?"

"You mean buttkisser?" Asked Ronald.

"Yes, that is the one. I am not one to fall for such childish things. I do not give a crap who his father is." His slight accent made it sound funny and the teens in the compartment laughed.

'_Success.' _Itachi thought. He had earned their respect, even if it was a little.

The weather remained undecided as they traveled further and further north. Rain spattered the windows in a half-hearted way, then the sun put in a feeble appearance before clouds drifted over it once more. When darkness fell and lamps came on inside the carriages, Lovegood rolled up _The Quibbler_, put it carefully away in her bag and took to staring at everyone in the compartment instead.

Potter was sitting with his forehead pressed against the train window, trying to get a first distant glimpse of Hogwarts, but it was a moonless night and the rain-streaked window was grimy.

"We'd better change," said Granger at last, and all of them opened their trunks with difficulty and pulled on their school robes. She and Ronld pinned some badges carefully to their chests. Itachi saw Ronald checking his reflection in the black window.

At last, the train began to slow down and they heard the racket up and down it as everybody scrambled to get their luggage and pets assembled, ready to get off. Ronald and Granger disappeared from the carriage, leaving Potter and the others to look after the cat and Ronald's owl.

"I'll carry that owl, if you like," said Lovegood to Potter before Itachi could, reaching out for Pigwidgeon as Longbottom stowed his toad in an inside pocket.

"Oh - er - thanks," said Potter, handing her the cage and hoisting his owl's cage more securely into his arms.

They shuffled out of the compartment, Itachi going last, feeling the first sting of the night air on their faces as they joined the crowd in the corridor. Itachi stepped down on to the platform and looked around. Some female was calling out, "First-years line up over here, please! All first-years to me!'

A lantern came swinging towards the group and by its light Itachi saw the prominent chin and severe haircut of Professor Grubbly-Plank, the witch who had given him a tour of the castle.

"Where's Hagrid?" Potter asked. Itachi did not recall hearing about a Hagrid and dismissed it.

"I don't know," said Ginny, "But we'd better get out of the way, we're blocking the door."

"Oh, yeah…"

Potter and Ginny became separated as they moved off along the platform and out through the station.

Harry Potter looked around for Ronald or Granger. Itachi made sure to keep near him, this boy was supposed to get special attention, and he was at most danger before they entered the grounds.

Here stood a hundred or so stagecoaches that always took the students above first year up to the castle. Itachi studied the odd creatures that pulled the carriages. The creatures were standing between the carriage shafts. If he had to give them a name, he supposed he would have called them horses, though there was something reptilian about them too. They were completely fleshless, their black coats clinging to their skeletons, of which every bone was visible. Their heads were dragonish, and their pupil-less eyes white and staring. Wings sprouted from each wither - huge, black leathery wings that looked as though they ought to belong to giant bats.

"Where's Pig?" said Ronald's voice, right behind Potter.

"That Luna girl was carrying him," said Potter, turning quickly. "Where d'you reckon -"

"- Hagrid is? I dunno," said Ronald, sounding worried. "He'd better be OK…"

If there was more, Itachi didn't here it as he tuned them out and walked up to the horse-lizard. He let it sniff his hand before petting it. It's coat was surprisingly soft.

A short distance away, Draco Malfoy, followed by a small gang of cronies was pushing some timid-looking second-years out of the way so that he and his friends could get a coach to themselves. Itachi narrowed his eyes at the boy. Seconds later, Granger emerged panting from the crowd. Itachi tuned back in to the conversation.

"Malfoy was being absolutely foul to a first-year back there. I swear I'm going to report him, he's only had his badge three minutes and he's using it to bully people worse than ever… where's Crookshanks?"

"Ginny's got him," said Potter. "There she is…"

Ginny had just emerged from the crowd, clutching the squirming orange cat from the carriage.

"Thanks," said Granger, relieving Ginny of Crookshanks. "Come on, let's get a carriage together before they all fill up…"

"I haven't got Pig yet!" Ronald said, but Granger was already heading off towards the nearest unoccupied coach. Itachi remained behind with Potter and Ronald. He continued to pet the strange creature, who seemed to enjoy it.

"What _are _those things, d'you reckon?" He heard the Potter boy ask Ronald.

"What thin- Oi, Weasel! What are you-" He paused and gaped at the ANBU when he pulled himself onto the horse. "Blimey! You can fly, Weasel?"

""I cannot." Itachi said. "I let it sniff me and pulled myself up."

"Let what sniff you?"

"This odd creature." Itachi said, motioning to the horse-lizard. He then snickered quietly to himself as he continued to pet the creature.

"What creature?"

"There is a creature here. I can see it, as can Potter-san and Lovegood-san, it seems." The Hogwarts students turned to Lovegood, who looked up.

"I can see them."

"Can you?" said Potter desperately, turning to her. Ronald watched her, obviously doubting her sanity.

"Oh, yes," said Lovegood, "I've been able to see them ever since my first day here. They've always pulled the carriages. Don't worry. You're just as sane as I am."

Smiling faintly, she climbed into the musty interior of the carriage. Obviously not reassured, Potter followed her along with Ronald. Itachi stayed where he was as the horse-lizards started moving. Lovegood stuck her head out of the carriage, ignoring the odd looks the other occupants gave her.

"You have a Beezlegore on your head, by the way. It's just above your left ear." Then she pulled her head back in. Once he thought no-one was looking, Itachi felt the side of his head. He pulled off an odd creature. It was invisible to him, but he could defiantly feel it. He also felt its teeth sink themselves into his hand.

"Stupid magical creatures..." He mumbled, trying to shake it off. Seeing as nothing worked, Itachi lifted his mask slightly and bit it back. There was a faint screech from the Beezlegore and the pressure lifted from his hand.

-::-

Did you like it? Please tell, for without reviews, there is no good reason to continue a story!

-::-

**Japanese Randomness For Bored People**

_-Colors_

Yellow- _Kiiro_

Blue- _Aoi_

Black- _Kuroi_

Green- _Midoriiro no; Guriino_

Gray [Of a color]- _Haiiro no (gray eyes- Haiiro no me); Guree no; Nezumi iro no (a gray coat- Guree [nezumi iro] no kooto);_

[Of hair]- _Shiraga (majiri) no; Haiiro; Nezumi iro_

White [As opposed to black]- _Shiroi; _

[Of hair]- _Shiraga no_

[Pale]- _Aojiroi_

Red- _Akai; Aka_

Violet- _Mirisaki_

Brown- _Chairo no; Kasshoku no_

Amber- _Kohaku_

Ebony- _Kokutan_

_-_Superstition (_Meeshin)-_

**The number four-**

The number four is rather inauspicious as it is pronounced the same way as death (_shi_). Do not give presents of four pieces, etc. In many hotels and hospitals, the room number four is skipped.

**The number nine-**

Can sometimes be pronounced as _ku, _which means suffering.

**Hospital Rooms-**

Room number fourty-two (_shini)_ is avoided because it means 'to die'

Room number fourty-three (_shizan) _is usually avoided because it can literally mean 'still birth'

Room number twenty-four (_nishi)_ means 'double death' and is also given wide berth

**Play with fire-**

If you play with fire, you will wet the bed

**Sticking chopsticks into the rice-**

It's rude to stick your chopsticks into your food anyway, but especially so into rice. This is because at funerals the chopsticks are stuck into the rice and put onto the alter.

**Giving food, chopstick to chopstick-**

Bones of cremated bodies put into the urn like this at funerals.

**First Dream of the new year-**

This dream will come true

**Sleeping while facing north-**

Bodies are laid towards the north.

**Funeral Car Passing-**

When they pass, hide your thumb in a fist. Unless you hate your parents.

**Tatami border-**

Stepping on the cloth border brings bad luck

**Lie down after eating-**

Do this only if you wish to become a cow.

**Crow-**

If you catch a crow's eyes, something bad will happen.

**Whistle or play the flute in the night-**

If you do this, a snake will come to you.

**Salt Throwing-**

When coming from a funeral, throw salt over yourself before entering your home. This will cleanse you.

**Fingernail/Toenail cutting at night-**

If you do this, you will not be with your parents at their deathbeds.

**Red Ink-**

Never write a person's name in red ink.

**Lucky Cat-**

Use of the _Maneki Neko _in businessesbring in money and fortune.

**Spider-**

Spiders in the morning are good luck, don't kill them. Spiders at night are bad luck, you can kill them.

**Chopstick Types-**

Chopsticks made from different woods are lucky in different ways. Pine chopsticks are good for general luck. For finances, go for chestnut wood. Cypress is for hope.

**Badgers-**

Are evil because they where masks over their eyes to hide themselves and play tricks on people.

**Cats-**

Are the temporary resting place of the spiritually aware people.

I suppose that will be all. Read and review, suggest new things for the next chapter's randomness, and all will be good with the world. ^.^

_Ja ne._


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two is here!

Wow, 99 hits and 7 reviews... That's kinda sad... But I appreciate those who did review!

Thank you **Sinister-Sisters** for your review! I'll look into spicing it up a bit and increasing tension between Harry and Itachi. Please bear with me as I'm trying to work on my writing skills.

Thanks also to **actionliker** for your review.

**epitome of impressed** your review has got to be the funniest one I have ever gotten! Thank you! I take no offense to the paper shredder at all.

**Hunter 152** thanks for your review too! I'm very glad the extra random stuff at the bottom amuses you. ^.^

**xXxJaycee81196xXx** your the first person to point that out. Yup, I did have this up once, but decided to change things a bit. Thanks for reviewing!

**Flower Kid is a Leprechaun** thanks for the review. I plan on continuing this story as long as my brain keeps working.

What do you people think of Voldemort hiring someone from Akatsuki? Or just random shinobi? Or even trying to hire Itachi from Dumbledore (not that Itachi would (or would he? *plays scary piano music and jumps at the lightning outside*))

Suggestions are welcome, flames are ignored (unless I'm cooking something ^.^) and constructive criticism is welcomed.

**Disclaimer below is for first chapter as well, cause' I forgot it...**

_Disclaimer; I don't own Naruto or Harry Potter. If I did, I probably wouldn't be writing fanfics..._

_-::-_

Rattling and swaying, the carriages moved in convoy up the road. When they passed between the tall stone pillars topped with winged boars on either side of the gates to the school grounds, Itachi perked his head up to see the somewhat familiar form of Hogwarts Castle with its towering mass of turrets, jet black against the dark sky.

The horse-lizards stopped near the stone steps leading up to the oak front doors and Itachi climbed off the one he was riding on. Bowing, he activated his Sharingan. These creatures were not something he ever wanted to forget. Perhaps there was a plushy of them in a store in the town nearby? Sasuke would find them fascinating. If not, Itachi supposed, he would draw a picture of one and ask Kaa-san to make one.

The Entrance Hall was ablaze with torches and echoing with footsteps of students as they crossed the flagged stone floor for the doors to the right, leading to the Great Hall and the start-of-term feast.

The four long house tables in the Great Hall were filling up under the starless black ceiling, a genjutsu which was just like the sky they could glimpse through the high windows. Though Dumbledore had called it something else. Illusion was the term he used wasn't it? Candles floated in midair all along the tables, illuminating the silvery ghosts who creeped Itachi out as they floated around the Hall. Itachi noticed people putting their heads together to whisper as the Potter child passed. Said boy gritted his teeth and tried to act as though he neither noticed nor cared.

Luna drifted away from them at the Ravenclaw table. The moment they reached Gryffindors, Ginny was hailed by some fellow fourth-years and left to sit with them; Harry, Ron, Hermione and Neville found seats together about halfway down the table between Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor house ghost, and Parvati Patil and Lavender Brown, the last two of whom gave Harry airy, overly-friendly greetings. Itachi walked past them and to his place next to McGonagall's. An odd, toad-like, pink wearing creature that slightly resembled a human (Did they let animals teach? There was a ghost, Itachi knew.) watched him as he sat. McGonagall was carrying a stool with a very old hat on it.

The loud talk in the Great Hall faded away. The first-years lined up in front of the staff table facing the rest of the students, and McGonagall placed the stool carefully in front of them, then stood back. Itachi looked on in interest. Was this some sort of test that sorted the students into their houses?

The first-years' faces glowed palely in the candlelight. A small boy right in the middle of the row looked as though he was trembling. The whole school waited with bated breath. Then the rip near the hat's brim opened wide like a mouth and the hat burst into song:

_In times of old when I was new_

_And Hogwarts barely started_

_The founders of our noble school_

_Thought never to be parted: United by a common goal,_

_They had the selfsame yearning,_

_To make the world's best magic school_

_And pass along their learning._

_'Together we will build and teach!'_

_The four good friends decided_

_And never did they dream that they_

_Might some day be divided,_

_For were there such friends anywhere_

_As Slytherin and Gryffindor?_

_Unless it was the second pair_

_Of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw?_

_So how could it have gone so wrong?_

_How could such friendships fail?_

_Why, I was there and so can tell_

_The whole sad, sorry tale._

_Said Slytherin, 'We'll teach just those_

_Whose ancestry is purest.'_

_Said Ravenclaw, 'We'll teach those whose_

_Intelligence is surest.'_

_Said Gryffindor, 'We'll teach all those_

_With brave deeds to their name,'_

_Said Hufflepuff, Til teach the lot,_

_And treat them just the same.'_

_These differences caused little strife_

_When first they came to light,_

_For each of the four founders had_

_A house in which they might_

_Take only those they wanted, so,_

_For instance, Slytherin_

_Took only pure-blood wizards_

_Of great cunning, just like him,_

_And only those of sharpest mind_

_Were taught by Ravenclaw_

_While the bravest and the boldest_

_Went to daring Gryffindor._

_Good Hufflepuff, she took the rest,_

_And taught them all she knew,_

_Thus the houses and their founders_

_Retained friendships firm and true._

_So Hogwarts worked in harmony_

_For several happy years,_

_But then discord crept among us_

_Feeding on our faults and fears._

_The houses that, like pillars four,_

_Had once held up our school,_

_Now turned upon each other and,_

_Divided, sought to rule._

_And for a while it seemed the school_

_Must meet an early end,_

_What with dueling and with jighting_

_And the clash of friend on friend_

_And at last there came a morning_

_When old Slytherin departed_

_And though the fighting then died out_

_He left us quite downhearted._

_And never since the founders four_

_Were whittled down to three_

_Have the houses been united_

_As they once were meant to be._

_And now the Sorting Hat is here_

_And you all know the score:_

_I sort you into houses_

_Because that is what I'm for,_

_But this year I'll go further,_

_Listen closely to my song:_

_Though condemned I am to split you_

_Still I worry that it's wrong,_

_Though / must fulfill my duty_

_And must quarter every year_

_Still I wonder whether Sorting_

_May not bring the end I fear._

_Oh, know the perils, read the signs,_

_The warning history shows,_

_For our Hogwarts is in danger_

_From external, deadly foes_

_And we must unite inside her_

_Or we'll crumble from within_

_I have told you, I have warned you…_

_Let the Sorting now begin._

The Hat became motionless once more; applause broke out, though it was punctured with muttering and whispers. All across the Great Hall students were exchanging remarks with their neighbors. Itachi raised an eyebrow under the porcelain weasel that hid his face. McGonagall gave the whisperers a glare and soon it was silent again.

"Abercrombie, Euan."

A terrified looking boy stumbled forwards and put the Hat on his head; it was only prevented from falling right down to his shoulders by his very prominent ears. The Hat considered for a moment, then the rip near the brim opened again and shouted:

_"Gryffindor!"_

The Gryffindor house clapped looudly as Euan Abercrombie staggered to their table and sat down, looking as though he would like very much to sink through the floor and never be looked at again.

Slowly, the line of first-years shortened. Finally, "Zeller, Rose" was Sorted into Hufflepuff, and Professor McGonagall picked up the Hat and stool and marched them away as Professor Dumbledore rose to his feet.

But this, at least, was how it was supposed to be: their Headmaster rising to greet them all before the start-of-term feast.

"To our newcomers," said Dumbledore in a ringing voice, his arms stretched wide and a beaming smile on his lips, "Welcome! To our old hands - welcome back! There is a time for speech-making, but this is not it. Tuck in!"

There was an appreciative laugh and an outbreak of applause as Dumbledore sat down neatly and threw his long beard over his shoulder so as to keep it out of the way of his plate - for food had appeared out of nowhere, so that the five long tables were groaning under joints and pies and dishes of vegetables, bread and sauces and flagons of pumpkin juice. Itachi was delighted to find Dumbledore had gone to the trouble of finding some of his native food. Miso, sushi, rice, ramen, and many other familiar dishes greeted him. Looking at Dumbledore, Itachi gave him a seated bow, clasping his hands together and leaning forward slightly. Dumbledore smiled and returned the bow. To top off the native food, Dumbledore had even included chopsticks along with the regular utensils. Itachi grinned, glad no one could see his face behind the mask as shinobi were not supposed to have emotions.

"Itadakimasu." He said, picking up his chopsticks. McGonagall sat next to him, picking up the chopsticks next to her own plate.

"This is interesting. What do you call it?" Asked McGonagall, pouring one of the dishes into her bowl after he showed her the correct way to eat with chopsticks.

"Zosui. It is very good. Ah!" Itachi picked out some pocky from a plate. "It is a wonder that Dumbledore-san knows my favorite... I wonder if Hokage-sama told him about it..." The ANBU muttered the last part to himself.

"That looks like chocolate on the stick there." Remarked McGonagall. Itachi smiled.

"It is. This is pocky, human-kind's greatest invention." This caused her to chuckle as she ate her Zosui. Itachi got some Kushikatsu to eat before his pocky. He also grabbed some dango, knowing full well that if Kaa-san was here, she would scold him for eating too many sweets. Not that Itachi would have listened anyway. All it was half a second before every bit of food on his plate was gone and being digested. No one even saw his mask leave his face. Sighing contently, Itachi put his hands behind his head and leaned back. McGonagall stared at him, chopsticks halfway to her mouth, which was open.

"You know, McGonagall-san, that looks very odd sitting there with your mouth wide open." Itachi teased, chuckling.

"H-how did you do that?"

"Do what?" He asked, making sure to put enough false innocence in his voice so even the biggest baka would detect it.

"You know what!"

"Ah, that. It is a trick my friend, Inu, I believe you would call him Dog in English, taught me. He always where's a mask, I have no clue as to what his face looks like without it. He developed this trick when he was four. It is very handy when on a mission."

"Do you go on missions often?"

"I had returned from a mission with a small injury the day I accepted this mission. I left the same day. My _Otouto_ was not happy with me..."

"Your... Ot... Otou... Otouto? Is that correct?"

"That is correct. In English I believe you would say... little brother?"

"You have a brother? What's his name?"

"Yes. His name is Sasuke. He is six. He is also training to be a shinobi." Itachi was practically radiating pride. McGonagall smiled.

"Has he has been learning long?"

"Otouto started training this year. Three months ago, in fact. Sasuke-kun is always begging for me to train with him." McGonagall smiled at him. They both turned their attention to Dumbledore, who had stood up.

Talking ceased immediately as all turned to listen to the Headmaster.

"Well, now that we are all digesting another magnificent feast, I beg a few moments of your attention for the usual start-of-term notices," said Dumbledore. "First-years ought to know that the Forest in the grounds is out-of-bounds to students - and a few of our older students ought to know by now, too. Mr. Filch, the caretaker, has asked me, for what he tells me is the four-hundred-and-sixty-second time, to remind you all that magic is not permitted in corridors between classes, nor are a number of other things, all of which can be checked on the extensive list now fastened to Mr Filch's office door. We have had three changes in staffing this year. We are very pleased to welcome back Professor Grubbly-Plank, who will be taking Care of Magical Creatures lessons; we are also delighted to introduce Professor Umbridge, our new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher." There was a round of polite but fairly unenthusiastic applause.

"Because of the circumstances of last year, I am proud to announce that I have hired Weasel here to protect our school. Do not give him reason to harm you. Tryouts for the house Quidditch teams will take place on the -"

He broke off, looking enquiringly at Professor Umbridge. As she was not much taller standing than sitting, there was a moment when nobody understood why Dumbledore had stopped talking, but then Professor Umbridge cleared her throat;

"Hem, _hem_," and it became clear that she had got to her feet and was intending to make a speech.

Dumbledore only looked taken aback for a moment, then he sat down smartly and looked alertly at Professor Umbridge as though he desired nothing better than to listen to her talk. Other members of staff were not as adept at hiding their surprise. Professor Sprout's eyebrows had disappeared into her flyaway hair and Professor McGonagall's mouth was as thin as anybody had ever seen it. No new teacher had ever interrupted Dumbledore before, it would seem. Many of the students were smirking; this woman obviously did not know how things were done at Hogwarts.

"Thank you, Headmaster," Professor Umbridge simpered, "for those kind words of welcome."

Her voice was high-pitched, breathy and little-girlish and Itachi felt an instant dislike of her. She gave another little throat-clearing cough ("Hem, hem.") and continued.

"Well, it is lovely to be back at Hogwarts, I must say!" She smiled, revealing very pointed teeth.

_Creepy..._ Was the only thing that passed through Itachi's mind.

"And to see such happy little faces looking up at me!"

None of the faces Itachi could see looked happy. On the contrary, they all looked rather taken-aback at being addressed as though they were young children.

"I am very much looking forward to getting to know you all and I'm sure we'll be very good friends!" Itachi found himself raising an eyebrow at this. It was more likely to find that Orochimaru was actually the princess of daisies rather than the students becoming her friends. Professor Umbridge cleared her throat again ("Hem, hem."), but when she continued, some of the breathlessness was gone from her voice. She sounded much more business-like and now her words had a dull learned-by-heart sound to them.

"The Ministry of Magic has always considered the education of young witches and wizards to be of vital importance. The rare gifts with which you were born may come to nothing if not nurtured and honed by careful instruction. The ancient skills unique to the wizarding community must be passed down the generations lest we lose them tor ever. The treasure trove of magical knowledge amassed by our ancestors must be guarded, replenished and polished by those who have been called to the noble profession of teaching."

Professor Umbridge paused here and made a little bow to her fellow staff members, none of whom bowed back to her. Itachi himself let out a bark of laughter that quickly was hidden by a cough. Professor McGonagall's dark eyebrows had contracted so that she looked positively hawk-like, and the ANBU saw her exchange a significant glance with Professor Sprout as Umbridge gave another little "_hem, hem" _and went on with her speech.

"Every headmaster and headmistress of Hogwarts has brought something new to the weighty task of governing this historic school, and that is as it should be, or without progress there will be stagnation and decay. There again, progress for progress's sake must be discouraged, for our tried and tested traditions often require no tinkering. A balance, then, between old and new, between permanence and change, between tradition and innovation…"

The quiet that had filled the Hall when Dumbledore was speaking was breaking up as students put their heads together, whispering and giggling. Over on the Ravenclaw table some girls were chatting animatedly with each other. A few seats along from them, Luna Lovegood had got out _The Quibbler_ again. Meanwhile, at the Hufflepuff table a prefect was one of the few still staring at Professor Umbridge, but he was glassy-eyed and Itachi was sure he was only pretending to listen in an attempt to live up to the badge gleaming on his chest.

Professor Umbridge did not seem to notice the restlessness of her audience. Itachi had the impression that a full-scale shinobi battle could have broken out under her nose and she would have continued on with her speech. The teachers and Itachi himself, however, were still listening very attentively, and one Gryffindor student seemed to be drinking in every word Umbridge spoke, though, judging by her expression, they were not at all to her taste.

"… because some changes will be for the better, while others will come, in the fullness of time, to be recognized as errors of judgment. Meanwhile, some old habits will be retained, and rightly so, whereas others, outmoded and outworn, must be abandoned. Let us move forward, then, into a new era of openness, effectiveness and accountability, intent on preserving what ought to be preserved, perfecting what needs to be perfected, and pruning wherever we find practices that ought to be prohibited."

She sat down. Dumbledore clapped. The staff followed his lead, Itachi being one many who brought their hands together only once or twice before stopping. A few students joined in, but most had been taken unawares by the end of the speech, not having listened to more than a few words of it, and before they could start applauding properly, Dumbledore had stood up again.

"Thank you very much, Professor Umbridge, that was most illuminating," he said, bowing to her. Itachi nearly snorted. "Now, as I was saying, Quidditch tryouts will be held…" When Dumbledore finished his speech and the students got up, Itachi approached Dumbledore.

_"Dumbledore-san, I would like to thank you properly for serving some of my native foods and including the chopsticks."_ Dumbledore smiled and waved off the thanks.

_"It was no trouble at all. In fact, I think much of the staff enjoyed it. I found it rather good myself."_

_"How did you know th-" _Itachi was interrupted by a "Hem, _hem_."

"Yes, Professor Umbridge?"

"I would like to ask why you have hired a guard?"

"To protect the students and staff." Dumbledore said it like it was quite obvious and, to Itachi, it was.

"From what, I daresay?"

"Voldemort, of course." He didn't seem to notice her flinch.

"He is dead, Dumbledore!"

"He is back. _Now, what was it you were saying, Weasel?_"

_"How-"_

"For the last time, using that maniac as an excuse to steal the Minister's post-"

"I do not wish to become Minister of Magic. If you do remember, I had been offered it many times, all of which I have declined simply because I have no desire to lead the witches and wizards of Europe. _Weasel, as you were saying?"_

_"I was wondering how you knew-"_

"Hem, hem." Itachi ignored her this time.

_"-that my favorite food is pocky?"_

_"Your Hokage suggested that I try it."_

_"I suspected he was part of the reason behind it."_

"It is very rude to talk in a foreign language in front of someone who does not know it."

"It is also very rude to interrupt people while they are talking. Seeing as you did this, I got the impression that you did not care for manners." Itachi told her. McGonagall and several other teachers in hearing range hid their smirks behind their hands.

"Are manners very important to you, deary?" Umbridge asked with a voice dripping with pseudo-sweetness.

"My clan is one of the top clans my country. Therefore, we are expected to have manners. For instance, I often got chided by my mother for holding my chopsticks in my left hand." It was part truth. Itachi still gets chided for that. He tried to fix it, he knows how to do it with his right hand, but it is very uncomfortable to him.

"Is eating with chopsticks in your left hand bad manners? What country do you hail from?"

"I 'hail' from _Konohagakure no Sato_. My country is _Hi no Kuni_. Yes, eating chopsticks with your left hand is very bad manners."

"Where is ka-ne-ho-ga-ker-ee ne soto and hee ne koo-na?" She had a look of complete seriousness on her face.

"Seeing as I have never heard of either of the places you have just mentioned, I cannot say. _Ja ne_."

"Bu-" The ANBU member didn't hear the rest as he vanished in a poof of smoke.

Itachi reappeared in front of his quarters. The painting of man from the early 1800's greeted him. The man was asleep.

"Ahem." Clearing his throat had a whole new meaning now and Itachi vowed to do it as little as possible. The man didn't move.

"Hello?" No response. "Hey? Is that a fireball heading towards us?" The painting snapped its eyes open and looked both ways down the hall.

_"Watakushi wa Uchiha Itachi desu."_ He told the painting when it. The shinobi was glad none of the paintings knew his language, he could afford to use his real name.

"If you say so." It grumbled and swung open. Itachi crawled through the hole behind it and looked around. His bag and some books were laying on a table, up against the wall. In front of a roaring fire was a small table, raised about a foot and a half off the ground, with two overly-stuffed cushions (which Itachi rather liked as they were very comfortable) on either side of it. There was a futon in the corner with white sheets and a white pillow. Beside it was a small table with a clay cup of steaming tea on it. All in all, it was very nice by Itachi's standards. His father would not have been impressed at all. Smiling at himself, Itachi made some hand-seals; Boar-Dog-Bird-Monkey-Ram.

_"Kuchiyose no Jutsu!" _There was a poof of smoke. When it cleared, Itachi was greeted with a black dragon the size of a German Shepard. It glared at him.

_"What? I was just about to talk to Maryu!"_

_"I need you to help me monitor the castle, Kyoshiryu." _The dragon grumbled and looked around at their surroundings.

_"Is that tea?"_

_"You can have it if you wish." _He looked up as he searched his bag for some soldier pills.

_"Thanks." _Standing on his hind legs and using his tail for balance, Kyoshiryu grabbed the cup. The dragon finished off the tea in the blink of an eye. Itachi stood by the entrance, waiting for the summon.

_"Okay, I'm done. Let's get this over with. If I'm lucky, I might get a battle scar to impress Maryu with..."_ The dragon set the cup down and returned to all fours.

"_Somehow, I doubt that will happen here. It is a rather peaceful here. It is just the quiet before the war. Or at least, that is what the client thinks." _The ANBU Weasel opened the portrait and climbed out, closely followed by Kyoshiryu. The halls were quiet as they wandered around. It was only broken by the random mutterings of portraits as the two passed. They made no noise for a few minutes as they walked. Kyoshiryu looked around before speaking.

_"Hey? Where are we anyway? This isn't anywhere in the shinobi countries that I know of." _He stopped to scratch the spot behind his head, a habit he had picked up after a bet with Sasuke ("I bet you can't act like a dog for a week, scratchin' your ear and barking and everything!" Kyoshiryu huffed. "Can too!").

_"This is a school called Hogwarts, in a country called England."_

_"England? Never heard of it."_

_"Neither had I before I accepted the mission. They are not on our maps and we are not on theirs. Apparently, we are from different dimensions connected by a small tunnel between the mountains about fifteen miles South of Konoha and some mountains in a place called Antarctica."_

_"Then how did these people find it?" _Itachi shrugged.

_"No clue. The leader of the school, the position is called the 'Headmaster,' is a man called Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore."_

_"That's a mouthful."_

_"Yup. Anyway, Dumbledore-san likes to learn. Perhaps he came upon the entrance by mistake."_

_"How did he talk to the Hokage? These people haven't been speaking our language. That's a big barrier to get around."_

_"There is a language in this world that is very similar to our own. He connected the similarities and learned the language."_

_"Dedicated, is he?"_

_"It would seem so."_ The two were silent for a while, Itachi nodding at the other staff members who past them. Many seemed uneasy about Kyoshiryu, but Itachi quickly explained he was not the same as their dragons. Kyoshiryu pretended not to care when they freaked out about him talking. By three in the morning, the end of his shift (Snape took over for him after that), Itachi and Kyoshiryu had caught three first-years and two third years out of bed. Dismissing Kyoshiryu and telling the portrait the password, Itachi lay down on his futon and closed his eyes. There were no dreams tonight. At six-thirty, Itachi rose feeling only slightly tired. He fixed that by drinking some tea. The shinobi sighed, it was going to be a long year.

Breakfast consisted of a bowl of steamed white rice, a small piece of salmon, a bowl of miso soup with tofu, green tea and some tiny pickled plums. He was delighted that McGonagall decided to try them as well, despite the fact that she did not think one should eat fish for breakfast ("What's wrong with fish?" The ANBU asked.). It the end, however, McGonagall had decided she liked it compared to her regular bagel and cereal. They both watched as the owls came in. It was rather disappointing when there was no messenger hawk among them. He hadn't talked to his brother in nearly four weeks. When breakfast was over, Itachi thanked Dumbledore once more in his native language, much to Umbridge's annoyance. It took several minutes to decide what House to follow, but that problem was resolved when the girl Hermione ran up to him and started asking him questions. He ended up walking with her to her class.

"Where did you come from?"

"I come from _Konohagakure no Sato_. My country is _Hi no Kuni._ In English that would be... Hidden Village In The Leaves in the Land of Fire?"

"That's a very long name."

"I suppose it is. We sometimes call it _Konoha_ for short. Though it is not that long compared to some words."

"Like what?" And Itachi told them. It wasn't one of the longer words he's seen, but it would do.

"Bloody hell! What kind of a word is that?" Asked Ron when he was done. Itachi frowned behind his mask; it didn't seem like _that_ long of a word.

"A lung disease caused by breathing in particles of siliceous volcanic dust."

"What are you, a walking dictionary?"

"That is very rude." Itachi told him. The red-head's ears turned the same color as his hair.

"S-sorry."

"It is fine."

"Sooooo..." It was Hermione again. "Do you like it in Europe?"

"It is very cold here. Other than that, it is okay."

"Is it warm in you country?"

"It is called the Land of Fire for a reason. Though it is not as hot as Wind country."

"Where's Wind country?" Hermione asked.

"About a three days run from _Konoha _for a _shinobi_. We are at war with each other at the moment."

"How fast does a shenabee run?" Itachi winced at the butchered word before disappearing and reappearing down the hall before coming back the same way. He wasn't even winded. The three Gryffindors gaped at him.

"What? Shinobi are built for speed." Ron was the first to recover.

"Is that why you're so short?" Clearly Ron did not see the vain ticking on Itachi's forehead (Though the mask was his excuse later.) or he would not have continued. "I mean, you like, a midget! Is everyone in your country short or is it-" He could not continue as Hermione smacked him in the back of the head.

"Ronald! That's rude! Just because you're taller than him doesn't mean you have to make fun of him! Heck, you're taller than all three of us, right Harry?"

"Hey, don't drag me into this!" Itachi chuckled.

"Thank you Hermione-san. It is much appreciated."

"Your welcome." When they reached their first class, Itachi was mentally hyperventilating. No shinobi liked ghosts. Not since some found that the spirits of people they killed can make them miserable for the rest of their lives. One of the Jounin, Itachi couldn't remember his name, jumped off the Hokage Monument just to be rid of one of the annoying things. He was caught halfway down. The Hokage sent him to someone who specializes in exorcism and the poor Jounin nearly went broke.

It was one of the reasons Itachi loved his mask (There were a few, despite the fact he wanted to beat whoever assigned him it as a pun on his name.). If the spirit didn't know what your face looked like, it couldn't haunt you. Swallowing his fear and standing as far away from the ghost as he could, Itachi managed the class. In fact, he forgot who was teaching about seven minutes in and found himself interested in the class.

He couldn't see why everyone was falling asleep, the ghost was actually quite graphic in his descriptions (Itachi had found the students liked graphic explanations by listening to some Muggle-borns talk about a horror movie they saw over the summer.). The monotone voice was a minor drawback, Itachi was used to his father talking at family meetings, so it didn't bother him much.

The next class was potions. Despite how rude the man was, Itachi respected him. That was mainly because he put his life on the line as a spy (Not many in this country seemed to do that. Muggle she reminded Itachi of a shinobi. A fine misty drizzle was falling, so that the people standing in huddles around the edges of the yard looked blurred at the edges.

Harry, Ron and Hermione chose a secluded corner under a heavily dripping balcony, turning up the collars of their robes against the chilly September air, and talked about what Snape was likely to set them in the first lesson of the year. Itachi listened from his hiding place above them. They had got as far as agreeing that it was likely to be something extremely difficult, just to catch them off guard after a two-month holiday, when someone walked around the corner towards them.

"Hello, Harry!"

It was the long, black-haired girl from the train. Itachi turned his attention to Harry, who was turning redder by the second.

"Hi," said Harry.

"You got that stuff off, then?"

"Yeah," said Harry, trying to grin as though the memory of their last meeting was funny as opposed to mortifying. "So, did you… er… have a good summer?"

Something seemed to tauten in her face, but she said, "Oh, it was all right, you know…"

"Is that a Tornados badge?" Ron demanded suddenly, pointing to the front of her robes, where a sky-blue badge emblazoned with a double gold 'T' was pinned. "You don't support them, do you?"

"Yeah, I do," said the girl.

"Have you always supported them, or just since they started winning the league?" said Ron, in what Itachi considered an accusatory tone of voice.

"I've supported them since I was six," said Black-Hair coolly. "Anyway… see you, Harry."

She walked away. Hermione waited until Black-Hair was halfway across the courtyard before rounding on Ron.

"You are so tactless!"

"What? I only asked her if -"

"Couldn't you tell she wanted to talk to Harry on her own?"

"So? She could've, I wasn't stopping -"

"Why on earth were you attacking her about her Quidditch team?"

"Attacking? I wasn't attacking her, I was only -"

"Who _cares_ if she supports the Tornados?"

"Oh, come on, half the people you see wearing those badges only bought them last season -"

"But what does it _matter_!"

"It means they're not real fans, they're just jumping on the bandwagon -"

"That's the bell," said Harry dully, because Ron and Hermione were bickering too loudly to hear it. They did not stop arguing all the way down to Snape's dungeon, much to Itachi's annoyance. Being a shinobi meant having better senses. Sound included.

As the students lined up in front of the dungeon door, Itachi focused on the sound of water dripping somewhere down the wall to relieve his growing headache. He raised an eyebrow at the ominous sound of Snape's dungeon door creaking open. Did doors usually sound that creepy? The shinobi shrugged it off and walked to the back of the classroom, where he stood perfectly straight and still, as was taught to shinobi.

"Settle down," said Snape coldly, shutting the door behind him. There was no real need for the call to order; the moment the class had heard the door close, quiet had fallen and all fidgeting stopped. Snape's mere presence seemed to be enough to ensure the class's silence.

"Before we begin today's lesson," said Snape, sweeping over to his desk and staring around at them all, "I think it appropriate to remind you that next June you will be sitting an important examination, during which you will prove how much you have learned about the composition and use of magical potions. Moronic though some of this class undoubtedly are, I expect you to scrape an "Acceptable" in your OWL, or suffer my… displeasure."

His gaze lingered this time on Neville, who gulped. And there went the eyebrow on Itachi's face, raising against his will at the man's antics. Was it really necessary to torment the students?

"After this year, of course, many of you will cease studying with me," Snape went on. "I take only the very best into my NEWT Potions class, which means that some of us will certainly be saying goodbye."

His eyes rested on Harry and his lip curled. Harry glared back. Itachi watched silently, making notes in his head. These two obviously hated each others guts.

"But we have another year to go before that happy moment of farewell," said Snape softly, "so, whether or not you are intending to attempt NEWT, I advise all of you to concentrate your efforts upon maintaining the high pass level I have come to expect from my OWL students. Today we will be mixing a potion that often comes up at Ordinary Wizarding Level: the Draught of Peace, a potion to calm anxiety and soothe agitation. Be warned: if you are too heavy-handed with the ingredients you will put the drinker into a heavy and sometimes irreversible sleep, so you will need to pay close attention to what you are doing." On Harry's left, Hermione sat up a little straighter, her expression one of utmost attention.

"The ingredients and method -" Snape flicked his wand at the blackboard, where the instructions appeared, "- are on the blackboard you will find everything you need-" he flicked his wand again "- in the store cupboard-" The door of the said cupboard sprang open. "- you have an hour and a half… start."

It seemed that Snape could hardly have set the students a more difficult, fiddly potion. The ingredients had to be added to the cauldron in precisely the right order and quantities; the mixture had to be stirred exactly the right number of times, firstly in clockwise, then in anti-clockwise directions; the heat of the flames on which it was simmering had to be lowered to exactly the right level for a specific number of minutes before the final ingredient was added. But perhaps it was expected that students were to be able to do these things by their fifth year. Itachi would have if he had five years to practice (Really, who spends seven _years_ in a school? He had only spent two or three at the Academy (though he had graduated earlier than most...), and these teens still had two more to go!).

"A light silver vapor should now be rising from your potion," called Snape, with ten minutes left to go. Itachi looked around at the students.

Harry's cauldron was issuing copious amounts of dark gray steam; Ron's was spitting green sparks. Seamus was feverishly prodding the flames at the base of his cauldron with the tip of his wand, as they seemed to be going out. The surface of Hermione's potion, however, was a shimmering mist of silver vapor, and as Snape swept by he looked down his hooked nose at it without comment, which meant he could find nothing to criticize.

At Harry's cauldron, however, Snape stopped, and looked down at it with a horrible smirk on his face.

"Potter, what is this supposed to be?"

The Slytherins at the front of the class all looked up eagerly; they loved hearing Snape taunt Harry.

"The Draught of Peace," said Harry tensely.

"Tell me, Potter," said Snape softly, "can you read?"

Draco Malfoy laughed. Itachi frowned. Snape was beginning to seem like his own father. His respect for him was slowly dripping away.

"Yes, I can," said Harry, his fingers clenched tightly around his stick... wand... thing.

"Read the third line of the instructions for me, Potter."

Harry squinted at the blackboard; it was not easy to make out the instructions through the haze of multi-colored steam now filling the dungeon.

"Add powdered moonstone, stir three times counter-clockwise, allow to simmer for seven minutes then add two drops of syrup of hellebore."

He had not added syrup of hellebore, but had proceeded straight to the fourth line of the instructions after allowing his potion to simmer for seven minutes.

"Did you do everything on the third line, Potter?"

"No," said Harry very quietly.

"I beg your pardon?"

"No," said Harry, more loudly. "I forgot the hellebore."

"I know you did, Potter, which means that this mess is utterly worthless. _Evanesce._"

The contents of Harry's potion vanished; he was left standing foolishly beside an empty cauldron.

"Those of you who _have_ managed to read the instructions, fill one flagon with a sample of your potion, label it clearly with your name and bring it up to my desk for testing," said Snape. "Homework: twelve inches of parchment on the properties of moonstone and its uses in potion-making, to be handed in on Thursday."

While everyone around him filled their flagons, Harry cleared away his things.

Neville was now having to gouge out of his cauldron, Itachi noted with interest and then turned to watch everyone else march up to Snape's desk with filled and corked flagons. When the bell rang, Harry was first out of the dungeon . The ceiling had turned an even murkier gray during the morning. Rain was lashing the high windows.

Stiff and tired from standing all day, Itachi started his meal with a quiet; "Itadakimasu."

McGonagall sat down next to him, just as tired. Itachi lifted his chopsticks in a half-heated greeting. McGonagall nodded at him.

"I swear, that woman!"

"Which woman?"

"Sybill Trelawney! She keeps scaring my students."

"How so?"

"Predicting the students' deaths and injuries is a hobby of hers."

"Predicting... people's deaths?"

"Oh! Sorry! It's easy to forget you're not from around here!"

"Thank you. I try and fit in." McGonagall smiled, though it looked rather strained.

"Sybill Trelawney is teaching Divination. She teaches the students how to 'predict' the future."

"You can do that?"

"Normally I don't question other teachers' professions... but Sybill is an old fraud!"

"I'll keep that in mind. I believe some of my charges have a class called Divination next."

"Ignore everything she says."

"I'll keep that in mind. It seems Potter-san is leaving for his next class. I'll follow him._ Ja ne_, McGonagall-san."

"See you later, then." Itachi disappeared in a poof of smoke, reappearing beside Harry. He was walking up the marble staircase two steps at a time, past the many students hurrying towards lunch. They passed a large picture of a knight on a landing. Itachi had met this knight on one of his patrols of the castle, before the students had arrived. Itachi found him rather funny. Sir Cadogan drew his sword and brandished it fiercely at Harry, who ignored him, then at Itachi, who smiled and apologized.

"I'm somewhat busy at the moment. Maybe later?"

"Come back, you scurvy dogs! Stand fast and fight!" yelled Sir Cadogan in a muffled voice from behind his visor, but Harry and Itachi merely walked on and when Sir Cadogan attempted to follow him by running into a neighboring picture, he was rebuffed by its inhabitant, a large and angry-looking wolfhound.

Itachi spent the rest of the lunch hour standing silently with Harry underneath the trapdoor at the top of North Tower. Consequently, they were the first to ascend the silver ladder that led to Sybill Trelawney's classroom when the bell rang.

A thin woman, heavily draped in shawls and glittering with strings of beads, was in the classroom. She reminded the ANBU of one of the Aburame clan's insects, with her glasses hugely magnifying her eyes. She was busy putting copies of battered leather-bound books on each of the spindly little tables with which her room was littered when the two entered the room, but the light cast by the lamps covered by scarves and the low-burning, sickly-scented fire was so dim she appeared not to notice them.

Itachi took near the entrance to the classroom, for more fresh air, while trying to ignore the scent that made his eyes burn and made his stomach feel slightly ill. Harry found a spot at one of the odd tables. The rest of the class arrived over the next five minutes. Ron emerged from the trapdoor, looked around carefully, spotted Harry and made directly for him, or as directly as he could while having to wend his way between tables, chairs and overstuffed pouffes.

"Hermione and me have stopped arguing," Itachi heard Ron tell Harry while taking a seat beside him.

"Good," grunted Harry. That seemed rather rude to Itachi, and by the look on Ron's face, he thought so too.

"But Hermione says she thinks it would be nice if you stopped taking out your temper on us," said Ron.

"I'm not -"

"I'm just passing on the message," said Ron, talking over him. "But I reckon she's right. It's not our fault how Seamus and Snape treat you."

"I never said it -" Itachi ignored the two and gave his attention to the bug-woman.

"Good-day," said Trelawney in a misty, dreamy voice, "And welcome back to Divination. I have, of course, been following your fortunes most carefully over the holidays, and am delighted to see that you have all returned to Hogwarts safely - as, of course, I knew you would. You will find on the tables before you copies of _The Dream Oracle_, by Inigo Imago. Dream interpretation is a most important means of divining the future and one that may very probably be tested in your OWL. Not, of course, that I believe examination passes or failures are of the remotest importance when it comes to the sacred art of divination. If you have the Seeing Eye, certificates and grades matter very little. However, the Headmaster likes you to sit the examination, so…"

Her voice trailed away delicately, leaving Itachi in no doubt that Trelawney considered her subject above such trivial matters as examinations.

"Turn, please, to the introduction and read what Imago has to say on the matter of dream interpretation. Then, divide into pairs. Use _The Dream Oracle_ to interpret each others most recent dreams. Carry on." Itachi turned his attention back to Harry and Ron, so he wouldn't get bored. The bug-woman, however, made that unnecessary.

"Hello, dear." If Itachi had not been a respectable shinobi, he would have tried to scoot away. She was rather unnerving, staring intently at him through her oversized glasses.

"Hello, Trelawney-san." Thankfully his voice was even, not giving any sign that he was uncomfortable with the situation.

"You know my name? How delightful. Where did you learn it?"

"Shouldn't you know that already?" Several students sniggered at them.

"I do, dear. But it is rather rude to not ask these things. It would make a conversation rather boring.

"McGonagall-san mentioned you when I asked about Divination." Itachi was now very aware that the students were listening. It was weird being the center of attention in a place he doesn't know very well.

"You come from Japan, yes?"

"Er... No, actually, I come from _Hi no Kuni. _Fire Country in English. It is what you might call... er... Unplottable?"

"Really, dear?" Trelawney gazed down at him with her overly large eyes.

"Yes."

"Why do you speak Japanese?" Itachi was starting to get very uncomfortable with her so close.

"I do not. My language is very similar, though. We do not have a name for it, because everyone in our land speaks it. We did not know there were other languages until Dumbledore-san arrived."

"I'm I correct in saying that you are of twenty-three years of age?"

"Um... No..."

"Right, right. You are older."

"No..." Some more students seemed to find the conversation interesting now. This was an opportunity to learn more about their guard.

"Younger then?"

"If I'm not older... and I'm not of that age... I suppose I must be..." He faked an amazed tone, making several children laugh. Trelawney simply looked annoyed.

"You have siblings, don't you? A brother?"

"Yes." He stared at her. It could very well be a guess. McGonagall had said she was a fraud, and she trusted her. By the way she said it, she was completely certain Trelawney had no ability whatsoever to see the future. Bug-woman patted 'Weasel' on the shoulder and he tried very hard not to flinch.

"He will be the only survivor." And with that, she walked away, leaving him staring at her back.

"Okay, then..." He watched her walk around the classroom for a few moments before returning to his difficult task of not throwing up into his mask from the incense.

It was good that this lesson was not a double period. By the time the students had all finished reading the introduction of the book, Itachi felt he would go insane from the combination of the smell and pitying glances he got from Trelawney's two fan-girls.

Instead of watching them, Itachi closed his eyes and listened to the students. At the table next to Harry and Ron, Dean, whom Itachi had met in the hall on the way to potions with the Golden Trio, had paired up with Neville, who immediately embarked on a long-winded explanation of a nightmare involving a pair of giant scissors wearing his grandmother's best hat.

"I never remember my dreams," said Ron, "you tell one."

"You must remember one of them," said Harry, apparently impatient. There was a pause.

"Well, I dreamed I was playing Quidditch the other night," said Ron, screwing up his face in an effort to remember. "What d'you reckon that means?"

"Probably that you're going to be eaten by a giant marshmallow or something," said Harry, much to Itachi's amusement, as he turned the pages of _The Dream Oracle_. When the bell went, he and Ron led the way back down the ladder, Ron grumbling loudly. Itachi followed after them.

"Hey, Weasel?" Asked Harry.

"Hn?"

"You have a brother?"

"Yes. Sasuke-kun just turned six last month." Once again, Itachi couldn't keep the pride out of his voice as he talked about his brother. He couldn't help it, loving your little siblings was something that came naturally. "You may see him when he comes to visit on the weekends and holidays. Dumbledore-san has arranged for it. Though I am slightly worried since he had not sent me any letters yet... Knowing him, I'd should have a box full of them by now..."

"He cares for you, I take it?" Itachi snorted.

"He practically worships the ground I walk on... It is annoying sometimes." Ron and Harry laughed at him, then waved as they saw Hermione coming towards them. They headed to their next class together, talking about homework and such.

When they entered the Defense Against the Dark Arts classroom they found Umbridge already seated at the teacher's desk, wearing the fluffy pink cardigan of the night before and the black velvet bow on top of her head. Itachi winced. It should be illegal to wear that much pink. He stood at the back of the class as usual.

Did you like it? Please tell, for without reviews, there is no good reason to continue a story!- ^.^

_Ja ne._


	3. Chapter 3

The class was quiet as it entered the room; Umbridge was, as yet, an unknown quantity and nobody knew how strict a disciplinarian she was likely to be.

"Well, good afternoon!" she said, when finally the whole class had sat down. Itachi cringed behind his mask. That voice was a nightmare!

A few people mumbled 'good afternoon' in reply.

"Tut, tut," said Umbridge. "_That_ won't do, now, will it? I should like you, please, to reply 'Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge'. One more time, please. Good afternoon, class!"

"Good afternoon, Professor Umbridge," they chanted back at her.

"There, now," said Professor Umbridge sweetly. "That wasn't too difficult, was it? Wands away and quills out, please."

Many of the class exchanged gloomy looks, apparently 'wands away' meant a boring class. Itachi watched as Harry and several others shoved their wands back inside their bags and pull out quills, ink and parchment. Professor Umbridge opened her handbag, extracted her own wand, which was an unusually short one, and tapped the blackboard sharply with it; words appeared on the board at once:

_Defense_ Against _the Dark Arts A Return to Basic Principles_

"Well now, your teaching in this subject has been rather disrupted and fragmented, hasn't it?" stated Professor Umbridge, turning to face the class with her hands clasped neatly in front of her. "The constant changing of teachers, many of whom do not seem to have followed any Ministry-approved curriculum, has unfortunately resulted in your being far below the standard we would expect to see in your OWL year. You will be pleased to know, however, that these problems are now to be rectified. We will be following a carefully structured, theory-centered, Ministry-approved course of defensive magic this year. Copy down the following, please."

She rapped the blackboard again; the first message vanished and was replaced by the 'Course Aims'.

_. Understanding the principles underlying defensive magic._

_. Learning to recognize situations in which defensive magic can legally be used._

_. Placing the use of defensive magic in a context for practical use._

For a couple of minutes the room was full of the sound of scratching quills on parchment. When everyone had copied down Professor Umbridge's three course aims she asked, "Has everybody got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?" There was a dull murmur of assent throughout the class.

"I think we'll try that again," said Umbridge. "When I ask you a question, I should like you to reply, 'Yes, Professor Umbridge', or 'No, Professor Umbridge'. So: has everyone got a copy of _Defensive Magical Theory_ by Wilbert Slinkhard?"

"Yes, Professor Umbridge," rang through the room.

"Good," said Umbridge. "I should like you to turn to page five and read "Chapter One, Basics for Beginners". There will be no need to talk."

Umbridge left the blackboard and settled herself in the chair behind the teacher's desk, observing them all closely with those pouchy toad's eyes. Itachi observed the class. Harry stared at a page without turning for several minutes. Ron was absent-absentmindedly turning his quill over and over in his fingers, staring at the same spot on the page. Hermione had not even opened her copy of Defensive _Magical Theory_. She was staring fixedly at Umbridge with her hand in the air.

Harry looked at her enquiringly, but she merely shook her head slightly to indicate that she was not about to answer questions, and continued to stare at Umbridge, who was looking just as resolutely in another direction.

"I believe Granger-san wishes to ask you something." Umbridge's smile became fixed and she turned to Hermione.

"Did you want to ask something about the chapter, dear?" she asked, as though she had only just noticed her.

"Not about the chapter, no," said Hermione.

"Well, we're reading just now," said Umbridge, showing her small pointed teeth. "If you have other queries we can deal with them at the end of class."

"I've got a query about your course aims," said Hermione.

Umbridge raised her eyebrows.

"And your name is?"

"Hermione Granger," said Hermione.

"Well, Miss Granger, I think the course aims are perfectly clear if you read them through carefully," said Professor Umbridge in a voice of determined sweetness. Itachi felt the sudden urge to strangle her.

Instead (though it wasn't nearly as fun) he recited shinobi rule number four; A shinobi must always put the mission first. And his mission was to _protect_ the students and teachers, not strangle them. Also, shinobi rule number twenty-five clearly states that; A shinobi must never show their emotions. Strangling a teacher is obviously showing his anger and annoyance. Disappointed despite himself, the ANBU turned his attention back to the conversation.

"Well, I don't," said Hermione bluntly. "There's nothing written up there about using defensive spells."

There was a short silence in which many members of the class turned their heads to frown at the three course aims still written on the blackboard.

"Using defensive spells?" Umbridge repeated with a annoying laugh ('_Shinobi rules,' _Itachi told himself.), "Why, I can't imagine any situation arising in my classroom that would require you to use a defensive spell, Miss Granger. You surely aren't expecting to be attacked during class?"

"We're not going to use magic?" Ron exclaimed loudly.

"Students raise their hands when they wish to speak in my class, Mr-?"

"Weasley," said Ron, thrusting his hand into the air.

Umbridge, smiling still more widely, turned her back on him. Harry and Hermione immediately raised their hands too. Umbridge's pouchy eyes lingered on Harry for a moment before she addressed Hermione.

"Yes, Miss Granger? You wanted to ask something else?"

"Yes," said Hermione. "Surely the whole point of Defense Against the Dark Arts is to practice defensive spells?"

"Are you a Ministry-trained educational expert, Miss Granger?" asked Umbridge, in her falsely sweet voice.

"No, but -"

"Well then, I'm afraid you are not qualified to decide what the "whole point" of any class is. Wizards much older and cleverer than you have devised our new pro gramme of study. You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way -"

"What use is that?" said Harry loudly. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be in a -"

"Hand, Mr. Potter!" sang Umbridge. Itachi cringed. He then calmly put the senbon that had appeared in his hand away. Neville Longbottom gave him a frightened look.

Harry thrust his fist in the air. Again, Umbridge promptly turned away from him, but now several other people had their hands up, too.

"And your name is?" Umbridge said to Dean.

"Dean Thomas."

"Well, Mr Thomas?"

"Well, it's like Harry said, isn't it?" said Dean. "If we're going to be attacked, it won't be risk free."

"I repeat," said Umbridge, smiling in a very irritating way (_'Shinobi rules...'_), "do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

"No, but -"

Umbridge talked over him. "I do not wish to criticize the way things have been run in this school," she said, an unconvincing smile stretching her wide mouth, "but you have been exposed to some very irresponsible wizards in this class, very irresponsible indeed - not to mention," she gave a nasty little laugh, "extremely dangerous half-breeds."

"If you mean Professor Lupin," piped up Dean angrily, "he was the best we ever -"

_"Hand_, Mr Thomas! As I was saying - you have been introduced to spells that have been complex, inappropriate to your age group and potentially lethal. You have been frightened into believing that you are likely to meet Dark attacks every other day -"

"No we haven't," Hermione said, "we just -"

_"Your hand is not up, Miss Granger!"_

Hermione put up her hand. Umbridge turned away from her.

"It is my understanding that my predecessor not only performed illegal curses in front of you, he actually performed them on you." Itachi frowned. He had not been told of this. Stupid client. If Itachi was not told about these dangers, how can he be expected to fight? What was a illegal curse anyway?

Judging by these people's standards, it was probably something Ibiki would love. He might even try to hire a wizard to help in his interrogations. The ANBU pulled out a scroll, some ink, some sand, and a brush. The scroll was covered in writing, a list of all the things that regarded his mission that he had not been told. He added this to the list (along with a personal note to inform Ibiki of the knew information). He sprinkled the sand onto the drying ink and put it away, tuning back into the conversation.

"- your examination, which, after all, is what school is all about. And your name is?" she added, staring at Parvati, whose hand had just shot up.

"Parvati Patil, and isn't there a practical bit in our Defense Against the Dark Arts OWL? Aren't we supposed to show that we can actually do the counter-curses and things?"

"As long as you have studied the theory hard enough, there is no reason why you should not be able to perform the spells under carefully controlled examination conditions," said Umbridge dismissively. _Forget the shinobi rules!_

"Rubbish." All eyes turned to Itachi.

"What was that, Weasel?"

"I meant no offense." His tone told them that he had indeed meant offense. "But one cannot learn if one does not practice. Practice makes perfect is a popular phrase that points this out."

"And who are you to be criticizing my class?"

"You addressed me not three seconds ago. Dumbledore-san introduced me along with you and Grubbly-Plank-san at the welcoming feast, if you do remember." Several students were trying not to laugh. Really, what was so funny? He was trying to be serious!

"You, who are not even from this country, are criticizing how we teach here?"

"Yes I am. Practice makes perfect applies to everyone but geniuses, and even then, they half to practice sometimes as well."

"Are you calling my students dumb."

"Not at all. I am merely pointing out that Granger-san is correct in this matter."

"So you're calling me dumb?"

"Nobody is perfect."

"Get out." Umbridge said, face purple with rage. Really, all he was doing was speaking the truth! There was no reason for her to get all upset... right? And why wouldn't those students stop laughing?

"I take orders only from my leader and the client who signed the contract for my services."

"Who is you leader?"

"_Sarutobi-sama, Sandaime-sama, Hokage-sama, Sarutobi-sensei... _Which name do you want?"

"Who signed your contract?"

"Dumbledore-san."

"How can I contact your leader?"

"I don't see any reason to. By the time your message got to him, this class would be over and I would have left anyway."

"Detention, Mr. Potter. Do not speak without permission, I have said that one too many times today. And ten points from Gryffindor." Growled Umbridge as she pulled a small roll of pink parchment out of her handbag, stretched it out on the desk, dipped her quill into a bottle of ink and started scribbling, hunched over so that Harry could not see what she was writing. Nobody spoke. After a minute or so she rolled up the parchment and tapped it with her wand; it sealed itself seamlessly so that he could not open it.

"Take this to Professor McGonagall, Mr. Potter." Itachi followed him out the door, leaving a clone behind to annoy Umbridge. Maybe the mission wouldn't be boring after all.

"Why are you following me?" Harry asked angrily.

"I wish to see McGonagall as well, I daresay I could use a rest after standing all day anyway."

Harry scoffed quietly, doubtful. Obviously Dumbledore put him up to this. Why else would he follow him around? Harry might not say anything, due to the speech at the start of the year ("Do not give him reason to harm you.") Who knew how much of a temper this guy had? Why would he want to see McGonagall anyway? Report? It wasn't like they hung out or anything! There probably wouldn't even be anything the two to talk about!

The two were silent as they walked. Turning a corner Harry walked slap into Peeves the poltergeist, a wide-mouthed little man floating on his back in midair, juggling several inkwells.

"Why it's Potty Wee Potter and the Wussy Weasey!" cackled Peeves, allowing two of the inkwells to fall to the ground where they smashed and spattered the walls with ink; Harry jumped backwards out of the way with a snarl.

"Get out of it, Peeves."

"Ooh, Crackpot's feeling cranky," said Peeves, pursuing them along the corridor, leering as he zoomed along above the two. "What is it this time, my fine Potty friend? Hearing voices? Seeing visions? Speaking in -" Peeves blew a gigantic raspberry "— tongues?"

"Leave Peeves, before I throw another kunai at you." Itachi said softly, effectively hiding his irritation. Peeves ignored him, instead singing.

_"Oh, most think he's barking, the potty wee lad, But some are more kindly and think he's just sad, But Peevesy knows better and says that he's mad – AH!" __Peeves rushed off, cursing at the kunai now lodged in his leg._

A door to the left flew open and McGonagall emerged from her office looking grim and slightly harassed. Itachi pocketed the shurikan he had in his hand. You never could be too careful.

"What's with this noise? Mr. Potter, why aren't you in class?"

"I've been sent to see you," said Harry stiffly. Itachi gave a small wave.

"Yo."

"Hello, Weasel. Sent, Mr. Potter? What do you mean, sent?" Harry held out the note from Umbridge. McGonagall took it from him, frowning, slit it open with a tap of her wand, stretched it out and began to read. Her eyes zoomed from side to side behind their square spectacles as she read what Umbridge had written, and with each line they became narrower.

"Come in here, Potter. Weasel, you may come in if you wish."

"Thank you, McGonagall-san." They followed her inside her study. The door closed automatically behind them.

"Well?" said Professor McGonagall, rounding on him. "Is this true?"

"Is what true?" Harry asked, aggressively. "Professor?" he added.

"Is it true that you called Professor Umbridge a crackpot behind her back?"

"Yes," said Harry.

"And that you told said He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named isn't going to care whether or not students know the properties of spells?"

"Yes." Professor McGonagall sat down behind her desk, watching Harry closely. Then she said, "Have a biscuit, Potter."

"Have - what?"

"Have a biscuit," she repeated impatiently, indicating a tartan tin lying on top of one of the piles of papers on her desk. "And sit down. Weasel, you should sit as well, you look rather tired."

"Thank you, McGonagall-san."

"Your welcome."

Professor McGonagall set down Professor Umbridge's note and looked very seriously at Harry.

"Potter, you need to be careful."

Harry swallowed his mouthful of Ginger Newt and stared at her. Her tone of voice was not at all what he was used to; it was not brisk, crisp and stern; it was low and anxious and somehow much more human than usual.

"Misbehavior in Dolores Umbridge's class could cost you much more than house points and a detention."

"What do you -?"

"Potter, use your common sense," snapped Professor McGonagall, with an abrupt return to her usual manner. "You know where she comes from, you must know to whom she is reporting."

The bell rang for the end of the lesson. Overhead and all around came the elephantine sounds of hundreds of students on the move.

"It says here she's given you detention every evening this week, starting tomorrow," Professor McGonagall said, looking down at Umbridge's note again.

"Every evening this week!" Harry repeated, horrified. "But, Professor, couldn't you -?"

"No, I couldn't," said Professor McGonagall flatly.

"But -"

"She is your teacher and has every right to give you detention. You will go to her room at five o'clock tomorrow for the first one. Just remember: tread carefully around Dolores Umbridge."

"But I was telling the truth!" said Harry, outraged. "Voldemort is back, you know he is; Professor Dumbledore knows he is -"

"For heaven's sake, Potter!" said Professor McGonagall, straightening her glasses angrily (she had winced horribly when he had used Voldemort's name). "Do you really think this is about truth or lies? It's about keeping your head down and your temper under control!"

She stood up, nostrils wide and mouth very thin, and Harry stood up, too.

"Have another biscuit," she said irritably, thrusting the tin at him.

"No, thanks," said Harry coldly. Itachi mentally snorted. If Academy students were this disrespectful, they would be tied up, humiliated, then given extra homework and training.

"Don't be ridiculous," she snapped.

He took one.

"Thanks," he said, abide grudgingly.

"Didn't you listen to Dolores Umbridge's speech at the start-of-term feast, Potter?"

"Yeah," said Harry. "Yeah… she said… progress will be prohibited or… well, it meant that… that the Ministry of Magic is trying to interfere at Hogwarts."

Professor McGonagall eyed him closely for a moment, then sniffed, walked around her desk and held open the door for him.

"Well, I'm glad you listen to Hermione Granger at any rate," she said, pointing him out of her office. Itachi's shoulders shook with silent laughter. This had to be the strangest conversation he had ever heard. Harry walked out the door and McGonagall sat back down.

"He's got quite the temper, doesn't he?" Asked Itachi.

"Yes... Yes he does. Rather like his father in that manner..." They were silent for several minutes.

"What's a biscuit?"

Itachi ate silently, neither he or McGonagall in the mood for talking at the moment. She was once again trying some of his native food, which made him happy. Not a lot of teachers liked it much or ate it with forks and such. She, Dumbledore, and, surprisingly, Snape were the only ones who ate it with chopsticks.

Head down, Itachi scooted things around his plate, thinking about what the Trelawney woman had said. Sasuke would be the only survivor of what? McGonagall had told him not to worry about it, but he did. There was a flapping of wings and Itachi looked up. He was startled to see a messenger hawk flying towards him. He lifted up his arm for to land on and gave it a piece of fish to eat while he untied the scroll it carried. When it was untied, he coaxed the bird onto his shoulder before opening the scroll. He smiled at the messy, but familiar, characters. It read;

_Aniki,_

_Today we trained at the jutsu. It was realy fun. My Katon; Goukakyuu no Jutsu was realy big! Kaa-san and Tou-san war realy prod! So prod that we went to eat at the stakehouse! Sorry it take so long to right, we was realy busy with family meetins. I miss you and can't wate til the weeken! I put a pressent on the bird. Tou-san says Ispell bad. He bein mean! Miss you lots, Aniki!_

_Sasuke_

Itachi laughed and shook his head. Sasuke needed to work on his writing a bit. McGonagall gave him a look as he untied the small box that was also tied to the hawk. Silently, he handed her the letter and opened the box. Inside was a stuffed weasel. Under his foot was the Uchiha fan, it shows that this weasel was handmade by his mother. She always put an Uchiha fan on anything she makes.

"Uh... Weasel?"

"Hn?"

"What does this say?"

"Oh." She smiled. Itachi read it to her.

"What does Aniki mean?"

"I suppose it is the equivalent to honorable older brother." She smiled at him. Smiling back (Though he knew she couldn't see.), he showed her the stuffed weasel. "This is something my mother made. Sasuke-kun probably annoyed her enough to get her to make it."

"I see. She is very good." They found themselves chatting again, the conversation starting on what kind of havoc Sasuke would probably start and ending on Animagus before the two decided to go to bed.

The following day dawned just as leaden and rainy as the previous one. Itachi and McGonagall had chatted some more until Itachi found himself calling her 'Minerva-san'. Then he ended up explaining the suffixes; -san, -sama, -kun, -chan, -sempai, -sensei, -hime, etc.

Deciding to follow the Gryffindors for the rest of the week, Itachi found himself at Double Charms. Flitwick spent the first fifteen minutes of his lesson lecturing the class on the importance of OWLs.

"What you must remember," said little Flitwick squeakily perched on a pile of books so that he could see over the top of his desk, "is that these examinations may influence your futures for many years to come! If you have not already given serious thought to your careers, now is the time to do so. And in the meantime, I'm afraid, we shall be working harder than ever to ensure that you all do yourselves justice!"

The class then spent over an hour revising Summoning Charms, which according to Professor Flitwick were bound to come up in their OWL, and he rounded off the lesson by setting them a large amount of Charms homework. The next class was Transfiguration. McGonagall and the class found themselves surprised when Itachi bowed and thanked her for providing a chair for him. After that, she too lectured the class on OWLs.

"You cannot pass an OWL," said Professor McGonagall grimly, "without serious application, practice and study. I see no reason why everybody in this class should not achieve an OWL in Transfiguration as long as they put in the work."

Neville made a sad little disbelieving noise.

"Yes, you too, Longbottom," said Professor McGonagall. "There's nothing wrong with your work except lack of confidence. So… today we are starting Vanishing Spells. These are easier than Conjuring Spells, which you would not usually attempt until NEWT level, but they are still among the most difficult magic you will be tested on in your OWL."

She was quite right; most of the class found the Vanishing Spells horribly difficult. By the end of a double period none of the class had managed to vanish the snails on which they were practicing, though Ron said hopefully he thought his looked a bit paler. Hermione, on the other hand, successfully vanished her snail on the third attempt, earning her a ten-point bonus for Gryffindor from Professor McGonagall. She was the only person not given homework; everybody else was told to practice the spell overnight, ready for a fresh attempt on their snails the following afternoon.

During the class, they were surprised to find 'Weasel' and McGonagall chatting about the Vanishing spells and other spells for Transfiguration. McGonagall herself was surprised to find she have been moved up in Itachi's friends list. She was now Minerva-chan. Itachi also felt this was odd. He did not usually make friends easily, though they had all been much older than him (For example, Kakashi was older by eight years). Itachi briefly wondered if McGonagall and him would have become friends if she knew he was thirteen, a child by these people's standards, but pulled himself off the tracks from that train of thought.

Care of Magical Creatures was the next class, after the lunch break. Grubbly-Plank stood waiting for the class some ten yards from a cabin, a long trestle table in front of her laden with twigs. As Itachi reached her, followed by a very annoyed Harry and a confused Ron, a loud shout of laughter sounded behind them; turning, they saw Draco Malfoy striding towards them, surrounded by his usual gang of Slytherin cronies. He had clearly just said something highly amusing, because Crabbe, Goyle, Pansy Parkinson and the rest continued to snigger heartily as they gathered around the trestle table. Itachi narrowed his eyes. It was obviously about his special charge, if their constant glancing at him was any clue. Malfoy was walking towards Itachi, apparently wanting him to join them. The ANBU leaned against a tree and turned to his fellow staff member.

"Everyone here?" barked Grubbly-Plank, before Malfoy and cronies could reach the poor shinobi. "Let's crack to then. Who can tell me what these things are called?"

She indicated the heap of twigs in front of her. Hermione's hand shot into the air. Behind her back, Malfoy did a buck-toothed imitation of her jumping up and down in eagerness to answer a question. Pansy Parkinson gave a shriek of laughter that turned almost at once into a scream, as the twigs on the table leapt into the air and revealed themselves to be what looked like tiny pixie-ish creatures made of wood, each with knobbly brown arms and legs, two twig-like fingers at the end of each hand and a funny flat, bark-like face in which a pair of beetle-brown eyes glittered.

"Oooooh!" said Parvati and Lavender, thoroughly irritating everyone.

"Kindly keep your voices down, girls!" said Grubbly-Plank sharply, scattering a handful of what looked like brown rice among the stick-creatures, who immediately fell upon the food. "So - anyone know the names of these creatures? Miss Granger?"

"Bowtruckles," said Hermione. "They're tree-guardians, usually live in wand-trees."

"Five points for Gryffindor," said Grubbly-Plank. "Yes, these are Bowtruckles, and as Miss Granger rightly says, they generally live in trees whose wood is of wand quality. Anybody know what they eat?"

"Woodlice," said Hermione promptly which explained why what Itachi had taken to be grains of brown rice were moving. "But fairy eggs if they can get them."

"Good girl, take another five points. So, whenever you need leaves or wood from a tree in which a Bowtruckle lodges, it is wise to have a gift of woodlice ready to distract or placate it. They may not look dangerous, but if angered they will try to gouge at human eyes with their fingers, which, as you can see, are very sharp and not at all desirable near the eyeballs. So if you'd like to gather closer, take a few woodlice and a Bowtruckle - I have enough here for one between three - you can study them more closely. I want a sketch from each of you with all body-parts labeled by the end of the lesson."

The class surged forwards around the trestle table. Harry circled around the back so that he ended up right next to Professor Grubbly-Plank.

"Where's Hagrid?" Itachi heard Harry asked her, while everyone else was choosing Bowtruckles.

"Never you mind," said Professor Grubbly-Plank repressively,. Smirking all over his pointed face, Draco Malfoy leaned across Harry and seized the largest Bowtruckle.

"Maybe," said Malfoy in an undertone, so that only Harry could hear him (though Itachi heard. Really, when will these students learn how to whisper?), "the stupid great oaf's got himself badly injured."

"Maybe you will if you don't shut up," said Harry out of the side of his mouth.

"Maybe he's been messing with stuff that's too _big_ for him, if you get my drift."

Malfoy walked away, smirking over his shoulder. Harry hurried back around the table to Ron and Hermione who were squatting on the grass some distance away and attempting to persuade a Bowtruckle to remain still long enough for them to draw it. Harry pulled out parchment and quill, crouched down beside the others and related in a whisper what Malfoy had just said. Itachi listened in.

Students were a great way to get information. Already Itachi had two more scrolls filled with things he was not informed of, this Hagrid person the newest addition. Dumbledore apparently thought Itachi wouldn't notice the missing info. Or perhaps thought Itachi could not be trusted with information. He did not know who was in the Order of the Phoenix nor the whereabouts of their Headquarters.

"Dumbledore would know if some thing had happened to Hagrid," said Hermione, bringing 'Weasel' out of his thoughts. "It's just playing into Malfoy's hands to look worried; it tells him we don't know exactly what's going on. We've got to ignore him, Harry. Here, hold the Bowtruckle for a moment, just so I can draw its face…"

"Yes," came Malfoy's clear drawl from the group nearest them, "Father was talking to the Minister just a couple of days ago, you know, and it sounds as though the Ministry's really determined to crack down on sub-standard teaching in this place. So even if that overgrown moron _does_ show up again, he'll probably be sent packing straightaway."

"OUCH!"

Harry had gripped the Bowtruckle so hard that it had almost snapped, and it had just taken a great retaliatory swipe at his hand with its sharp fingers, leaving two long deep cuts there. Harry dropped it. Crabbe and Goyle, who had already been guffawing at the idea of Hagrid being sacked, laughed still harder as the Bowtruckle set off at full tilt towards the Forest, a little moving stick-man soon swallowed up among the tree roots.

Itachi was interested in the fact that Draco's father knew the Minister. No-one seemed to scoff at the idea, so there must be some truth to it. People in power always seemed to need assistance from shinobi and made good business. They also seemed to get the news out fast. Itachi couldn't help it. And Hokage-sama _had_ told him to be on the lookout for future clients. Whether the client liked it or not, part of Itachi's mission was to look for future clients. 'Weasel' walked over to Malfoy, who didn't seem to notice him.

"Malfoy-san?" Draco jumped, but regained his composer fast.

"Yes?" He drawled, acting annoyed with the interruption. It was all an act. People of power loved to act as though you are a hindrance in their perfect lives. They acted as if they were much better than you, in order to gain more interest. But two could play at that game.

"If I am wasting your time, which judging by the creature in your hands and the unfinished assignment, I probably am, I will go elsewhere for the information."

"N-no! Your not a bother at all! What is it?"

"You say your father is in contact with the Minister, am I correct?"

"Yes. He and Father know each other quite well." Malfoy winced at Crabbe's attempt at drawing a Bowtruckle. Itachi couldn't really blame him. It looked like a deformed squash. Or perhaps it was a self-portrait...?

"Sure. I can introduce you to Father as well."

"That would be... pleasant..."

"I'll get in touch with him and let you know."

"Thank you, Malfoy-san."

"Anytime. Goyle, that is not its head! That's his foot! His foot!"

The bell echoed distantly over the grounds. Itachi watched as Harry rolled up his blood-stained Bowtruckle picture and marched off to Herbology with his hand wrapped in Hermione's handkerchief.

"If he calls Hagrid a moron one more time…" said Harry through gritted teeth.

"Harry, don't go picking a row with Malfoy, don't forget, he's a prefect now, he could make life difficult for you…"

"Wow, I wonder what it'd be like to have a difficult life?" said Harry sarcastically. Ron laughed, but Hermione frowned.

"It is very annoying." Itachi told him, ignoring the sarcasm as he walked past them. Really, could his life be that bad? Then again... Itachi had no clue what had happened before this year in this strange place. He continued walking and paused in a fairly empty spot. Some of the students watched him curiously. Boar-Dog-Bird-Monkey-Ram.

"_Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_ Kyoshiryu shook himself off, as he was covered in water.

"_Great timing! Maryu just rejected me and pushed me into the stream..."_ The dragon looked rather depressed and hung his head. _"She wants a nice, strong dragon. I told you I should get a battle scar. One like Gamabunta's! He's got a nice one! Any chance I could get one this time?"_

"_Maybe if you annoy the students enough. There happen to be some very sharp garden shears in the greenhouses. I need you to watch this next class. Particularly the black-haired boy. The one with the green eyes. Yeah, him. Stay near the one with the blond hair though. I'm trying to get him in my favor."_

"_Right then. Can I talk to them?"_

"_Do you know their language?"_

"_A little." _Kyoshiryu looked over at Draco. _"That one, huh?"_

"_Yes. Now don't go giving anything away about me or where I come from. If you have any false information you tell him, please tell me to avoid mishaps."_

"_Okay. Now get to wherever your going."_

"_Bye." _The black dragon waved his tail in recognition andwalked towards Draco. Itachi disappeared in a poof of smoke.

In the castle, Itachi walked aimlessly around the halls, Sharingan blazing through the holes in his mask. A nearby student made an odd sound and scrambled away when he saw the red. Sighing, the ANBU pulled out a partway finished map of Hogwarts. This was rather boring. There was a splash and Itachi looked down. Water covered the entire hall. Without thinking, Itachi had been walking on the water and now had a very surprised ghost staring at him.

"Um... Hello there..." Thankfully, no fear showed in his voice. The ghost was scary. She continued to stare at him. He stared back. It was silent for a while. _Damn Sharingan! Now I'll never forget this! It's like the time I walked in __on Kaa-san and Tou-san when they were-_

"Hello. Did you know your walking on water?"

"I realize this, yes."

"And that your eyes are red?"

"Er... Yes..."

"Just checking. Why are you here?"

"I was making a map of the school."

"Why?" Really, did she know that look she was giving him was creepy or was she completely unaware?

"To better help my mission..."

"Is your mission dangerous?"

"So far, no. But it could become so. Why, may I ask, are you asking me this?"

"Because, if you die, I'd be glad to share my toilet with you."

"Uh... That's very generous of you... I've got to go now or I'll never finish this map." Itachi bowed to her, so she didn't think he was just trying to get away form her (though he was). "I will see you later, perhaps?"

"Yes... I'll see you later. If you see Harry, tell him I'm waiting for a visit. He promised he would."

"I'll do that."

"Goodbye."

"Bye..." She floated through a wall and Itachi stood still for a minute before releasing the breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. Steeling himself, 'Weasel' walked past where the ghost had been. She didn't reappear, much to his relief and Itachi hurried to the next floor.

He leaned against a wall and drew more onto the map. All was going well until another ghost showed up, going through Itachi to look at his map. Even the self-respecting shinobi couldn't repress the squeak of surprise that came with the cold feeling.

"Wha-What did you do that for!" He said, jumping away, shivering.

"Curiosity, lad. Sir Nickolas if you please. Official ghost of Gryffindor."

"You do realize that your leaning through me is very uncomfortable?"

"Is it? No-one has ever complained before."

"It's like being covered in ice-water on the top of a mountain in _Yuki no Kuni_!"

"I'm sorry, where?"

"I suppose that translates into Snow Country here. The temperature is always below freezing."

"Okay. I'll keep that in mind next time I wish to lean through someone."

"Okay then. Goodbye."

"Goodbye, lad." Itachi poofed away and reappeared on the Astronomy Tower, scaring a couple of students who seemed to be making out.

"Sorry." Itachi looked carefully at the door that led inside, but seemed to think better of it. He jumped of the tower instead. The two students screeched (in the boy's case) and yelped (in the girl's case). The ANBU quickly channeled chakra to his feet and attached himself firmly to the wall.

"_Stupid ghosts and moving staircases... Freaking Peeves and annoying children that are older that I am and yet more immature than Sasuke-kun... I never thought I'd say it, but I would rather be in a family meeting than here on this stupid freaking mission! Why did I accept? Oh yeah! Because I wanted to buy my own apartment when I'm old enough! I could have just waited and done other missions! But nooo! I just had to go for the easy one that happened to have a bunch of brats going on about how superior they are compared to everyone else!" _Itachi continued to rant on to himself. He ignored the frightened looks he got from Trelawney's class when he passed her classroom.

As he reached the ground, Itachi started feeling a little less irritated. _Odd... I don't usually anger over such trivial things such as ghosts leaning through me..._

By the time he reached the ground, Itachi's irritation was nearly gone. That was, until he heard that stupid sickly-sweet voice that made the ANBU wish he was back with the ghosts.

"Hello, Weasel-dear. Would you like to have a cup of tea with me?"

Itachi appeared in a poof of smoke next to McGonagall at the staff table, startling her. Practically radiating irritation, he sat down and decided to try some English food, a Shepard's pie and treacle tart. He did not use chopsticks this time, attempting (with little success) to eat with a fork. McGonagall attempted to teach him how.

At five to five Harry bade the other two goodbye and set off for Umbridge's office on the third floor, unknowingly followed by 'Weasel,' who was there on Dumbledore's orders. When Harry knocked on the door she called, "Come in," in a sugary voice that made Itachi want to puke. The sensation was doubled as he recalled his tea with her. Not that he drank any. Her plant was probably going to die from whatever she slipped in his drink though.

When Harry opened the door, entering cautiously and looking around, Itachi snuck in unnoticed. The room was _horrible_! The surfaces had all been draped in lacy covers and cloths. There were several vases full of dried flowers, each one residing on its own doily, and on one of the walls was a collection of ornamental plates, each decorated with a large technicolor kitten wearing a different bow around its neck. Itachi stared at them. Why did he have to come back into this room _again_? Tearing his eyes away from the evil kittens, Itachi hung onto the ceiling and watched the scene below him.

"Good evening, Mr. Potter."

Harry started and looked around. Umbridge was wearing a luridly flowered set of robes that blended only too well with the tablecloth on the desk behind her.

"Evening, Professor Umbridge," Harry said stiffly.

"Sit down," she said, pointing towards a small table draped in lace beside which she had drawn up a straight-backed chair. A piece of blank parchment lay on the table, apparently waiting for the boy.

"Er," said Harry, without moving. "Professor Umbridge. Er - before we start, I - I wanted to ask you a… a favor."

Her bulging eyes narrowed. Itachi mentally snorted. When pigs fly... Wait... Could Umbridge be charmed to fly? How about, 'When Jiraiya became the Pope?' instead?

"Oh, yes?"

"Well, I'm… I'm in the Gryffindor Quidditch team. And I was supposed to be at the tryouts for the new Keeper at five o'clock on Friday and I was - was wondering whether I could skip detention that night and do it - do it another night instead…"

He knew long before he reached the end of his sentence that it was no good.

"Oh, no," said Umbridge, smiling so widely that she looked as though she had just swallowed a particularly juicy fly. "Oh, no, no, no. This is your punishment for spreading evil, nasty, attention-seeking stories, Mr. Potter, and punishments certainly cannot be adjusted to suit the guilty one's convenience. No, you will come here at five o'clock tomorrow, and the next day, and on Friday too, and you will do your detentions as planned. I think it rather a good thing that you are missing something you really want to do. It ought to reinforce the lesson I am trying to teach you."

She was watching him with her head slightly to one side, still smiling widely, as though she knew exactly what he was thinking and was waiting to see whether he would start shouting again. With what looked to be a massive effort, Harry looked away from her, dropped his schoolbag beside the straight-backed chair and sat down.

"There," said Umbridge sweetly, "we're getting better at controlling our temper already, aren't we? Now, you are going to be doing some lines for me, Mr. Potter. No, not with your quill," she added, as Harry bent down to open his bag. "You're going to be using a rather _special_ one of mine. Here you are."

She handed him a long, thin black quill with an very sharp point.

"I want you to write, / _must not tell lies_," she told him softly.

"How many times?" Harry asked, with a creditable imitation of politeness.

"Oh, as long as it takes for the message to _sink in_," said Umbridge sweetly. "Off you go."

She moved over to her desk, sat down and bent over a stack of parchment that looked like essays for marking. Harry raised the sharp black quill, then realized what was missing.

"You haven't given me any ink," he said.

"Oh, you won't need ink," said Professor Umbridge, with the merest suggestion of a laugh in her voice. Itachi narrowed his eyes, the way she said it made him suspicious.

Harry placed the point of the quill on the paper and wrote: / _must not tell lies_.

He let out a gasp of pain. The words had appeared on the parchment in what appeared to be shining red ink. At the same time, the words had appeared on the back of Harry's right hand, cut into his skin as though traced there by a scalpel - yet even as he stared at the shining cut, the skin healed over again, leaving the place where it had been slightly redder than before but quite smooth. It looked like something Itachi's old Academy teacher would have _loved_. Ibiki would probably like it too, though he would more than likely try to find away to stop the healing. It wouldn't be very effective against a ninja, though it would make a good substitute kunai, but the blood loss after hours of writing without healing would be enough. That and a sore hand. Itachi thought the blood loss would be more effective though. Getting a Nara to do _Kage Buyou no Jutsu _on the captive would fix any resistance.

Harry looked round at Umbridge. She was watching him, her wide, toad-like mouth stretched in a smile.

"Yes?"

"Nothing," said Harry quietly. Itachi nodded to himself. At least this taught him something, even if staying in the shadows (Dumbledore's orders) was somewhat against the contract of protecting the students. There were clearly wounds on the boy's hand. Killing Umbitc- er... Umbridge was also against the contract, wasn't it? Crap... Oh well... One could dream.

Harry looked back at the parchment, placed the quill on it once more, wrote I must not _tell lies_, once again, the words had been cut into his skin and, once again, they healed over seconds later. Itachi watched with mild interest. '_I wonder where she got that quill... I could get one to give to my father... Tell him it's so he never runs out of ink... Then again... They might have brushes that do the same thing. Writing with the feather of a bird is rather strange...'_ Itachi glanced at the Potter boy.

Again and again he wrote the words on the parchment in his own blood. And, again and again, the words were cut into the back of his hand, healed, and reappeared the next time he set quill to parchment. '_That would be an interesting, abide painful, way to give yourself a tattoo... If you do it enough...' _

Darkness fell outside. Boredom was starting to set in for ANBU 'Weasel.' The room was silent except for the scratch of the quill and the two's breathing. Itachi simply hung from the roof, daydreaming of his home and wondering what Sasuke and Kakashi were doing. The weekend seemed to be very far away now. Rather depressed, Itachi changed his train of thought to different rail, heading for the direction of ways to torment Umbridge. He could trick her into thinking one of her plates was a giant spider with genjutsu. Or maybe toss her in a bucket of fish and then toss her to the squid.

"Come here," Umbridge said finally.

Harry stood up. When Itachi looked down at the boy's hand he saw that the cut had healed, but that the skin there was red raw. Umbridge seemed to not want evidence.

"Hand," she said.

He extended it. She took it in her own. Harry seemed to repress a shudder as she touched him with her thick, stubby fingers on which she wore a number of ugly old rings.

"Tut, tut, I don't seem to have made much of an impression yet," she said, smiling. "Well, we'll just have to try again tomorrow evening, won't we? You may go."

Harry left her office without a word. The school was quite deserted; it was surely past midnight. He walked slowly up the corridor, then, when he had turned the corner and was sure she would not hear him, broke into a run. Itachi kept up with him easily, running on the ceiling above him.

Harry had not had time to practice Vanishing Spells, had not written a single dream in his dream diary, had not finished the drawing of the Bowtruckle, nor had he written his essays. He skipped breakfast next morning to scribble down a couple of made-up dreams for Divination, his first lesson, and was surprised to find a disheveled Ron keeping him company. Itachi was once again watching the boy. He was told to watch the boy even more closely until the detentions stopped and to give any help necessary. Homework did not count.

"How come you didn't do it last night?" Harry asked, as Ron stared wildly around the common room for inspiration, thankfully not looking above them. Ron, who had been fast asleep when Harry got back to the dormitory, muttered something about "doing other stuff," before bending low over his parchment and scrawling a few words.

"That'll have to do," he said, slamming the diary shut. "I've said I dreamed I was buying a new pair of shoes, she can't make anything weird out of that, can she?"

They hurried off to North Tower together, Itachi above them.

"How was detention with Umbridge, anyway? What did she make you do?"

Harry hesitated for a fraction of a second, then said, "Lines."

"That's not too bad, then, eh?" said Ron.

"Nope," said Harry.

"Hey - I forgot - did she let you off for Friday?"

"No," said Harry.

Ron groaned sympathetically.

Harry was one of the worst in Transfiguration, not having practiced Vanishing Spells at all. He gave up his lunch hour to complete the picture of the Bowtruckle ('conveniently' seeing Itachi, who shared his own lunch. Harry did not ask why Itachi was in the library or how Madam Pince did not notice the food) and, meanwhile, Professors McGonagall, Grubbly-Plank and Sinistra gave the students yet more homework, which Harry had no prospect of finishing that evening because of his second detention with Umbridge. Angelina Johnson tracked the poor boy down at dinner and, on learning that he would not be able to attend Friday's Keeper tryouts, told him she was not at all impressed by his attitude and that she expected players who wished to remain on the team to put training before their other commitments.

"I'm in detention!" Harry yelled after her as she stalked away. "D'you think I'd rather be stuck in a room with that old toad or playing Quidditch?"

"At least it's only lines," said Hermione consolingly, as Harry sank back on to his bench and looked down at his steak and kidney pie. "It's not as if it's a dreadful punishment, really…"

Harry opened his mouth, closed it again and nodded. Itachi watched them and listened in from the staff table, where nobody would guess he could hear them.

"I can't believe how much homework we've got," said Ron miserably.

"Well, why didn't you do any last night?" Hermione asked him. "Where were you, anyway?"

"I was… I fancied a walk," said Ron shiftily. Itachi stopped listening after that. He had seen the boy practicing the sport 'Quidditch' from the window during Harry's detention. Though there was no reason for him to hide the fact.

The second detention was just as boring. The ANBU was glad he brought paper to doodle on. The skin on the back of Harry's hand became irritated more quickly now, and was soon red and inflamed. Itachi thought it would be unlikely that it would keep healing as effectively for long. Soon the cut would remain etched into the boy's hand and Umbridge would, perhaps, be satisfied. Once again, the only sound was of the quill. Itachi made sure his own brush strokes were covered up by the noise. It was good practice. The finished painting was of a garden in the Hyuuga compound. Itachi thought most of Hyuuga were stuck up but, he had to admit, they had very nice gardens, complete with streams, _bonsai_, regular trees, and many beautiful flowers. Absorbed in his painting, he almost didn't notice his ink dripping in time to stop it. Almost.

After sprinkling sand on the ink to dry it faster, Itachi rolled up his painting and put it away. He watched, bored, as Umbridge tried to look busy by reshuffling papers and reorganizing her desk. That was when he caught sight of a paper from the Magical Minister. Apparently, Umbridge was to gain Itachi's trust and find where his homeland was. The Minister suspected there might be riches in the lands, along with people to hire, unoccupied land, resources, and new creatures. In fact, he suspected Itachi was not even human (thus why he wore a mask). 'Weasel' mentally snorted, Umbridge was not doing a very good job of gaining his trust and he was defiantly human. Thinking back to his brother, Itachi scowled. There was no way he'd let these Ministry people get anywhere near his brother. Using Sharingan, Itachi memorized the letter. Finally, Harry's detention was over and Itachi followed him out the door. Running on the roof, the shinobi made it to his room in no time, ready for sleep. He'd need it. Sasuke was visiting tomorrow.

"_Aniki!"_ Itachi turned around just in time to see who tackled him to the ground.

"_Hello, Otouto."_

"_Aniki! Aniki! Inu-nii-chan is here too! He brought me on this thing he called a train! It was huge! An there were sweets and the lady brought me some tomatoes! I don't know how she knew that I like tomatoes, I think Inu-nii-chan told her. The tomatoes were really good and I brought you some pocky but I ate it on the way here! Why is this place so big? Did you know the paintings move? And there are ghosts! They were scary! Hey, I learned a new jutsu! You got to see it and we can train and then we can play! We could probably eat loads of sweets cause Kaa-san and Tou-san aren't here and-" _

Sasuke continued to babble at high speeds that shouldn't be possible. Only Itachi would be able to decipher what even his own parents couldn't. Many students stopped and stared at the two. How did some hyper little kid manage to tackle the guard? They thought he was supposed to be professional!

"_Ano... Sasuke-kun?" _Itachi said.

"_Huh?"_

"_Could you let me get up?"_

"_No."_

"_..." _Sasuke grinned at him. He was defiantly up to something. And Itachi knew exactly what it was.

"_I'll carry you."_

"_Okay!"_ Sasuke off his poor older brother and held up his arms. Itachi shook his head and picked up his Otouto and shifted him onto his back.

"_Your an evil little imp. I just thought you might want to know that."_

"_Aw! Thank you! I love you too!"_

"_..." _Itachi looked over his shoulder at the six year old.

"_Aniki?"_

"_Hm?"_

"_Why are you still wearing your mask?" _Sasuke pointed at his own face, which was mask-less.

"_Even if your visiting, I'm still on my mission. That means I have to wear it when in public."_

"_Oh. Do you think that they think we're related?"_

"_If they can't guess, they aren't too smart..."_

"_Why are they all talking funny?"_

"_They're talking in their own language. It's much different than ours."_

"_They have a different language?"_ Sasuke's eyes seemed to pop out of his head.

"_I can try to teach it to you, if you would like. It would be easier if you had Sharingan, but we can try it."_

"_Oh! I unlocked my Sharingan!"_

"_Really? How? What happened?"_

"_Oh..." _Sasuke didn't look him in the eye. _"It was during a fight at school..."_

"_A fight? Why was there a fight?"_

"_Ummm... Well... You see... Uh... They were being mean and calling me a brat and said all Uchiha were worthless and stuck-up and all and I told them to shut up... and... the big one pushed me... and said that my big shot brother wasn't there to protect me and I should just run home and cry to my Kaa-chan... and I hit him... And then they ganged up on me..."_

"_I see."_

"_Yeah..."_

"_In that case, I can just let you read the book with your Sharingan on and you'll be a pro in no time." _Itachi smiled at Sasuke. The boy was nervous, he could see that much. To activate his Sharingan... those boys must have beat him bad. _"Just one thing though." _Sasuke stiffened. The poor boy probably expected to be scolded. But Itachi was not his father. He knew there would _always_ be someone stronger than you, and Sasuke wasn't even a genin yet. Plus there was more than one boy, it wasn't a fair fight. _"Were those boys Hyuuga?" _Sasuke relaxed and nodded.

"_Yeah..." _The raven haired boy ducked his head.

"_Okay then. When I get back, we'll get back at them."_

"_How?"_

"_I don't know. Perhaps we can get Inu-sempai to help us..." _Sasuke grinned._ "I need your guys help anyway to prank someone. Well talk about it then."_

"_Prank?"_

"_Yeah, like that Naruto boy in your class, but on a smaller scale."_

"_I never thought the all-mighty Itachi of ANBU would sink so low as to _prank _someone."_

"_I'm insulted! I may be ANBU, but I am still only thirteen years old! We all sink so low as to prank people! Only we Uchiha do it so nobody can figure out who it was and do much more damage." _Itachi smiled back at his little brother, looking over his shoulder again. Sasuke knew what his expressions were behind the mask. Itachi never could figure out how, though. Not that he would admit that.

"_Yo."_ Kakashi poofed in front of them, startling a nearby student enough to make her scream. He was wearing his dog mask and reading his perverted orange book.

"_Not even in Konoha and you still manged to be late and have that perverted little book out... Do you really think you should be reading that in front of the children, Inu-sempai?" _Kakashi looked around.

"_When did they get here?"_

"_They've been here... Inu-sempai, did you make it to ANBU by accident? What kind of shinobi doesn't notice a bunch of noisy children everywhere? Especially since one of them screamed when you appeared."_

"_Ne? It was no accident, I was just absorbed in this magnificent novel. Besides, they can't read it anyway, it's in our language..."_

"_Magnificent novel..." _Itachi said doubtfully. _"That smut is nowhere near magnificent..."_

"_Inu-nii-chan's a pervert..." _Sasuke giggled and shook his head. _"A late pervert... What was it this time? Did you have to save another drowning fish or something?"_

"_No, I had to inform the Headmaster that Weasel's brother and I had arrived."_

"_... And you were reading your perverted book too, weren't you?" _Itachi asked.

"_That too." _The very strange conversation was interrupted by the Golden Trio walking up to them.

"Hey, Weasel. Who are these people?"

"Ah. Hello Potter-san, Weasley-san, Granger-san. This is Dog-sempai and Sasuke-kun. Dog-sempai is a friend and Sasuke-kun is my little brother." Itachi smiled as he looked back at Sasuke, who's mouth was gaping at the newcomers.

"_Otouto, it is very rude to stare at people with your mouth hanging open like that." _Sasuke blinked down at him and closed his mouth.

"_She's beautiful, Aniki! And his hair is such a neat color! I've never seen a shade like that! It's almost orange! That can't be natural, can it, Aniki? Can I touch it?"_ This caused Itachi to laugh, startling the students around them. 'Weasel' never _laughed_. Who was this little boy? What was his secret?

"What did he say?" Asked Harry.

"He wishes to know if Weasley-san's hair is natural. He wishes to touch it." Ron nodded.

"Yeah, it's natural. I don't care if he touches it..." Itachi relayed the message to Sasuke who leaned down and touched the hair. He turned quickly pulled back and turned to his Aniki.

"_Aniki! It's not hot! I thought it would be, cause' it's the color of fire, but it's not! Touch it!"_

"_Er... No, thanks... I believe you. _He also thinks Hermione is beautiful." Hermione blushed and there was a scoff behind them.

"That Mudblood? Beautiful? Compared to what? A donkey?" Malfoy said, making Crabbe and Goyle laugh.

"That is not very polite, Malfoy-san." Said Itachi softly. Sasuke looked at the newcomer, it was not often in their country to see people with such colorful hair, excluding Naruto and the Legendary Sennin, Tsunade. But Sasuke hadn't ever seen Tsunade and Naruto's hair wasn't this shade.

"Er... Sorry." He did not sound very sorry at all. Itachi looked back to Sasuke when he felt a slight tug on his ponytail.

"_Why are his eyes gray? Is he related to Inu-nii-chan?" _Kakashi looked up from his book and stared at Malfoy for a few seconds before returning his eyes back to his precious.

"_Nope. I'm the last of my family, and there's no way that gaki is related to me."_ Sasuke laughed.

"_Inu-nii-chan! That's not nice!"_

"_He's not nice. He just insulted the girl you just called beautiful." _Sasuke's eyes widened before he wriggled off his brother's back. He walked over to Hermione and stood in front of her protectively. Then, he crossed his arms, scowled, and looked anything but intimidating.

"_Don't be mean to her or I'll beat you up like you wouldn't believe!" _He stuck out his tongue and glared.

"Uh... What did he say?" Malfoy asked.

"He told you not to make fun of her or he''ll beat you up. _Which you can't do. It's part of my mission to protect __them." _Itachi told Sasuke sternly. _"No matter how much fun it might sound."_ He added. Sasuke looked down and shuffled his feet.

"_I wouldn't hurt him _too_ bad, I promise! I would just rough him up a little!"_ He punched the air to prove his point.

"_No, Sasuke."_ Sasuke stuck out his tongue at his Aniki and ran behind Kakashi, who was smiling behind his own mask.

"What did you tell him?" Apparently, the conversation between the two brothers was interesting enough to make the Golden Trio and the Slytherins forget about hating each other. This must be the Twilight Zone...

"He wanted to rough up Malfoy-san a little to prove his point, but I told him that would interfere with my mission to protect the students." Sasuke walked back up to Itachi slowly, trying to decide if it was safe or not. He decided it was.

"_Up." _Sasuke demanded, lifting his arms up to have Itachi put him back on his back. Sasuke pointed down the hall.

"_To the kitchens, Aniki!" _He said, trying to sound serious and failing miserably. Itachi rolled his eyes.

"_Do I look like a horse to you?" _Itachi asked, giving his Otouto a half-heart glare through his mask.

"_Yes, now giddy-up."_

"_Fine, fine. _I will see you guys later. Sasuke-kun is hungry from his trip._"_

"_Ah, yes. Before we do that..." _Kakashi trailed off and put his book away. Then he pulled out a small kit. _"Vaccines. For European diseases. I have one for you, Sasuke, and myself..." _

"_..."_

"_Aniki?" _Sasuke whispered, looking at the kit with distaste.

"_Yes, Sasuke-kun?"_

"_Shots."_

"_Right."_

"_Aniki?"_

"_Hn?"_

"_Run."_

"_Sasuke-kun..."_

"_No, Sasuke. You need the shots." _Kakashi sighed.

"_Not-uh! We're just fine without them, Inu-nii-chan!"_

"_He's right, Sasuke-kun... We do not want to become ill."_

"_We won't! Aniki! Those needles are twice the size of senbon!"_

"_I know. Really, it won't hurt for long. You'll get worse on missions."_

"_I don't care! Run, Aniki!"_ Itachi sighed.

"_Sasuke-kun... I'll go first, but you are getting the vaccine. _See you later, Potter-san, Malfoy-san, Weasley-san, Granger-san. _Inu-sempai, I will show you to my room. We can take the shots there."_

So? What do you think? Review please!

Japanese Randomness!

_Japanese Season Words _( thanks to http: /renku. home. att. net /500ESWd. html# SPRING)

It will probably be a while for the next chapter, sorry. The reason this one is up so soon is because I had to cut chapter one in half so it wouldn't be too long. Read and Review please!


	4. Chapter 4

Special Thanks to-

**Eikyuu-Chan, xXxJaycee81196xXx, actionliker, epitome of impressed, Maria, Eipok, spirituallyinsane, Lady_Kainan_Uchiha, Katsheswims, XxxXXLuciXXxXX, ColorfulDesert, Andrea Perrigo, MadnessLover, Lvmj, sunakolllx, Kyuubi's Vixen, and ChocolateBunnyChan**

- For Your Wonderful Reviews!

-A note for you guys. In this fic, the transformation jutsu actually transforms the shinobi, it does not just create an illusion.

"_Sasuke-kun! Come back here! What kind of shinobi runs from a shot?" _Itachi skidded past some students and ran after the young ninja-in-training. Sasuke glanced back at him, and ran into a crowd of students before transforming into a mouse. His ANBU brother was not fooled, nor was he very amused (or was he?). Itachi followed the boy-transformed-mouse into an empty classroom.

Sasuke was frozen on the floor, next to one of the desk legs and an old quill. Itachi walked up quietly and grabbed at him, but the mouse soon became a dragon-fly and was soaring over his head. His brother watched from the ground. It was only a matter of time before-

BAM!

-Sasuke got air-sick and transformed back. Really, the boy knew he could only stay air-born for a matter of seconds, so why did he never find a place to land? Itachi kneeled down and flung his brother over his shoulder. Sasuke's head faced behind him, as Itachi had learned from past experiences that when little brothers bit you on the ear, the bit hard and were almost impossible to get off.

Children stared at the two as they walked past, Sasuke pouting and Itachi simply staring in front of himself as to not trip or run into anything.

That was until Sasuke pulled Itachi's ponytail, held on tight, and squirmed out of his grip. This resulted with Itachi on the ground, Sasuke running, Itachi's hairband and a chunk of hair with it in hand, and some students laughing hysterically.

"_Sasuke-kun! You better run as fast as those legs can carry you!"_ The ANBU yelled after him, getting up. Sasuke squeaked and followed his advice. He had only seen Itachi seriously angry twice.

Once had been when his father had hit Sasuke for coloring, which apparently was not what five-year old Uchiha did. Itachi had yelled at their father. He was sent to bed without lunch or dinner, but their father's important scrolls had been mysteriously destroyed by a fire in the night. The fire which destroyed them had not spread anywhere through the rest of the manor, staying only in their father's study.

The other had also involved his pony-tail. When he was four, Shisui (Itachi's best friend) had snuck up on Itachi, who had been taking a nap on his futon (Sasuke had cuddled up with him), and cut off the hair with a kunai. Sasuke had woken by the two's duel not two seconds after.

But what confused him was how his brother had addressed him this time. What kind of angry person adds 'kun' to the name of the person they seemed to be about to murder? The young boy snuck a glance behind him. There wasn't time to register the absence of Itachi behind him before he ran- quite literally- into a familiar looking, red-haired boy and his group. Quickly, before they had time to think about it, he hugged Hermione around the waist and started babbling.

"_Aniki's going to get me if you don't help me quickly! I think I made him really made when I did this." _He held out the hairband and the chunk of hair to the black-haired boy with the scar. Hermione stroked Sasuke's hair absent-mindfully as she examined the object in Harry's hand.

"I think he pulled out Weasel's hair."

"Gee, 'Mione, you think?"

"Oh, shut up, Ronald."

"Stop, you two. We should be wondering what Weasel did to make Sasuke pull out his hair and run in fright." Harry said, glancing at the boy hugging Hermione. They were unaware that 'Weasel' was watching them from above, quietly planning on how to get Sasuke away from them without hurting anyone.

"Well, I think it's a bit obvious why he was running in fear. Pulling his brother's hair out, especially since his brother's an An-boo or whatever, which he said was a high rank, is a good reason to scram." Ron said.

"Yeah, probably. But why did he pull out his brother's hair in the first place?"

"It might be from the case that Dog had." Said Hermione, still stroking Sasuke's head like a cat. "It looked to be a medical kit, though it was a little bigger and I didn't recognize the symbol. They are from a different country, after all, and are most likely not immune to any of our diseases." This caused Ron to burst out laughing.

"I-Imagine Weasel with dragon pocks!" Harry started laughing with him.

"I would not appreciate Sasuke-kun being ill, and if he does not come and get his vaccine then he will get sick. _Now, Sasuke-kun, if you do not come and get the shots, then I'm going to have to send you home." _Itachi said, looking down at his brother. His long hair was hanging around his face and it made him look less intimidating.

After taking the hairband from Harry, he stared at it, and picked up the chunk of hair with his free hand. He then felt the back of his head. Sasuke and the Golden Trio saw his eyes go wide as he felt the spot that was missing.

"_S-Sasuke-kun... You ripped out my hair..." _Sasuke walked up to his brother and gave him a hug, as if this would fix everything.

"_I didn't mean to, Aniki. It just happened..."_ Sasuke took the hairband from Itachi and put up his brother's hair. _"There. You can't even tell the difference."_

"_... You still have to get the shots."_

"_... I thought you might say that... Bye!" _Sasuke fled down the corridor, followed closely by Itachi.

"_Get back here, Sasuke-kun!"_ The Golden Trio was left behind to wander when the guard had started acting more like a human and less like a robot (even if Ron didn't know what a robot was).

"_Aniki, no! Let me go! Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with pocky on top? Pretty-"_

"_Sasuke-kun..."_

"_-your chores for all eternity-"_

"_Sasuke-kun..."_

"_-and sharpen your kunai-"_

"_..."_

"_-train harder than ever-"_

"..." Itachi stared at the little boy under his arm.

"_He does realize he's already been given the shot, doesn't he?" _Kakashi asked. Itachi shook his head and continued to listen to the small boy.

"_Okay, Sasuke-kun. I accept your conditions. Now stay."_ The raven-haired boy beamed at his brother, who set him down and held out his arm for the shot. The needle was huge and Itachi glared at it, but let Kakashi inject the evil liquid into his arm.

As soon as the needle was out, Sasuke jumped on Itachi's back.

"_Food, Aniki!"_ The ANBU sighed. This was going to be an interesting weekend.

-::-

"_Kitchens."_

"_Yay!"_ Itachi stopped in front of a painting of fruit. Sasuke looked around.

"_Where's the food?"_ Itachi glanced up at him before walking up to the painting.

"_Scratch the pear."_

"_Why?"_

"_Just try it."_ Looking wary, Sasuke reached out and scratched the pear gently. He pulled away at a speed their father would be proud of when the pear giggled.

"_What the heck?" _He reached out again and tickled it, amused. The painting opened and Itachi walked it with Sasuke staring wide-eyed at the painting. Kakashi followed them closely. If there were giggling pear paintings, who knew what other dangers awaited them...

They were greeted by many odd creatures.

**Gah... Short chapter... I figured that people might get annoyed that I haven't updated, so I decided to post what I've come up with in the weeks of writers block. Maybe it will inspire some ideas from you guys... Sorry! I know it probably doesn't help much and someone more than likely wants my head on a pike...**


	5. Chapter 5

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**-for all of your reviews. ^.^**

**I don't know if I mentioned this but someone pulled it up and I wanted to clarify; No yaoi.**

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**Enjoy!**

-

Sasuke stared. And stared. The creatures before them stared back. It was clear that they had never seen such weirdly dressed people before. And we can't forget that people with masks are hardly trusted since the Death Eaters arrived.

"Er.... Hello. I am Weasel. This is my brother and my comrade, Sasuke-kun and Dog-san. Um... Sasuke-kun is hungry and Dumbledore-san informed me of where to get food when in need of it. So is there anything you can do to help? It would be much appreciated." Itachi said.

Almost at once all the creatures started doing what they had been doing before. All with the exception of one. The strange, deformed, imp-like thing bowed and motioned for them to follow him.

"Hello, I is called Dobby. I is working at Hogwarts. Is there anything special you sirs request? Any favorites Dobby can get for you?" The creature- now dubbed Dobby- led them to some small chairs at the back of the kitchen. A shape in the corner shifted and whimpered quietly. "Please pay no mind to Winky, sirs. Winky is not getting used to being free, see. It had been over a year but Winky still cries for her master."

Itachi nodded and sat down. Sasuke climbed onto his Aniki's lap. The older Uchiha's wound complained slightly, but he paid it no mind.

"Do you have any food that includes tomatoes? They are Sasuke-kun's favorites?" Dobby nodded, making his ears flap.

"Of course, sir. Is there anything Dachshund would like?"

"Did you just call him dachshund?"

"Yes, sir. Is that not what you told Dobby his name was?"

"Er... I said Dog-san. His name is Dog, but it is polite to add san to the end."

"Dobby sees, sir. Dobby apologizes for Dobby's mistake."

"It is alright. _Inu-sempai, would you like anything to eat?_" Itachi asked. Kakashi eye-smiled through the eye-hole in his mask.

"_I do understand English, you know. _No, Dobby-san, I am not very hungry. By the way, would you care to tell us what kind of being you are?" Kakashi said, while he looked at all the odd hats that looked ready to topple off the creature's head.

"Dobby is a house elf, sir. But Dobby is a free house elf, not like the others. Dobby gets paid!" Dobby looked greatly excited about this fact, so Itachi and Kakashi congratulated him while he sped off to get Sasuke some food.

"_Aniki? What was that?"_ Sasuke asked, bending his head back to look at his older brother.

"_That was Dobby the house elf, Sasuke-kun. We need to get you to learn Eng- What are you doing?"_

Sasuke was untying Itachi's haiti from his arm. He pulled it off and tied it to his head- upside-down.

"_Hehe! Look, Aniki! I'm a shinobi, just like you!"_ Itachi smiled softly, and untied the haiti. He flipped it over and tied it back on his brother's head.

"_Now you are a shinobi, Otouto-san_._ And as a shinobi, you must learn English. We will start now, while we wait for your food. Activate your Sharingan."_ Sasuke pouted and stuck out his tongue, but otherwise obeyed. Soon Sasuke was struggling to learn the English language from Itachi's pocket dictionary. Kakashi pulled out his own book and watched the two.

"Adultery..... _Aniki, what's a _adultery_?_"Sasuke asked, pointing at a word in the book. Itachi blanched.

"_That word is not important. Ignore it and go to the next."_

"_Alright.... _adumbrate.... _Aniki, what's a _adumbrate_?"_ Itachi sighed. This was going to take a while.

While Itachi explained words to his little brother, Dobby returned with a plate of noodles covered in red sauce and rolled up chunks of beef. This took Sasuke's mind of learning and onto his stomach.

"Dobby-san? What...... um...... is food?"

"Um... Food is what is eaten to keep stomachs from not rumbling." Dobby answered, giving the boy an odd look.

"Sorry, Dobby-san. I am teaching Sasuke-kun English. What I believe he means is: What kind of food is this? We have never seen anything like it." Itachi explained, mentally sweat-dropping, as ANBU captains do not physically sweat-drop.

"Oh. Dobby gets it. This is spaghetti. It has tomato sauce over it and rolled up meat to accompany it."

"_It's got tomatoes." _Itachi elaborated for Sasuke. That was enough. Sasuke attempted a bow from his seat on his brother's lap and took the plate Dobby offered.

"_Itadakimasu!"_ He ate slowly at first, still wary of the noodles despite Itachi's assurance that it contained tomatoes. The raven-haired boy ate faster once he found he liked it. Dobby looked delighted that he had found something Sasuke liked.

"Dobby must get back to work, sirs. Sirs can call if they need anything from Dobby." He bowed quickly and went back to his job. The trio of ninja (and ninja in training) stayed until Sasuke was done eating before thanking Dobby (it didn't take long to find the tower of hats amongst the house elves) and leaving.

Sasuke rode piggy-back on Itachi, staring at everything they passed and pointing at random objects and students. He was fidgeting enough to give 'Weasel' a backache. Kakashi eventually got bored of this.

"_Itachi-san, I believe I will go outside to explore. There seems to be a massive lake on the grounds. Would you care to join me?" _Kakashi snapped his book shut, having finished it(for the hundredth time at least).

"_Sure, Inu-sempai. That would be nice. Sasuke-kun can run around as well." _Itachi was eternally grateful to Kakashi for the idea. Though he was sure Kakashi had not suggested it for his sake. They managed to startle several students when they were replaced by leaves, but didn't really care.

-

Itachi set his little brother on the ground and watched him speed off. Sasuke searched every tree, turned over every rock, and looked over the edge of the lake in amazement. He was apparently chasing a lizard that could run on water. Interesting.

"_Any new missions lately, besides escorting Sasuke-kun?"_

"_Not any good ones. Went on a mission to Mist... Apparently, some ninja tried to assassinate the Mizukage. It was one of our missing-nin. Not a high-ranking one. The guards killed him easily. Had to try and patch that up. It wasn't much of a job... Other than that, no. Anything interesting here?"_

"_Not really. Unless you count me wanting to attack one of the teachers and achieving a horrible dislike for wizarding children."_

"_Many of these children are older than you."_

"_That is besides the point. It is highly unlikely that I'll get a scratch on this mission, much less any wounds like the one on my stomach, it's very easy. These wizards could hardly take on Sasuke-kun. Their spells are very slow."_

"_Speaking of that, have you been changing your bandages every few days, Itachi-san?"_ Kakashi asked, peering closely at the thirteen-year old. Itachi winced. Oops.

"_Er.... Um...."_

"_Itachi-san, you need to take care of yourself. It's going to get infected at this rate." _Kakashi sighed. _"Sasuke-kun, could you come here for a moment and help me hold down your brother? We need to change his bandages!"_

Sasuke was there in no time. It would seem he was excited to be able to have a reason to jump his brother.

"_You don't need to hold me down! I can change my own bandages, you know! I just haven't remembered to..."_

"_Alright, then. You need to change them now. But before that, you need to clean the wound. Come on, off we get." _Kakashi said, picking up Sasuke and slinging him over his shoulder. He walked to the castle, motioning for Itachi to take the lead. Itachi sighed quietly, but complied. They were in his room in a matter of minutes.

-

"_It's not tight enough."_

"_It is too."_

"_Nope. You need to make it tighter."_

"_It is perfectly fine."_

"_Aniki, I think you need to listen to Inu-nii-chan. He is older than you and must know because old people know these things." _Sasuke said, taking a sip of his drink. Kakashi glared at him.

"_Hey, I am not old!"_

"_Are too."_

"_Am not."_

"_Are too." _

"_Am not."_

"_Are t-"_

"_Enough you two! What are you, toddlers?" _Itachi said while he tightened the bandages around his waist. The wound was slightly red around the edges, but Itachi thought it was most likely because Sasuke spilled his fruit juice on his bandages before he unwrapped them. It was bound to irritate it a little, wasn't it?

"_He started it."_

"_I did not, you little brat!"_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_Not-uh."_

"_Uh-huh."_

"_Not-"_

"_Stop! Geez. Why do you say that Inu-sempai is old, Sasuke-kun? He's not that old." _The bandage pressed into Itachi's side, making him wince and unwind it a little.

"_He's got white hair."_

"_It's _silver_ not _white_! And I was born with it this way! It was the same when I was your age!"_

"_You were never my age, you've always been old!"_

"_I'm not old and I was your age at one point in time!"_

"_When Kyuubi was born maybe."_

"_Grrr.... Why you little- I'm twenty-four!"_

"_Is that all? Dang, Inu-sempai, you're young!"_

"_............... Are you two done now?"_ Itachi asked, sitting cross-legged in front of the two. His bandages were clean and he was sipping some green tea. He watched Kakashi glare at the surprised-looking Sasuke. The little ninja-in-training was staring at the Copy-Cat Ninja with his mouth wide open.

"_I told you I wasn't old." _Kakashi huffed, crossing his arms.

"_I've never seen your face! Heck, I've never even heard your real name! How was I supposed to know?" _Sasuke turned his surprised look into one of annoyance. Itachi wished he had a camera. This was a Kodak moment... Whatever a Kodak was.

"_Well, you could have trusted my word." _Kakashi said, adjusting his mask to make sure it covered his whole face, as if Sasuke's comment had made him self-conscious.

"_Your hair says otherwise. I was trusting its word." _The raven-haired six year old said, taking a sip of his fruit juice.

"_My hair doesn't speak."_

"_It doesn't have to. The color says it all. White means old. Have you ever seen Hokage-sama's hair?"_

"_No, he always wears his hat. I've never seen him without it." _This made Itachi pause and stare off into space. Had _he_ ever seen the Hokage with his hat off? His attention wavered for a minute. He was lost for a moment when he tuned back into the conversation. He took a sip of his drink and sighed contently. The two in front of him continued to argue, so Itachi pulled out a book and read while he listened.

"_-looks pretty white to me." _Sasuke was saying. Itachi flipped a page. There was something about dragons here.

"_-silver! Not white!"_ Apparently, dragons were illegal here. Maybe that's why the teachers freaked out about his summons.

"_-isn't it? Aniki? Hey, Aniki?" _Sasuke sucked in a breath. _"ANIKI!"_

Itachi dropped his book in surprise and looked up. His brother and friend were watching him.

"_Wow, Aniki. If we were attacked, you wouldn't have even noticed. Some shinobi."_

"_Oh, hush it. Why did you yell my name?"_

"_Is Inu-nii-chan's hair white or silver?"_ Itachi examined Kakashi's hair. It shimmered slightly from the sunlight streaming through the window.

"_Silver. Defiantly silver. White hair doesn't shine in sunlight as far as I know. Why does it matter, anyway?" _The shinobi and shinobi-trainee shrugged.

"_Don't know. Inu-nii-chan was making a big fuss about it though."_

"_You started it."_

"_Did not!"_

"_Did too!"_

"_Did not!" _Itachi sighed. It was going to be a long day.

-

"_Why are we out here, Aniki?"_ Sasuke asked from Itachi's back as he carried him to the Quidditch pitch. Itachi looked up at him while he answered.

"_Because even though you are here, I'm still on a mission. My special charge is here, so I am going to watch for trouble. And you, my dear Sasuke-kun, are going to practice your English."_ Sasuke groaned, which made Itachi smirk in amusement.

"_Where's Inu-nii-chan?" _The raven-haired boy asked as they made their way through the entrance.

"_He said he was hungry. So he's probably somewhere reading his perverted book."_ The ANBU captain said.

The two walked up the stands. They were greeted by a bunch of catcalls and jeers from the Slytherin Quidditch team and assorted hangers-on, who were grouped halfway up the empty stands and whose voices echoed loudly around the stadium.

"What's that Weasley's riding?" Malfoy called in his sneering drawl. "Why would anyone put a flying charm on a moldy old log like that?"

His cronies guffawed and shrieked with laughter. The Gryffindors ignored them, though Itachi saw one of the twins shoot the Slytherins a inappropriate hand gesture. The shinobi glanced behind him. Thankfully, Sasuke wasn't paying attention. When Weasley dropped the big red ball the Slytherins, led by Malfoy, roared and screamed with laughter.

On his third attempt, Weasley caught the ball; perhaps out of relief he passed it on so enthusiastically that it soared straight through Katie's outstretched hands and hit her hard in the face. Sasuke gaped.

"_Aniki, that looked like it hurt! Is she alright? Why are they hurting each other?"_

"_I do not believe that he meant to hit her. Come on, Sasuke-kun. Climb on my back, we are going to see if she is seriously hurt."_

Sasuke climbed onto his brother's back. Itachi walked to the edge of the stands, watched by the Slytherins as well as the Gryffindors. The girls screamed when he jumped, and some of the boys yelled in fright. The Slytherins ran to the edge, probably to see how much of a splat the guard would make.

They were somewhat disappointed, relieved, and surprised to find that he was simply walking down the wall. In fact, he seemed to be perfectly comfortable doing so. It was like 'Weasel' didn't even realize it was a wall he was walking down.

He reached the ground in no time and was met by the Gryffindor team. One of the twins was handing Katie something.

"Bloody hell, man! What was that?" Weasley gaped at him. Itachi stared calmly back.

"I wanted to make sure Bell-san was alright. Your nose is not broken is it?"

"I-I don't think so. But it won't stop bleeding." Came Katie's muffled voice. Her shirt sleeve wasn't helping much. She was now chalk white and covered in blood.

"She needs the hospital wing." said Angelina.

"She - er - might have swallowed a Blood Blisterpod by mistake -" Said a twin. Fred, Itachi thought.

"A what?" Sasuke asked. The Gryffindors stared at him.

"You speak English?" Ron asked, gaping at the little Uchiha.

"I is learning."

"It is 'I am learning,' Sasuke-kun." Itachi corrected.

"I am learning."

"Er.... Blood Blisterpod. George and I made them. I meant to give her the half to stop the bleeding, but gave her the wrong one."

"Come here, Bell-san, please." Itachi waved her forward. Hesitantly, she walked over to him. He motioned for her to remove her sleeve. Katie complied, moving the blood-soaked garment away from her face. Itachi put his hand over her nose and channeled his chakra. Soon, his hand was glowing a soft blue and Katie's nose-bleed got slower and slower before completely stopping.

"Whoa. Thanks."

"You are welcome. _Come now, Sasuke-kun. Time to go back up to the stands. You still need to practice your English."_

"_But, Aniki-"_

"_Sasuke-kun....."_

"_Can't we go somewhere else? Like on one of the brooms? The stands are boring! And I'm learning English. Watch! _See? English! I'm speaking English! Now can we ride on a broom? Please? Pretty please? I'll give you pocky!"

Itachi sighed. The students were watching both of them. Sasuke did have a point. He was here for fun... And he did know a lot English. It could be worse.

"Did you finish the work your teacher assigned for you to do while visiting?"

"Yup."

"And you cleaned up the mess you made with the fruit juice?"

"Yup."

"Alright, then. We'll fly. Go get one of the spare brooms." Sasuke saluted him and rushed off. Itachi shook his head.

"Um.... Weasel? What's pocky?" Ron asked. Sasuke arrived at that moment with a broom.

"It's Aniki's favorite! Especially chocolate! His favorite is the chocolate kind." Sasuke leaned in closer to Ron and waved him closer. The whole Gryffindor team leaned in too. "I can get Aniki to do just about anything with pocky."

"You can not, gaki." Itachi said, very much annoyed.

"Can too! I just got you to let me on a broom."

"That was not because you said you'd give me pocky. I have some in my pocket if I wanted it. It was because you are learning English very fast and you are here to visit. In two days you will be back home and I want you to have something to tell Okaa-san and Otou-san when you get back."

"Um.... Is Aneekee your real name and who are Ooka-san and Ootoo-san?" Harry asked.

"Aniki can be translated to 'honorable older brother.' It is the name Sasuke-kun has given me instead of Nii-san or Nii-chan. Okaa-san means 'mother' and Otou-san is 'father.'" Itachi said.

"Honorable older brother?" Ron asked, looking at Itachi. "What's honorable about you?"

"Aniki is too honorable! He graduated the Academy when he was seven! That's a year older than I am! And he activated the Shari-"

"Sasuke-kun, we are not supposed to tell them that. I know Hokage-sama warned you about that."

"Oh, yeah.... Sorry Aniki. But he said you weren't honorable."

"Come, Sasuke-kun. Why don't we try to fly now." Itachi did notice the meaningful look that Harry and Ron exchanged. He would have to watch for those two. Three if he counted Hermione. This could prove disastrous.

-

"-So Aniki taught me English. Then, we went to the big stadium and he healed a girl's nose and then we flew on a broom!" Sasuke told McGonagall from his seat next to her.

They were in the great hall, sitting at the staff table. Kakashi sat on one side of Itachi, Sasuke on the other. Sasuke turned to his brother, who was eating some Ochazuke.

"I like her! She listens and doesn't tell me to shut up!" He told his Aniki excitedly.

"Who tells you to shut up?" Itachi asked with a frown.

"Okaa-san, Otou-san, Mizuki-sensei.... there's more, I just don't want to list them." Sasuke said. He nibbled on an Anpan. McGonagall smiled when he started babbling again. Kakashi shook his head.

"Your parents are harsh. They shouldn't be telling their son to shut up."

".........."

"No offense."

"None taken.... I do believe you are correct. But I do not believe you should say such things lightly."

"I don't say it lightly. But I am fond of the little brat." Kakashi pulled out his book and started reading.

"Inu-nii-chan! You shouldn't read that smut at the table!" The teachers froze and looked at him. Some of the students quieted down and looked at them.

"Um... Sasuke that was really loud...." Kakashi said, sweat-dropping. His younger friend chuckled quietly. The Copy-Cat Ninja glared at the ANBU beside him. The students dubbed them uninteresting and continued talking.

"Sasuke-kun is correct, Inu-sempai."

"I thought his name was Dog?" Screeched- er- _said_ Umbridge. Itachi narrowed his eyes.

"Dog is a translation. Inu is 'dog,' but in our own language."

"So what is 'weasel' in your language?"

"Itachi is 'weasel.' But Hokage-sama said I was to go by Weasel while staying here."

"Who is Hokage-sama."

"I've told you once before, do you not remember?"

"No, I believe I do not." She smiled, making Sasuke duck lower into his seat.

"_Aniki, she scares me!"_ He squeaked.

"_You are not alone. She could make Buddha a murderer and Orochimaru renounce his ways for the path of righteousness."_ Sasuke giggled. Itachi smiled at him. _"But we won't tell her that. Pretend to be polite. If you must be rude, then pretend you don't realize you're being rude. Try to avoid her if at all possible."_

"_Yes, Aniki."_ Itachi patted Sasuke's head.

"Hem, _hem_."

"You should see Poppy-san for that problem. It could be infectious and I do not wish for Sasuke-kun to get it." Itachi told her. Sasuke looked horrified. _"I'm not serious, Sasuke-kun..."_

"I do believe you shouldn't talk in other languages while people who do not know the language are present."

"I'm glad you give your opinion. It's good for your self-esteem. Good for you. _What's the matter, Sasuke-kun?"_

"_Inu-nii-chan is choking on something, I think."_ Itachi turned. Kakashi actually was disguising his laughter as coughs.

"Oh dear. It would seem you _are _contagious, Umbridge-san. I'm afraid we must take Dog-san to the Hospital Wing now. Goodbye." Itachi grabbed Sasuke and poofed in front of his room. Kakashi followed and soon his coughs were quiet chuckles.

"_That woman has the most ridiculous voice I have ever heard!"_ Itachi turned to the painting guard to his room.

"_Yabun osokuni sumimasen." _He told it. When it opened, he motioned for his two companions to go inside. Sasuke gave Kakashi a weird look.

"_Is he alright?"_ He asked.

"_Perfectly fine. Come on, Sasuke-kun. It is time to rest."_ Itachi walked in behind his brother. Sasuke went to his pack. He pulled out a small nightgown with a funny animal cap. When he put it on, it looked like a black cat was eating his head. Itachi smiled and shook his head.

"_Do Okaa-san and Otou-san know you have that? I would think they would have heart attacks."_ Sasuke beamed at him.

"_Nope! I saved up my money to buy it, then hid it in a secret place!"_

"_A secret place?"_

"_Yup. They'll never find anything their. It's where I hide my toys when Okaa-chan wants to clean my room."_ He yawned. _"I brought Ookami with me.... H-he wanted to c-come-"_

Sasuke gave another large yawn.

"_Time for you to sleep, Sasuke-kun. You may sleep on my futon. I have duty tonight anyway."_ Sasuke attempted to glare, but was interrupted by another yawn.

"_B-but I'm n-n-not t-tired!" _Protested the young raven-haired Uchiha.

"_If you were not, then you wouldn't be yawning. Come on, time for rest. You never know if you might need it tomorrow." _Sasuke pouted, but walked up and gave his brother a hug. Then he gave Kakashi a hug.

"_Good night, Aniki, Inu-nii-chan."_ Itachi tucked the covers around him. The younger boy was asleep in no time.

-

**Speaking of sleep, that's what I need to do now.... it's late... Night all.**

**Sorry for the short chapter again... My writer's block is not gone, but I want to let you guys keep reading....**

-


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks to all who reviewed!

-::-

It had been several days since Sasuke had left Hogwarts along with Kakashi. Itachi had actually been rather bored during these days. The Golden Trio had managed to stay out of too much trouble (although Harry seemed to be getting more and more irritated at his guard). Malfoy was not making any trouble at all, although Itachi suspected he was plotting something. Today was one of those days that the Uchiha wished he had not accepted the mission. A warm breeze swept past him, making his hair blow back. Closing his eyes, Itachi let out a inaudible sigh. What he wouldn't give to have Sasuke back just now. At least things had been interesting with the younger Uchiha around. The mere thought of his brother was enough to make Itachi depressed, so he opened his eyes and peered at the lake. A giant squid was floating lazily on the surface of the water, looking rather content. With a slight smile, Itachi glanced down at his 'special' charge. At the moment, Harry and his friends were working on homework. Both boys of the group were occasionally glancing at the Quidditch pitch longingly, only to have their homework brought to attention by Hermione. Feeling the sudden urge to laugh at the looks on Harry and Ron's faces, Itachi turned and pulled out a book from his kunai pouch. It wasn't a very large book, but the words were actually very small. Swinging his legs idly, Itachi flipped it open to his marked spot and began reading about the anatomy of Hippogriffs. Within minutes, he was engrossed. For several minutes all he could do was read. That is, until his stomach wound ached so badly, he dropped his book and was forced to grab it. He fell forward from the tree he had been sitting in, landing face-first onto the ground. Hermione shrieked, but her voice sounded muffled for some odd reason. Itachi only had time to wonder at his sudden predicament and the odd spots that seemed to be dancing before his eyes before it was lights out. The blackness thankfully relieved the ANBU of his pain.

Itachi Uchiha woke to the smell of medicine and overly-clean sheets. His wound throbbed dully, nowhere near as painful as before he had passed out. Groaning at his stupidity, the shinobi sat up and looked around. His mask was still in place, as his chakra strings keeping it up could not be cut, even when Itachi was unconscious, and he was still wearing his ANBU uniform. The only thing off was the absence of his shirt, weapons, and bandages. A ripple of irritation swam through the Uchiha and he glanced around for his missing items. His irritation was soon replaced by silent anger as he found they were nowhere in sight. Clenching his teeth, Itachi swung his legs over the edge of the bed and found himself suddenly on the floor, groaning in pain.

"_For goodness sake! Can't I even stand for a moment without meeting the ground?"_ He muttered, sitting up. Slowly and silently, he stood and grabbed onto a nearby side-table for support. Then he edged himself back onto the bed and sat cross-legged with his head resting on his propped-up on his arm. There he waited until someone came to explain where his belongings had vanished off to. Not soon after he managed to sit up, the school nurse, Poppy Pomfrey, arrived carrying bandages and clucked her tongue at him.

"Tried to sit up, did you?" She asked, setting her burden onto the side-table he had used earlier. "Figures! None of my patients seem to know how to take care of themselves! I had hoped you, at least, would be different!"

"_I can to take care of myself…."_ Itachi muttered, allowing the medi-witch to bandage his wound. She poked him hard in the side and soon Itachi was holding said side and cursing loudly. "W-What in the _Kamis' _graces was that for?"

"That was for muttering darkly in a language I cannot understand." Poppy said simply, giving his new bandages an extra tug as she wrapped them around him. "What in the world did you do to yourself, young man? These wounds needed treated weeks ago!"

"My team was ambushed during my last mission, that's all. I was going to get it looked at by a medic after getting home, but had been summoned for a new mission." Itachi grumbled, staring at the blank wall behind the nurse. Said nurse rolled her eyes in an annoyed fashion.

"Why didn't you come to me, then?" She demanded, glaring at him.

"…. You're a witch, not a medic-ninja. I do not trust magic…. Nor did I believe you know what kind of poison was used."

"Poison? That explains the unusual marks…" Poppy muttered to herself. "Well, you are right; I do not know the kind of poison. However, I know someone who can learn what it is. Severus knows how to take apart poisons and make antidotes for them. We didn't hire him for his good looks, you know. All of our teachers are professionals."

Itachi said nothing, choosing silence instead. Poppy huffed and continued to fix him up. She pulled out an empty glass vile and used her wand to extract some of the poison from him. Once she was finished, she sent off a silvery spell that rushed out of the hall.

"Sit there and be still. My Patronus will fetch Severus and we'll check out this poison of yours." She said, holding up the vile with contempt. "I cannot pull out all of the stuff as it has already gone into your bloodstream, but I can at least remove it from the outside of the wound."

"… Thank you…" Itachi mumbled, glaring at his hands. Poppy smiled warmly at him before walking off.

"I'll get your belongings, then. Stay there and do not move or I'll tie you to the bed." Itachi chuckled at her.

"That does not sound creepy at all." He joked, narrowly dodging the spell that she sent his way. This only made him laugh harder. Unfortunately, this caused his wound to protest painfully. The ANBU was suddenly cursing quietly and clutching it. While he was doing so, he noticed some new arrivals. It seemed his charge had decided to pay him a visit. Hermione and Ron were with him, obviously. They stood at the doorway, watching him. Ron looked scared at the guard's angry mutters. Hermione and Harry actually seemed to pity him. The look in their eyes made Itachi want to barf. He did not like pity—not one bit. Especially from those he was supposed to protect. So Itachi ignored them as his cursing slowly evaporated and was replaced by grumbles. This made the visitors deem him safe to approach.

"H-Hello, Weasel…" Hermione greeted timidly. Harry and Ron raised their hands in greeting.

"Hello to you, Granger-san, Potter-san, Weasley-san. What brings you to this neck of the woods?" The Uchiha asked, suddenly curious as to why his charges were coming to him when Harry obviously wanted to avoid being anywhere near him. Said boy shifted nervously.

"Well, Hermione wanted to come see how you were doing… and Ron and I wanted to know what happened. Your shirt was covered in blood…" Harry muttered, making Itachi blink.

"Ah… So that's why it is missing… It was very nice of you to visit, especially since you do not like me much. I'm doing alright now. Poppy-san bandaged me up wonderfully. As for the bleeding…. Um…. I only reopened my wound from my last mission…. I think…." He muttered the last part to himself, not sure what had happened to cause his injury to ache so suddenly. Certainly it wasn't anything he had done! All he had been doing at the time was reading. Then again… _"It did look a little red last time I bandaged it, now that I think back… Maybe it wasn't Sasuke-kun's juice…"_

The Golden Trio watched him mutter, noticing his eyes narrow through the porcelain mask. Suddenly, Itachi shook his head.

"Ah, well." Shrugging, Itachi glanced at the door. Poppy was coming back with his belongings. Even his shirt was there, nice and blood-free. Itachi grinned and the smile reached his eyes. Harry and company were startled at the sudden display of emotion and looked behind them. Pomfrey gave their guard his stuff back and soon Itachi was fully clothed once more.

"May I go now, Poppy-san?" He asked, replacing his weapons to their rightful places. Weighed down by their familiar mass, Itachi felt much better than before. Being with weapons was always safer than being without.

"Only if you return when I call for you. Severus will probably have the antidote ready by the end of the week. I'll see you then." Poppy decided, though she seemed rather reluctant. Itachi bowed in thanks and looked at his charges.

"I suppose you best be coming too, if there is nothing here you wanted to do." He said, placing his hands into his pockets. "I, for one, am going outside. The day is nice and my katana needs sharpened."

With that, he began his trek to the great outdoors. Curious about his 'katana' despite themselves, the Golden Trio followed behind. Harry grumbled to himself, but was otherwise silent. Ron and Hermione shared a look and rolled their eyes. This was going to be a very long day.

Itachi sat down at the base of the tree he had been sitting in only hours before. When fully comfortable, he pulled out his katana and began the lengthy process of sharpening it. The blade was sadly dull and useless. Cutting flesh properly would be hard in its condition. Hermione however, seemed confused.

"It looks awfully sharp already…" She said, examining it warily. Harry and Ron nodded in agreement, eyeing the blade with the same contempt Pomfrey had to the vile of poison. Itachi refrained from rolling his eyes.

"I could hardly cut anyone with this!" He told them, irritated. For once, he didn't think about his words.

"W-Who are you planning to cut?" Ron asked with his eyes wide and frightened. Abstaining from any eye-rolling was impossible now.

"Not you, obviously. Don't act so scared… I never break my contracts without good reason. And my current contract makes itself clear that I am not to harm any student—or staff member—without having a valid cause." Itachi examined his blade closely and sighed. Not even close! He began sharpening it again immediately. However, even with his concentration focused on the blade, he did not miss the meaningful look exchanged between the trio of wizards.

"So… what does your contract say?" Harry asked, having silently been elected as the group's questioner.

"…. Well, I don't want to repeat it for the reason that it is _very _long…. But I suppose I can summarize it up to; do not harm any pupils or staff members of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. If I must harm one of said subjects, then I require a suitable reason. If my client does not find my reason acceptable, then the contract can be broken and a fine must be paid. My leader is then able to punish me as he sees fit. Hokage-sama usually puts those who break the contract on suspension if he does not like the cause. However, if the reason is plausible, then Hokage-sama may decide the client is trying to get out of paying our village the fee for the mission and then we usually end up in a war."

"W-war? Really?" Hermione asked, paling tremendously. "Isn't that a bit… harsh?"

"Harsh? We don't start war without going through a lot of debate with both our own council and the country of whoever it was that broke the contract's leaders are. There have been almost no wars caused by someone breaking a contract." Itachi told them. He noticed the sudden gleam of rebellion in Harry's eyes. "Of course, there have only been five contract breaks in the history of my village, so there haven't been many motives to start a war."

Harry looked slightly disappointed. Itachi raised an eyebrow.

"Don't look so sad. Were you planning on getting me…. What was the word? Ah, yes… Were you planning on getting me sacked?" The wizards flushed red and stuttered.

"N-No! Of course not!" This only caused Itachi to sigh with sadness.

"I see… Well, I cannot say I am surprised. Not many people are fond of shinobi anyway…" Itachi stopped sharpening his katana and turned his attention to the nearby lake in thought. The giant squid was gone and the water was as smooth as glass. From the corner of his mind, he heard Hermione's half-hearted denials. But he didn't listen to them. Of course wizards were going to hate shinobi. If people from the Hidden Countries did, why would people from other countries not? Itachi held up his sword in the light and examined it, barely listening to the trio of wizards' protests. He sighed and stood up, ignoring the twinge of his injury. "That is sharp enough. I…. I think I will go see if…"

But he could not think of an excuse for leaving. Instead, he let the sentence hang and walked back to the castle in silence. The Golden Trio stood and tried to follow him, but Itachi was suddenly not in the mood to listen to them. He put his fingers together into a handseal and teleported to the roof of Hogwarts. He noticed the three students look up to where he had appeared, but ignored them and ran across the tiles and out of sight. He continued running until he had made it to the highest tower. There he summoned Kyoshiryu and asked him to watch over his main charge under the pretense of taking a break. When the dragon-summon had gone, Itachi lay down on the tower and watched the clouds float by. He sighed, feeling rather like a Nara. They all seemed to love clouds…

It wasn't until several hours later that Itachi had sulked enough to return to his duties. With a quick thank you and goodbye to Kyoshiryu, Itachi put a genjutsu over himself and followed Harry and co.

"I think we should apologize." Hermione said firmly. Harry and Ron rolled their eyes together.

"Yeah," Harry said, "We'll just walk right on up to him and say 'hey, we're sorry for wanting to get you sacked. We just wanted to take care of ourselves, even if you adults don't seem to think we can!'"

Ron snickered and Itachi glared daggers at the back of Harry's head. He unconsciously leaked out some killing intent, however, and the group stopped suddenly. They started shivering.

"I-Is it just me or did the hall get colder?" Ron asked, looking over at his friends. Both Harry and Hermione nodded.

"L-let's go." The former said, making the other two nod frantically. They took off at a run, not even noticing their silent shadow. Itachi pulled back his intent and soon the group had slowed to a walk again.

"That was really strange." Hermione said, holding a book against her chest. Her knuckles were white as they gripped the surface of the poor tome.

"Yeah… I wonder what it was that caused that…" Harry muttered, looking around.

"D-Do you think it was Weasel?" Their red-headed friend asked, glancing behind them nervously. Itachi put his arms behind his head and stared at the ceiling, well aware that the trio could not see him. Genjutsu was better than invisibility cloaks by far.

"It couldn't have been. There was no place for him to hide. Besides, whatever it was that caused it, it's obviously gone now. Weasel would have followed us." Hermione told him, rolling her eyes as if this was clearly the best explanation. Harry and Ron nodded and agreed with her, probably to sooth their own minds. The three wizards walked in silence for several minutes before arriving at their destination; the Fat Lady. Itachi dubbed them safe as soon as the portrait closed behind them. He vanished in a poof of smoke, scaring the painted women.

Dinner was unusually quiet between Itachi and Minerva. Both seemed to have a lot on their mind as they picked at the morsels before them. Itachi glanced up at the doors when the Golden Trio arrived, but huffed quietly into his mask and ignored them. Minerva glanced at him.

"Bad day with the charges, Weasel?" She asked sympathetically. Itachi nodded and swirled his ramen around.

"They were trying to find a way to get me fired…" He told the older woman, finally deciding to forego dinner tonight. He scooted his bowl away untouched and set down his chopsticks. Minerva sighed and put down her fork.

"Honestly! Those children… I'm sorry, Weasel. They can be more than a handful at times. You'd think they'd have more sense than that, though! The nerve…" She grumbled about the three students, causing Itachi to smile slightly.

"Thank you very much, Minerva-chan. Do not worry, however. All will be fine." He gave her a small laugh. Then he noticed his charges walking towards them. "I will see you later. They are coming over here and it is time for me to get some rest anyway. Perhaps you should as well, Minerva-chan. You look tired."

The Transfiguration teacher waved him off.

"I'm fine, but that is some good advice. Goodnight, Weasel."

"Goodnight, Minerva-chan." With that, Itachi teleported up to his room. Before he vanished, he caught the annoyed expressions of Ron and Harry and Hermione's disappointed one.

When Itachi arrived at his room, he did not sleep. Instead, he took off his mask and pulled out a blank scroll and started to paint. For about thirty minutes he painted in silence, banishing all thoughts while doing so. As soon as he had a quarter of the scroll painted, there was a knock on his portrait door. The only ones who knew where his room resided besides himself, Kakashi, and Sasuke were the staff members, so Itachi thought nothing of it as he returned his mask to its place on his face and opened the portrait. There waited the Golden Trio. Narrowing his eyes, Itachi examined them.

"How do you know where my room is?" He asked angrily. Dealing with the three of them was not on his list of things to do.

"We asked Professor Dumbledore…" Whispered Hermione, shuffling her feet and looking rather scared at his tone. Harry and Ron glared at him. Itachi glared back, successfully giving them a bit of a scare. In fact, Itachi heard Ron's frantic heartbeat skip a bit.

"_That irritating old man!"_ Itachi muttered venomously, startling Hermione, even though she had no idea what he had said. His tone was enough to frighten her. "Go back to your dorm. It is nearly past curfew."

With that, Itachi shut the portrait in their faces. As he stalked back to his painting, Itachi heard the three of them attempting to guess his password. And failing miserably. Their guesses were all in English. Rolling his eyes, Itachi ignored their attempts and continued painting. He kept a close ear out for attacks, however. None came, as he expected they wouldn't. Well, not the kind he was used to. The Golden Trio knocked on the entrance again, harder than before.

"Let us talk to you, Weasel!" Harry shouted in anger. Itachi heard Hermione scold him.

"Don't yell at him, Harry!" She said. "Um… Weasel? Please let us apologize… We are very sorry for making you think we wanted you sacked! Our questions weren't meant to offend you!"

"Open up, you big baby!" Ron yelled loudly. Itachi twitched and growled to himself. How dare they? Rude wizards! There was no way after this mission that Itachi was ever coming back to England! The Uchiha heir managed to ignore their whining for three minutes before giving up and stalking back to the portrait. He opened it and stiffly motioned them inside.

"_Morons."_ He muttered darkly as he shut the portrait behind them. Ron turned to Hermione and Harry.

"What does '_baka_' mean?" He whispered to them. Both shrugged helplessly.

"Dobby?" Itachi called suddenly, making the wizards jump. There was a loud crack and there stood the house-elf.

"Yes, Mister Weasel?" The bat-eared creature was simply bubbling with excitement. He noticed Itachi's guests and waved enthusiastically. "Hello, Harry Potter!"

"Hi, Dobby." The green-eyed boy replied. Itachi raised an eyebrow, but said nothing about the exchange.

"Could you bring up some tea please, Dobby?" The ANBU captain asked. "Four cups, if you would."

"Alright! Dobby is bringing tea!" The elf seemed delighted as it vanished again. Itachi led his unwanted guests to the table by the fireplace. They seated themselves awkwardly in the cushions. Itachi ignored them completely as he stiffly packed up his painting of the Konoha. He sprinkled sand over the drying ink and set it next to his futon. When Dobby arrived with the tea, Itachi was sitting down at the table with the Golden Trio.

"Thank you, Dobby." The house-elf bowed and vanished moments later. "So for what reason were you banging so rudely on the painting?"

"We… wanted to apologize… Sorry…" Hermione said, ducking her head as she sipped some tea. Itachi blinked emotionlessly. Apologizing for wanting to get him fired? How in the world could he possibly forgive them for that?

"Apology not accepted. Please leave now." The 'please' only came out from the habits that his mother had drilled into him. The trio, however, decided that he was softening up a bit.

"Listen to us!" Harry cried, sounding rather annoyed.

"No." Only shinobi training allowed Itachi to keep his cool now. "You listen. There is no proper way to apologize for trying to get someone fired."

He held up his hand at the protests that started bubbling up.

"I am a shinobi. Your expressions, not your words, were what allowed me to see what you were doing. Hiding emotions are not something wizards are good at. In fact, many of you do not try at all. Now, I will say it once more, there is no proper way to apologize for wanting to get someone fired for doing their job." Itachi's voice came out as cold as ice, even though his face was expressionless behind the mask. "It is not my job to get along with you nor is it to do as you wish. I attempted to be polite and respect you. However, it seems I will just have to keep my distance. Now _leave_."

The three students looked rather startled and stood up slowly. Hermione was biting her lip with tears in her eyes. It hurt the ANBU to see and he looked away from her. Itachi did not like getting angry at people. It wasn't something he did often either. For the reason that he did not like seeing people sad, like Hermione. As the three wizards slinked out the door with an air of defeat (from Hermione), anger (coming from Harry), and fright (Ron), Itachi shook his head.

"Actions speak louder than words." He said finally, before shutting the door gently behind them.

* * *

-_- Alright, so it's been a _long_ time since I've updated, the chapter was short, and it sucked… I'm very sorry…


	7. Chapter 7

*Author sweatdrops and attempts to ignore the curses and threats aimed at her*

-::-

For the next few weeks after Itachi's argument with the Golden Trio, he did as he said he would and kept his distance. However, the longer he ignored their attempts to make things up to him, the harder it became to resist Hermione's desperate tears.

"_Some shinobi you are, Uchiha Itachi."_ The ANBU muttered darkly to himself, placing his mask onto his face and opening the portrait entrance to his room. As he closed it behind him, Itachi pulled out a book from his kunai pouch and began to read as he headed down to dinner. Now completely finished with Hippogriffs, he had moved on to reading about Alchemy. Apparently, there was some sort of stone that could make one immortal and turn lead into gold. Itachi snorted quietly to himself. Was there anything these wizards hadn't come up with?

He walked to the Great Hall in silence, only giving a half-hearted wave at those students and teachers who greeted him. The shinobi was so into his book, he did not notice that one of those he waved to happened to be the same students that he was currently holding a grudge against. Nor did Itachi realize he had waved at Umbridge either. The latter decided that this was a sign that she was winning him over and decided to interrogate the poor teen.

"Hello, Weasel." The toad crooned, effectively scaring the shinobi and ruining his appetite. Itachi slowly lowered his book and looked up at her with wide eyes. Umbridge giggled in a sickening way. It was hard not to shudder at the horrid sound.

"… Greetings, Umbridge-teme." Itachi managed, glancing to the side to get Minerva's attention. She was not present. Umbridge giggled again, perhaps using her animal instincts to detect his discomfort.

"Are you well today, dear?" She asked, grinning madly. Fighting down the urge to wipe the smirk off the evil woman's face permanently (his katana was practically begging to be used), Itachi gave her a stiff nod.

"I was when I awoke." He told her, not adding the last bit '_but then I was cornered by this hag and suddenly the day was ruined._'

"Really? I have some special news, Weasel. You are going to be pleasantly surprised!" Umbridge seemed to be bursting with excitement. Itachi decided that he would forego any food today. The look on her face had destroyed any chance of keeping it down.

"…" Was all she got as a reply.

"I've been made Hogwarts' first High Inquisitor!" Contrary to her prediction that he would be surprised in a good way, Itachi was more surprised in an absolutely horrified way. Preventing the swear words that threatened to erupt off his tongue proved quite difficult.

"… You can't be serious." He deadpanned, looking for any signs of a joke. Umbridge was practically brimming with excitement. Why had she decided to share this news with him? The caretaker whose name Itachi could not recall would probably be more thrilled than he was!

"Oh, but I am! Isn't this wonderful?"

"… I have to go see someone now…" Itachi teleported himself to Minerva's office. He knocked on the door. The Transfiguration professor opened it almost immediately, looking rather grim.

"So you've heard?" He nodded and walked inside when she motioned for him to do so. "Here, take a look at the paper."

Itachi did and it made his eye twitch horribly with every word;

**MINISTRY SEEKS EDUCATIONAL REFORM**

**DOLORES UMBRIDGE APPOINTED FIRST-EVER "HIGH INQUISITOR"**

_In a surprise move last night the Ministry of Magic passed new legislation giving itself an unprecedented level of control at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry._

'_The Minister has been growing uneasy about going-on at Hogwarts for some time,' said Junior Assistant to the Minister, Percy Weasley. 'He is now responding to concerns voiced by anxious parents, who feel the school may be moving in a direction they do not approve.'_

_This is not the first time in recent weeks that Fudge has used new laws to effect improvements at the Wizarding school. As recently as August 30__th__ Educational Decree Twenty-two was passed, to ensure that, in the event of the current headmaster being unable to provide a candidate for a teaching past, the Ministry should select an appropriate person._

_That's how Dolores Umbridge came to be appointed to the teaching staff at Hogwarts,' said Weasley last night. 'Dumbledore couldn't find anyone, so the Minister put in Umbridge and of course, she's been an immediate success, totally revolutionizing the teaching of Defense Against the Dark Arts and providing the Minister with on-the-ground feedback about what's really happening at Hogwarts.'"_

Suddenly Itachi was thrown into a coughing fit as he struggled not to laugh at the idiocy of the newspaper. Minerva patted him on the back sympathetically. Soon he waved her off and continued to read.

"_It is this last function that the Ministry has now formalized with the passing of Educational Degree Twenty-three, which creates the new position of 'Hogwarts High Inquisitor'_

_This is an exciting new phase in the Minister's plan to get grips with what some are calling the 'falling standards' at Hogwarts,' said Weasley. 'The Inquisitor will have powers to inspect her fellow educators and make sure that they are coming up to scratch. Professor Umbridge has been offered this position in addition to her own teaching post, and we are delighted to say that she has accepted—"_

But Itachi could read no more. Closing his eyes, the Konoha shinobi sent up a silent prayer to any Kami who happened to be listening at the time.

"_Just kill her now, please. Or, if you will not, give me a valid reason to do so for you."_ He muttered, looking up at the ceiling. Minerva took back the newspaper, patting his shoulder.

"I'm not sure what you just said, but the tone tells me 'just kill me now.'" She told him, smiling slightly as she peered over her glasses.

"You are close… I said kill _her_ now. May Amaterasu roast her soul!" He growled, shaking his head at the stupidity of the Wizarding government. Then he sighed in defeat, "Well, it is not up to me to beat sense into foreign governments, so I will continue with my duties as though her ego has not shot up tremendously."

Minerva smiled as she opened her door and they walked out.

"That's the spirit." She said as they both ducked below one of Peeves water balloons.

-::-

Most of the morning was fairly uneventful. Umbridge had decided not to inspect the History of Magic class Itachi was attending with his main charge, nor had she appeared in Snape's Potions. Itachi wrote silently on a blank scroll as the greasy-haired professor handed back the class's essays. The blank scroll was to become his report to the Hokage of the going-on at Hogwarts so far. Umbridge's new position pushed him to do so sooner than he had originally planned. For the rest of the period he wrote, until the class had ended. It had seemed much faster than usual. Itachi glanced up as the class packed and sealed his scroll. Hermione tried to speak to him, but the ANBU captain ignored her and continued to walk. When he arrived at the Great Hall, he carefully dodged Umbridge, as she had been trying to corner him once more. Sitting down next to Minerva without being stopped seemed like a blessing.

"This day has dragged on longer than necessary." He told the older witch, as he attempted to eat some British food; Kidney pie. The mere name was enough to make the shinobi wary. Minerva nodded and hid a smirk. Itachi was holding his fork out in front of him as if it held some deadly disease. Cautiously, he lifted his mask enough to take a bite. Then he gagged.

"Whatever is the matter?" Minerva asked, her tone filled with amusement. Itachi set down his fork and scooted his plate away. His friend was struggling not to laugh.

"I will never trust any food with the word 'kidney' in it again." He told her, grabbing a stick of pocky to clear away the taste. The witch smiled and ate her own pie.

"Why not? The pie isn't so bad!" She said, laughing when he found that kidney and pocky did not mix well. Itachi struggled not to gag again.

"I don't believe that dinner is going well today. Perhaps it would be best to call it a night and get back to my room…" He said, glancing beside him. Minerva nodded and waved him off.

"Perhaps tomorrow will get better." She said before he vanished. Itachi prayed she was right.

-::-

When Itachi entered his room, he found himself annoyed with what he saw. Sitting in front of the fire on the cushions was the Golden Trio and Dumbledore. Itachi paused briefly at the door, examining the scene, before walking slowly to the low table and sitting down. He was immensely glad that he had put a blood seal on his bag, as it would have been irritating if his unexpected guests had gone through his stuff.

"Hello, Dumbledore-san… Potter-san, Weasley-san, Granger-san. To what do I owe this… visit?" Asked Itachi, successfully keeping his annoyance out of his tone. Dumbledore smiled at him.

"Good afternoon, Weasel. I've received a letter for you with the instructions to give it to you personally. As for these three, I found them trying to guess your password and decided that it would be best to keep them from doing so." The old man was met with silence as a response. Ignoring the awkward atmosphere of the room, Dumbledore handed Itachi his letter in silence. The Uchiha accepted it with a quiet murmur of thanks, examining the seal on the back of the scroll. It was blood-red and had the Hokage's signature on it. He opened it with a feeling of foreboding. The letter read;

_Dear Uchiha Itachi,_

_It is to my deepest regrets to inform you that your entire clan has been killed. I know that we agreed to wait until you returned to speak of the clan's plans; however the council would not wait to take action. Your father moved the date of his coup earlier than the date of your return. The person who took charge of the massacre was Uchiha Madara, whom was contacted by one of our council members through questionable means._

_Unfortunately, your brother, Sasuke, was found to be missing after the attack. We are unsure to whether he was murdered, kidnapped, or ran away. If you are to attain any information on his whereabouts, please notify me. In return, I shall do the same for you. Continue on as you have been, but keep an eye out for Madara, as we suspect he plans to kill you as well._

_With my deepest apologies,_

_Sarutobi Hiruzen, Sandaime Hokage_

Itachi stared in shock for the first few seconds after reading the message before rereading it twice more. He couldn't believe it. It seemed impossible.

"_H-He can't possibly expect me to stay here after this!"_ Exclaimed Itachi, setting the letter on the table, face-down. Staring at the fire, Itachi tried to think of something to say. Dumbledore looked at his hired guard with worry apparent in his eyes, waiting for some sort of explanation. But Itachi said nothing, choosing instead to watch the fire with wide eyes. The Golden Trio watched him curiously.

"…. Dumbledore-san…" Itachi began, looking over at his employer with torn eyes.

"Yes, Weasel?"

"I…" How could he put this in a way that wouldn't horrify the old man? Itachi didn't know, so he just went for getting it over with. "My clan has been..."

He didn't know how to continue. Was there a way that he could explain his desire to leave? A shinobi did not quit his mission because of some problems at home! Of course, how many shinobi had their family murdered and brother murdered while away on a mission?

"Your clan has been what, Weasel?" Dumbledore asked, watching the shinobi. The Golden Trion fidgeted nervously. With a defeated sigh, Itachi motioned for Dumbledore to look at the letter, guessing that he could read Itachi's language as well as speak it. He was right, as Dumbledore took the letter and studied it quietly. The room was silent save for the crackling of the fire. Itachi was finding it hard to breath. He was worried for Sasuke. What had happened to him? Was he scared now or was he… dead?

Itachi struggled to keep himself together. Thirteen or not, he was a shinobi! Ninja don't cry! Not even if their brother's were missing and their clan dead. But… what had happened to his little brother? Itachi's thoughts swam and for once he loathed his overactive imagination. Images of Madara—who Itachi knew personally—harming Sasuke or killing him danced through Itachi's head.

It wasn't until Dumbledore looked up that Itachi realized that his full name had been in the letter. Sadly, he couldn't bring himself to care.

"I'm very sorry for your loss." Dumbledore said. Itachi gave him a half-hearted nod of thanks. Harry, Hermione, and Ron glanced at each other in confusion. "It says here to keep on as you have, but I have a feeling you don't want to do that."

"Of course not, Dumbledore-san. They're all dead… Hundreds of them… and Sasuke is… is…" Itachi sucked in a quiet breath before looking back at the glowing flames. Then he said softly, almost inaudibly, "Madara is not merciful. He won't care if Sasuke is a child. There were many children younger than he in the clan. My mother had her baby while I was away. She sent me a letter telling me... It was a girl. That was two weeks ago…"

"Excuse me, but what's going on?" Harry asked, looking from Dumbledore to Itachi. The latter jumped slightly; having forgotten that he trio of Gryffindors was still there.

"Maybe it's time you went to bed." Dumbledore said gently, motioning for the three to leave. Harry looked like he was about to protest, but Hermione and Ron dragged him off. The portrait door shut quietly behind them. Albus Dumbledore stood up. "Perhaps it would be best if you slept as well."

Itachi nodded and the Headmaster left. But for several hours Itachi didn't move. He stared into the flames; sometimes he thought and other times his mind was blank. Sometimes he thought about sending a letter to the Hokage asking to be sent home and other times he thought about staying. The Uchiha wasn't sure about what to do there, but he was sure of one thing; he would make Madara pay if he harmed Sasuke.

-::-

So, um… Don't kill me, please! It's short and it sucked and it took forever to post it, but at least it's up! *attempts to dodge whatever gets thrown at her*


	8. Chapter 8

Another chapter!

-::-

Sasuke was aware of four things when he awoke. One; he was tied up in a very uncomfortable position. Two; his limbs were going numb. Three; there were two others with him, one being a familiar figure (who, unfortunately, was also tied up). And it was raining. Hard. Actually, it was more like the gods had gone swimming and accidently knocked over their god-sized pool. If it wasn't going to flood, then Sasuke would swear that Uzumaki Naruto was a bloody genius! Speaking of Naruto…

The blond was curled up next to him, looking for all the world like Kyuubi had just ripped off Iruka-sensei's head. And with all that had been going on, Sasuke didn't doubt that the giant fox had somehow been revived and did just that. Thinking about the things that had happened, Sasuke had to fight the sudden urge to hurl. Kaa-san… Tou-san… Aoi-chan… How could this man, on top of killing the rest of the Uchiha clan, kill a two-week old baby? And why hadn't he killed Sasuke yet?

Sasuke was dragged from his thoughts when Naruto stirred. The movement made Sasuke flinch, which brought the blonde's attention to him. Their captor either didn't notice that they were awake or didn't really care. Sasuke had a suspicion that it was the latter.

"What's going on?" Naruto mouthed, keeping himself turned away from Captor-teme (as Sasuke had dubbed him). He got a shrug in response. Apparently, Captor-teme had mirrors set up somewhere, because he could tell what Naruto had mouthed without turning around (and even if he had, Naruto was still turned in the opposite direction).

"I'm borrowing you for a little while." He said in a creepy, deep voice. Well, it was creepy to Sasuke at least. But that didn't stop the sarcasm from leaving his mouth.

"Is that what it's called nowadays?" The young Uchiha rolled his eyes and ducked under the kunai that was tossed his way.

"Don't get cocky, gaki. I do not need either of you in one piece." Captor-teme growled. Naruto gulped and Sasuke huffed.

"So what is it you need us for?" Sasuke asked, looking at the hole that was the entrance to the cave they were resting in. Captor-teme laughed coldly. Neither of his captives could suppress shudders at the noise. Sasuke wished his Aniki was there to help them.

"Now why would I tell you that, gaki?" The old man laughed, finally looking up from whatever it was that he was doing. Sasuke's eyes widened. From behind the weird, orange mask the man was wearing, he could see Captor-teme's Sharingan blazing. Naruto and Sasuke looked at each other in horror.

"An _Uchiha_ killed the Uchiha!" Sasuke exclaimed in stunned disbelief.

"An Uchiha did _what_!" Naruto yelped in shock. Captor-teme laughed his evil laugh again, earning some more shudders from his young victims.

"Not all of them." The old Uchiha said, staring out at the downpour of rain. With an almost inaudible sigh, Captor-teme looked back to whatever it was he had been doing before. Sasuke craned his neck to see what it was. There were a bunch of papers lying on top of a large rock that had probably been created using some type of Earth jutsu. Before Captor-teme moved in the way, Sasuke saw that these papers were actually maps. All was quiet for several minutes before Captor-teme's quiet voice startled Sasuke.

"I'll give you a hint as to what I'm planning." He said, catching both Sasuke and Naruto's attention. "We're in Europe."

"What kind of a hint is-" Naruto was cut off by Sasuke's quiet protest.

"No…" The young Uchiha whispered. Captor-teme looked back at them with emotionless eyes and, even though he wore a mask, his victims could tell he was smiling.

"That's right. I'm going to lure out Uchiha Itachi using his dearest little brother."

-::-

The Golden Trio was known for their knack of prying into other people's business. So it was no surprise when, after the mysterious visit with their guard, that their curiosity was peeked. Harry and Ron were dead-set on trying to figure out what had been said in the strange letter Weasel had received from home. Or at least... they _thought_ it was from his home. Hermione, on the other hand, had a guess already.

"I think that there was an attack on his village." The witch told her friends that night, shortly after they had left Weasel's room. Harry and Ron stared at her, waiting for an explanation. Hermione rolled her eyes before explaining, "He said that hundreds were dead and couldn't bring himself to say what had happened to Sasuke."

The Gryffindors shared worried looks, remembering the happy-go-lucky kid that was Weasel's brother. Hermione bit her lip hard and then continued.

"I wonder… I wonder if he's going to go back now… If Sasuke is… is…" She whispered, more to herself than her friends. The girl had to choke out the last word, "_dead_, then he'd… want to bury him… right?"

The other two students nodded. Ron looked up at the ceiling as they walked.

"I wonder if the bloke has anyone else…" He said, speaking what was on all their minds. "I mean, it would be kinda sad if Sasuke was the only one… and now that his brother is gone…"

"You know, he never actually said that Sasuke died." Harry said before stopping in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady. "Maybe he's just injured or something."

Hermione and Ron nodded, hoping to keep somewhat optimistic.

"Are you going to stand there all day or will you say the password so I can go back to sleep?" An irritated Fat Lady snapped. Harry quickly gave her what she wanted and the three students climbed inside to the warm Common Room. Unfortunately, Ron got a sudden thought that broke the semi-positive mood.

"But why was Weasel able to say the other people were dead and not able to say what happened to his brother? I mean, if Sasuke was only injured, you'd think he'd be relieved." And it was that kind of thinking that ruined the mood for the rest of the night.

-::-

Itachi lay on his futon, staring at ceiling and listening to the pouring rain. He couldn't bring himself to do anything else at the moment, too worried about Sasuke to distract himself.

"_Why couldn't Inu-sempai be here? With his nin-dogs, we could easily track down Sasuke-kun…"_ But even that was a useless idea. If Kakashi had been there, his dogs wouldn't be able to track down anything in the rain. Itachi looked out the window. He couldn't see anything except the shower of water. Sighing quietly to himself, Itachi sat up and walked over to the window and opened it. Within seconds his hair was soaked through. He held out his hand but couldn't see it though the downpour.

"_This type of weather can't possibly be natural!"_ Itachi exclaimed in irritation. Never had he seen such weather back at the elemental countries! But… never mind. When he had done recon in Rain Country there had been a storm like this one. Lost in thought, Itachi stared out at the lost grounds, looking for a sign that the weather would get better soon. _"I bet that squid is enjoying itself…"_

-::-

Sasuke brought his legs up to his face and buried his head in his knees, ignoring the pull of the ropes that kept him captive. Of course… Itachi. It should have been obvious to begin with. The thirteen year old ANBU captain. The genius of the Uchiha clan. Sasuke's Aniki. And Itachi wasn't the kind of brother that would allow someone to kidnap his brother without trying to exact revenge. He and Sasuke were closer than most siblings, in their own way. Captor-teme had a plan to lure out Itachi and it was defiantly going to work. Maybe Sasuke should have had more hope that his brother wouldn't fall for the trap, but he knew better than that. But…

"Why is Naruto here, then?" Sasuke asked the older Uchiha. Naruto looked up and the ceiling and became thoughtful (if the situation had not been so serious, Sasuke would have pretended to have a heart attack when he saw the blond boy's expression).

"He has nothing to do with you or your brother, but I really couldn't miss an opportunity to pick up a Jinchuuriki while I was visiting."

"… Pick up a _what_?"

"Never you mind! Now be quiet or I'll cut your tongue out!" Snapped Captor-teme. For once, Sasuke did what he was told. He actually wanted to escape—and he did plan to escape—in one piece. And, maybe, he'd take Naruto too. Although the blond was likely going to get them recaptured. With a nearly silent sigh, Sasuke looked out the cave to the rain. The downpour was getting lighter now…

"Ah, finally!" Captor-teme muttered, noticing the rain as well. He glanced at Sasuke and gave a low chuckle. "Looks like you'll see your Aniki soon."

By the way he said it, Sasuke was sure that it wasn't going to be a very pleasant meeting.

-::-

It was about six in the morning by the time the rain stopped completely. Itachi quickly dried himself off and changed into some new clothes. He strapped on his weapons—more than he usually carried on this mission—and jumped out the window. Without missing a breath, Itachi was running down the castle wall at a breakneck pace. He jumped the last twenty feet and immediately teleported to the very top of an incredibly tall tree.

Itachi held on with chakra, examining his surroundings as the wind blew his ponytail into his face. The sky was dark with storm clouds, but they didn't look like they'd shower the lands quite yet. Glaring at nothing in particular, Itachi waited. He knew Madara. The old man had been his mentor for a long while. Uchiha Madara was going to challenge him.

And just as Itachi knew him, Madara knew Itachi. He'd bring Sasuke with him, to ensure that Itachi would be distracted. While they fought, Itachi would try and make sure none of his attacks would harm his little brother, which would put him at a disadvantage. Madara would not care if his attacks hit or not.

"_Come on, Madara. Where are you?"_ Itachi muttered to himself, waiting for a sign of his enemy. The wind grew fiercer, as if trying to stop him from hearing his opponent's approach. With growing impatience, Itachi began to pace along the branch of the tree he stood on, using chakra to keep from falling. He did this for hours, stopping every few minutes or so to scan his surroundings.

After three hours of pacing, students began to file out to get to their classes. It wasn't long before some of them spotted Itachi in the tree and pointed him out to their friends. After a bit, there was a middle-sized group at the base of his spot, watching him pace impatiently. Included in this group were the Golden Trio and Malfoy the Magnificent. It was amazingly easy to ignore them.

It didn't take long before several teachers had arrived to find out what was going on. Severus Snape, Minerva McGonagall, Poppy Pomfrey, and Albus Dumbledore were the only ones Itachi really recognized in the crowd. He gave a low growl of annoyance. But this growl was bit off halfway. Itachi froze suddenly in his pacing and stood stock-still, staring at a group of trees in the Forbidden Forest. Finally.

Itachi jumped. Several students gasped and some even screamed. But Itachi ignored them in favor of his target walking out of the trees. He landed, going smoothly from a roll to a full out run. Within moments his katana was in his hand, held out slightly at his side as he rushed toward Madara and his victim…s?

Indeed, there was one more captive than there should have been. And Itachi recognized that blond hair, having had guard duty to protect its owner more than once. Why in the world would Madara kidnap Uzumaki Naruto as well as Sasuke? Itachi didn't ask.

"_Madara, you filthy excuse for a shinobi,"_ Itachi yelled in anger, _"I'm going to kill you for this!"_

Madara didn't find Itachi's threat intimidating at all. In fact, he only found this amusing. The old psycho laughed, making his captives shudder. Itachi couldn't blame them. It was a really creepy laugh.

"_You frighten me, little one!" _Madara yelled back, his voice full of humor, _"I tremble in your presence!"_

In response to this, Itachi implied that Madara often did something incredibly inappropriate with his mother. The older shinobi ceased laughing and growled instead. Sasuke and Naruto howled with laughter for a few short moments before getting tossed to the side by their kidnapper. They landed with some soft ouches, as they couldn't break their falls because of their bonds.

It was a split second after they landed that Madara and Itachi were ripping into each other like a couple of starving wolves with fresh kill. Itachi made good use of his razor-sharp katana, creating many new wounds on his mentor before the other man began to use his teleportation techniques. Madara himself was attacking with an ordinary kunai. Itachi earned more wounds than he gave, but he did not stop.

Behind him, students were screaming and Sasuke's yells were getting fainter. Itachi spared a glance to the side and saw Minerva carrying off Sasuke. Naruto was being held by Severus, who was running beside her. His brief side-track earned him a deep gash in his side. Wincing, Itachi jumped back and began some handseals.

"_Kuchiyose no Jutsu!"_ An explosion of smoke and a second later Itachi was standing on top of a Gamabunta-sized dragon.

"_**What do you want?"**_ Surudoiryu roared in annoyance. He peered up at Itachi, attempting to glare at the young shinobi unsuccessfully.

"_What do I usually want?"_ Itachi replied sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

"_**Don't get smart with me, human! I'll-" **_Began Surudoiryu.

"—_Rip __**you **__to __**tiny **__little __**shreds**__ and __**feed **__them __**to **__my __**hatchlings!**__"_ Itachi and Surudoiryu said simultaneously. The latter of the two growled in irritation and grumbled something incomprehensible. Madara watched the exchange patiently with no small amount of amusement. This would prove to be an entertaining battle.

-::-

Sasuke struggled against Minerva's hold, protesting in a mixture of English and his native tongue.

"Minerva-chan! _I can't just _leave _Aniki_ behind to fight that _monstrous guy! What if_ he gets hurt and then_ he dies! Aniki _can't _die_! _He's the last_ one of our family that hasn't _been killed yet!_" Sasuke fought to escape, unsuccessful because of his bonds and Minerva's tight grip. Naruto was too confused to do much of anything. Minerva tried to calm her new charge with soothing words without luck. Any chance of comforting the small child was ruined when a large explosion sounded, shaking the ground and stinging their ears.

"_Aniki!"_ Sasuke cried. _"ANIKI!"_

"_I'm sure he'll be fine, Sasuke-teme."_ Naruto said, attempting to help his rival. _"After all, isn't your brother like a big-shot ANBU captain? Or were you over-exaggerating his skills?"_

Sasuke quieted, looking over at his blond companion. He nodded slightly, torn between wanting to believe him and wanting to go help Itachi.

"_But… He killed my entire clan… I don't know just how good this Madara-kidnapper person is…"_ Sasuke whispered hoarsely, watching the retreating exit as Minerva ushered students into the Great Hall. There was another explosion that shook the ground and a deafening roar. The corners of the young Uchiha's mouth twitched upwards in a ghost of a smile. _"Oh, he's called out Surudoiryu…"_

"_Who?"_ Naruto asked, looking back as Albus Dumbledore closed the doors of the Great Hall behind them.

"_His largest dragon summons. This Madara doesn't stand a chance. Surudoiryu with fry him!"_ Sasuke's attitude had changed dramatically. He went from being franticly worried to somewhat anxious, which made Naruto—and Dumbledore—wonder just how strong this new ally was.

Both Konoha shinobi-in-training waited patiently (well, maybe not _patiently_, but they waited none-the-less) as the teachers removed the ropes binding them. When they were done, Sasuke stood up and rubbed his wrists, looking around the hall. Students were chattering in scared/excited voices, occasionally glancing at him and Naruto. Sasuke gave his quiet thanks to Minerva and grabbed Naruto's arm. He dragged the blond into the throng of students and teachers until he found a familiar group.

"Hi, Hermione-chan, Harry-kun, Ronald-kun." Sasuke greeted quietly, giving Hermione a brief hug. Then he pulled a gaping Naruto over. "Guys, this is Naruto. _Naruto, this is Hermione-chan, Harry-kun, and Ronald-kun."_

"_She's pretty!"_ Naruto exclaimed, making Sasuke smile slightly. His smile was cut off when Hermione gently grabbed his arm and lifted up to examine. He fidgeted and tried to pull away.

"Hey! What are you doing!"

"What happened, Sasuke?" She asked, motioning to the mark left on his arm by the ropes.

"We got captured." Said Sasuke before huffing and looking away.

"How'd you manage that?" Ron asked, sitting down cross-legged on the floor (as the regular tables had been removed and replaced by cushions and various things to do). Sasuke shrugged.

"It just happened. One minute I was going home, the next home was being attacked. After he cut off Kaa-san's… after Kaa-san was killed, he knocked me out. When I woke up, I was tied up and Naruto was next to me." Naruto gave the boy an odd look and Sasuke started translating.

"_I was at home eating ramen when I got caught…"_ The blond said; his words translated into English by Sasuke. The latter of the two noticed that the Golden Trio looked rather pale.

"What's the matter?" He asked them, wincing as another explosion sounded outside.

"Um… Did… Did you see Kaa-san die?" Ron asked. Sasuke blinked in confusion (why was Ron calling Sasuke's Kaa-san his own mother?) before he realized that they didn't know what Kaa-san meant.

"Kaa-san means mother, just so you know. It's weird to hear you call her mother when she isn't… wasn't… yours." Sasuke told him, looking at the ground. "And… yeah… I did… But it's alright! I-I'm a shinobi! I can handle it!"

Harry gave the young boy a pitying look while Sasuke was translating for Naruto. Hermione fidgeted before deciding to change the subject.

"Um… So… Naruto. That's a nice name." She said, unable to think of anything else.

"It means fishcake…"

-::-

Alright, so I'm not sure what to do for Itachi's battle scene, 'cause I can't write them. You'd get lost really fast… Anyway, suggestions would be very nice!


	9. Chapter 9

Itachi Goes To Hogwarts Chapter Nine

-::-

The grounds were pitted with craters and cracks. Foliage crackled with glowing black flames. Blood from the summons pooled here and there. Boulders were overturned. A pool of lava threatened to destroy one of Hogwart's walls. Nearby, the Whomping Willow looked ready to crawl back into its roots. Itachi wasn't sure about whether that last one was just a figment of his oxygen-depraved mind's imagination or not. Knowing this strange world, it probably wasn't.

Madara smiled down at him from behind his mask, oblivious to his scrapes and broken bones. He was too busy wallowing in glory at his fallen victim. His grin widened as the older Uchiha crushed his foot deeply into Itachi's neck, making the ANBU captain's vision go black for a moment. The younger Uchiha swung his kunai blindly into the air.

The blade met flesh with a satisfying squish. Madara jumped back, cursing. Itachi stood on wobbly legs and sucked in some much-needed air, swaying as he wiped blood off his face. He wasn't sure whose it was. Maybe it wasn't blood at all. After all, there was plenty of around mud now.

"Do you want me to wait for you, little brat?" Madara laughed, holding the new wound in his leg. Blood seeped through his fingers. Had he hit anything vital? Unlikely, considering Madara was still standing. Itachi tossed his kunai. Predictably, it went right through his opponent. The two Uchiha glared at one another, their Sharingan spinning madly. Both were breathing heavily. The fight had been going on for the whole of three minutes. To anyone who braved the outdoors now, they would never have guessed how little time it took to destroy the grounds.

"Shut up or I'll shove some roe down your throat." The mere mention of roe—Madara's most hated food—made the other Uchiha angry. He lunged at Itachi and just like that they were at each other again. Itachi's katana was in his hand and Madara's fists empty. They swung and slashed in a beautifully cruel dance. Each movement brought on another injury. Itachi hurt like he never had before.

Madara grabbed Itachi's arm, halting his swing. He twisted roughly. Wincing, Itachi kicked out. His foot met air as Madara dodged. He pulled Itachi to the ground as he did so and shoved his knee into the other's back. His opponent coughed up some blood.

_"Bunshin Daibakuha..."_ Itachi whispered hoarsely. Tossing his arms in front of his mask, Madara threw himself backwards as the clone exploded. The Uchiha's entire front was scorched from the heat of the blast. A katana appeared out of nowhere, gouging an entire chunk out of Madara's arm. Blood poured to the ground. Itachi's mouth curved into a cruel smile.

Madara jumped away. His hands were a blur as they weaved through signs. Ignoring them, Itachi rushed forward. His katana met flesh once more. But Madara didn't seem interested in his new wound. Sharingan spinning, he unleashed his jutsu. It was a familiar one. A _very_ familiar one.

"_Katon: Gōkakyu no Jutsu!"_ Itachi's eyes widened as the ball of flames engulfed him. Madara laughed psychotically. "You'll never defeat me!"

His flames dispersed, leaving no trace of Madara's opponent. Itachi's former teacher frowned. Blood steadily dripped to the ground. Madara looked down at the blade protruding from his stomach, surprised. Itachi gave a low chuckle.

_"__That line is cliché, sensei." _Itachi said from behind him, twisting his blade as he spoke. Madara winced before teleporting several feet away. He kicked the dirt. It hit Itachi in the face, getting in his eyes. Distracted, Itachi was unable to dodge the shuriken thrown at him.

He fell backwards, thrusting his right arm behind him reflexively. Not a smart move. His arm bent awkwardly. The snap of the bone echoed loudly. Itachi gasped in pain. A few feet away, Madara laughed. He began walking towards his opponent, who jumped to his feet. His arm hung limply at his side.

_"__How are you going to fight with a broken arm, Itachi-kun?"_ Madara laughed, holding his newest wound. His attempt to lessen the flow of blood was, for the most part, unsuccessful.

_"__You forget that I'm left handed." _Itachi said, huffing.

After that both shinobi stared at each other in silence as they caught their breath. Hardly five minutes had passed since Madara had walked out of the forest. Five minutes since Sasuke had been taken back inside. Was he safe now? It was hard to believe.

_"__Are we finished yet?"_ Asked Madara, chuckling. Gasping for breath, Itachi used his good hand to flip his mentor the bird. The older Uchiha growled and ran towards him. Itachi kicked out, snapping several ribs. Without pausing he grabbed Madara's arm and yanked it from its socket. Madara cursed, kicking Itachi down again.

_"Not before you're dead! Nobody touches my Otouto and gets away alive!" _Yelled Itachi. He jumped back to his feet and stabbed through Madara. Teleportation again.

_"And you chide me for cliché lines?" _Taunted Madara. But it was Itachi who got the last laugh this time. Madara fully reappeared too soon. Several muscles caught on Itachi's blade, making it harder to pull. Both ninja separated. This battle was getting nowhere fast. Intent on finishing it off now, Itachi sprang forward. Madara mimicked his movement.

With a sickening thud, Itachi's blade met bone. Madara coughed up blood and it dribbled out from under his mask. Itachi stumbled slightly. His opponent's fist was stuck in his abdomen. Teacher and student glared into each other's eyes for several long seconds. They fell in opposite directions, separating painfully.

Itachi watched clouds float by in the sky from his spot on the ground. His wounds throbbed. Shuddering in pain, Itachi forced himself to lift his head and look at his former mentor. Madara had an odd expression on his face. Itachi sat up, ignoring his injuries. Suddenly Madara began to laugh.

"Kukuku…" The older Uchiha pulled himself to his feet, still laughing. He examined Itachi. The young ninja had also risen. He wobbled on the edge of falling. "Kukuku… I think I'll save you for later, Itachi."

He vanished suddenly, his voice echoing through the air.

_"See you later, brat."_

-::-

Itachi stared at the spot Madara had occupied for a full minute before limping towards the school. His broken ribs ached with each step. Every movement jarred his arm, which hung uselessly at his side. Itachi ignored the pain, intent on checking on Sasuke. What if Madara had grabbed him before fleeing? What if he had taken Naruto too? Would the Hokage force him to stay?

A crack underfoot made Itachi pause. He looked down in confusion and took a step back. Laying there on the ground was his mask, which had fallen off sometime during the battle. Slowly, Itachi picked it up and examined it. There were cracks and chips in the porcelain. There was a deep diagonal slash going from one corner to the next. Despite all that, it was fully intact. The chips and slashes didn't go all the way through. There were no holes at all.

With a faint smile, Itachi placed the mask over his face once more and reattached his chakra strings. Then he began his slow limp over to Hogwarts. No one came to see why the noises of battle had stopped. They were probably arguing about it right now. Wizards seemed to like verbal fights. Sure enough, when Itachi reached the front doors, there were several people—all teachers—shouting at each other.

"We should go check on him!" Yelled Minerva McGonagall, startling Itachi. His hand froze before he could knock. Minerva could yell?

"What if we let in that… that… man?" Someone else asked.

"I don't believe he'd be very polite about breaking down the door." Severus Snape said in his normal tone. "Right now we are risking another man's life…"

"Well, he started it, didn't he?" Umbridge huffed annoyingly. "Maybe he should bleed to death."

There was stunned silence for a moment. Itachi could practically feel the other staff members gaping at her.

"Have you gone round the bend?" Pomfrey exclaimed furiously. "That man had Weasel's brother and another boy tied up! Why _wouldn't_ he attack him?"

Deciding he had heard enough, Itachi rapped on the door lightly. Several people stopped arguing in mid-sentence. The handle to the door started to turn.

"Don't open it!" Came a sudden protest. It came in Sasuke's voice. Itachi's mouth curved into a smile.

"Very good, Sasuke-kun." He said proudly. Several people began whispering.

"What in Merlin's name are you thinking?" Minerva exclaimed. Sasuke cleared his throat, hushing Naruto, who was mumbling something incomprehensible.

"Captive-teme-" Started Sasuke.

"Watch your language, Sasuke-kun." Itachi said, rolling his eyes.

"Er… Evil Uchiha-san could be using genjutsu." Sasuke amended. "We need to make sure it's actually Aniki first."

"How in the world could he disguise himself that fast?" Umbridge scoffed. "That is absolutely ridiculous."

"We aren't wizards, Pinky-san." Sasuke said. His voice was closer to the door now. It was silent for several moments.

"Let's get this over with." Minerva sighed finally. "You ask the questions, Sasuke. I dare say you know him better than any of us."

"Yeah… Um… What does Aniki always do that makes... made Kaa-san mad?"

"… What thing exactly are you referring to? There are many things that displease her…" Itachi said, sweatdropping. Sasuke giggled.

"That would be the correct answer. Alright… What do I usually ask you to do and how do you respond to this?"

"You've asked me every day since you decided to become a shinobi if I'd teach you shuriken jutsu… and since I have missions almost every day I usually poke you in the forehead and tell you that I'd teach you later…"

"Yup, it's Aniki!" Sasuke said, pulling open the door himself. He pounced Itachi, ignoring his many injuries. Itachi yelped and fell backwards. He hit his head on a particularly sharp rock and lay still for a moment, dazed.

"_I see… there's no need to ask if you are alright…"_ Itachi mumbled hazily. Sasuke got off him and started checking his wounds, motioning for Naruto to make sure he didn't get back up. His blond friend was only too happy to oblige.

"_It was the only way to make sure you'd stay down while I made sure you weren't going to die."_ The younger Uchiha quipped, glaring at his brother. _"You keep getting hurt lately! Are you getting old or something?"_

"…" Itachi decided not to grace that comment with a response. Dumbledore walked through the doorway, chuckling.

"My dear boys, perhaps it would be best if we had Madam Pomfrey check on him in the Hospital Wing." The old man said, making Sasuke shake his head.

"We won't be able to make him stay." The young Uchiha stated. He motioned Dumbledore closer and mock-whispered to him. "He hates hospitals. Heck, he hates it when Kaa-san says he's too sick to work! He usually sneaks off when she isn't looking."

"That's because our mother worries too much. A cough is not going to kill anyone!"

"Hem, _hem_. Aren't you a little old to be living with your mother?" Both Uchiha looked at her, stunned. Sasuke was the first to recover.

"You mean you don't live with your clans in this place?" He asked, eyes wide. Umbridge had a false tone of sweetness in her voice.

"Whatever do you mean? Clans? There are no clans here!" Sasuke gaped at her and then turned to Itachi.

"N-No clans? Is that possible, Aniki?" The young shinobi-in-training wondered. Itachi nodded solemnly.

"Families in this place separate. As soon as a child is deemed an adult, they move away. Extended families hardly ever live in the same village." Sasuke's eyes grew wider with each word. Quickly he turned to Naruto and relayed the message. Now it was the blonde's turn to gape.

"_You mean they have families but they ignore them?"_ Both boys gave each other grim looks. Then they brought their hands together and clasped pinkies, as children tend to do when making a promise.

"_When we have families, we are not going to do that."_ They promised each other seriously. Itachi smiled from behind his mask and sat up while they were distracted. Minerva grabbed his arm before he could sneak away.

"Oh no you don't, Weasel. Come on, we're going to the hospital wing." Ignoring her young friend's protests, she dragged him off, closely followed by Pomfrey, Dumbledore, Snape, Umbridge, Sasuke, and Naruto. The other staff members went to check on the students. None of the wizards noticed the three beings under a certain cloak following them.

-::-

"When it comes to age, Uchiha Madara has Dumbledore-san beat. He's about two-hundred and forty." Itachi said, wincing as Pomfrey straightened out his broken arm. Throughout the whole process of poking and prodding, he had not made a noise of discomfort. "As you can see, age does not affect ability when it comes to shinobi."

"And do your kind often live this long?" Asked Umbridge, making Sasuke frown at her.

"Our kind?" He mouthed to Itachi, who gave him a silent signal not to say anything about it.

"Not usually. In fact, Madara is the only one I've heard of whose made it past one hundred. He stubbornly refuses to die. _Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, what are you doing?_" Both of the boys in question froze in mid-attack. They straightened and placed their hands behind their backs.

"_N-Nothing!"_ They stuttered, glancing at each other. Itachi was not convinced. He gave them a stern look from behind his mask.

"_You should not fight in the middle of a hospital. Wait until you can go outside. If you both behave and wait until after dinner, I will teach you both something new."_ Both boys were practically bouncing with excitement now.

"_Some new ninjutsu?" _Naruto asked, eyes shining with enthusiasm. Sasuke shook his head in protest.

"_No! Can you show us some shuriken jutsu?"_ He pleaded, clasping his hands together and hopping up and down. Itachi chuckled lightly, happy that Madara had not taken away his brother—in both a metaphorical and literal sense.

"_No jutsu right now."_ His new charges looked crestfallen. They sighed in disappointment and plopped onto the ground. The witches and wizards watched in silence. Dumbledore's usual twinkle shone unusually bright. _"I'm going to teach you how to walk up walls."_

This statement earned Itachi some doubtful looks. He chuckled again.

"_You've seen shinobi walk on water, haven't you?"_ The boys nodded, looking thoughtful. _"This is the first step to doing that."_

"_But why not jutsu?" _Naruto asked with a pout. Being on his side, Sasuke decided to pout as well. The picture they made was hilarious. Itachi wished he had a camera.

"_Don't underestimate this technique. Most genin can't do it for at least a month or two."_ He told them. _"Now behave."_

"_Alright."_ Together, the boys sat down on the ground and began playing a game of rock, paper, scissors. The wizards watched with interest.

"What in Merlin's name was that all about, Weasel?" Minerva asked, watching the once hyperactive children sit patiently. 'Weasel' smiled, reaching down and ruffling Sasuke's hair.

"You'll find that most shinobi children are willing to do anything if it means you will teach them something. Especially these two." He said, ignoring Sasuke's attempts to remove his brother's hand from his hair. After several seconds of unsuccessfulness, he gave up. Trying not to laugh, Itachi removed his hand.

"Hem, _hem_." Hacked Umbridge, smiling sweetly at him. Naruto looked up at her with a look of horror. Shoving his hand into his mouth to keep from laughing, Sasuke dragged his friend to the other side of Itachi's bed where she couldn't see them. Itachi glanced back, noting that they were mimicking the toad-woman quite well.

"Yes, Umbridge-san?" He asked, looking away from the two children, who were now coming up with nicknames for her. How cute was that? Not even through their first year in the Academy and they already knew how to tell a bad egg from a good one!

"What exactly are _you_ planning to teach them? Do you have a teaching license?" Umbridge asked, her smile growing bigger. Itachi raised a delicate brow. What was wrong with this woman?

"Teaching license? That's a European invention. In Konoha we simply show children how to do something and they practice."

"And do the children from your homeland actually listen to what you have to say?" Sneered Snape, glancing over at the two children on the ground. Sasuke looked up at him with wide eyes.

"He's our elder! Why wouldn't we listen?" The boy asked in a completely serious tone. Itachi repressed a smirk. No child would listen to anyone if they didn't want to. And shinobi kids were especially good at escaping so they wouldn't have to. Sasuke just felt like being smart with someone.

"Because you are a child!" Umbridge said in her usual pseudo-sugary voice. Sasuke gave her an odd look. This time he was serious when he answered.

"What's that got to do with anything?" He asked, looking behind him, as Naruto had tapped his shoulder, and translating the conversation to his blond friend. Itachi cleared his throat.

"As interesting as this conversation is, I believe it's about time for dinner." The wizards looked surprised, checking their watches and glancing outside. Pomfrey hurried to finish the last of her healing. Dumbledore clapped his hands together, startling everyone.

"Well then, let us go to the Great Hall." He said, turning around. The witches and wizard began to follow. Itachi stood and stretched with a quiet yawn. He ignored Pomfrey's insistence that he stay in bed and took Sasuke and Naruto's hands.

"_Come on, you two. Time for dinner."_ They hopped up and the three Konoha citizens followed the wizards to the Great Hall, ready for food. Sasuke and Naruto talked nonstop about everything and anything, tugging on his arms to get his attention when it wandered off. Itachi listened patiently, smiling. He led the two shinobi-in-training to the staff table, where some seats had been set up for them. Ignoring their protests, he filled their plates with healthy food, such as vegetables. Naruto huffed.

"_Aw man! And I thought you wouldn't be one of those people, Onii-san!" _He exclaimed, poking one of the veggies with his chopsticks. Itachi smiled at his new nickname.

"_One of what people, Naruto-kun?"_ He asked, fully aware of what the blond was talking about. From beside him, Sasuke smirked, grabbing one of his own vegetables and eating it. Naruto looked horrified.

"_Someone who makes people eat vegetables!" _Exclaimed Naruto, holding out the evidence.

"_But, Naruto-kun, if you don't eat healthy you won't be able to do jutsu!"_ Itachi said, faking surprise. Naruto gaped at him.

"_W-What do you mean?"_ He asked, looking down at his plate in shock. It took a lot of strength not to snicker at the boy's expression.

"_Your chakra coils will deteriorate until you can't do even the simplest of jutsu without healthy food!"_ Said Itachi calmly, filling his own plate with the same things he had given the other two. Naruto watched him with wide eyes. _"Of course, it's up to you whether or not that happens. After all, I'm not going to force you to suck it up and act like a shinobi."_

Itachi took a bite of his food, waiting for his newest charge to respond. The boy was looking at his plate in thought. Sasuke was sitting between his brother and the blond, trying not to laugh. He covered the laugh that did escape with a cough. Finally, Naruto's face took on a determined expression. Taking a deep breath, he began to inhale his food. Itachi and Sasuke watched, caught between fascinated and disturbed. Sasuke turned to his brother in awe.

"_At least when you do that we can't see it."_ He said, turning back to his food. Next to him, Naruto sighed and leaned backwards.

"_That wasn't so bad."_ He said, earning sweatdrops from the two Uchiha next to him. Itachi suppressed a sigh. After tree-walking he would have to teach the boy table manners. Joy.

-::-

"_Alright, these look good."_ Itachi stopped in front of a couple of trees and turned to face his new students. He tried to ignore the group of wizards that had followed them and reached into his side pouch. From it he pulled two kunai and one to each of the shinobi-in-training. They took the blades solemnly, ignoring the gasps of the students. Sasuke glanced behind him. There were teachers as well. Umbridge stared at the weapons in the kids' hands, her face turning an odd shade of red.

"_As I said before, you will be learning how to-"_

"Hem, hem."

"—_climb trees, walls, and any other object using only your feet." _Itachi continued, ignoring Umbridge. _"To do this you will need to concentrate-"_

"Hem, _hem_." Naruto's attention wavered and he glanced back at the pink toad-woman nervously.

"_Pay her no heed, Naruto-kun. You need to concentrate your-"_ He was interrupted again.

"Excuse me, deary."

"….." What did she just call him?

"May I ask _why _you've given those barbaric weapons to _children_?" And did she just insult his choice of weapons as well?

"Indeed you may. _You need to-"_

"Well?" Itachi closed his eyes in irritation. Couldn't she take a hint?

"Well what, Umbridge-san?" His voice showed none of his annoyance. That was a plus.

"Why have you given the children weapons?" She asked; face now a dark shade of purple.

"To make it easier for them to learn this. _As I almost got to say before-"_

"How will giving them weapons help?" Umbridge growled.

"You will see if you stop and wait!" Itachi snapped, glaring at her. Then, calmly as if nothing had happened, he continued, _"Concentrate your chakra into your feet please."_

Both boys closed their eyes in focus. A few seconds later, they had done as he asked.

"_Alright, it will be easier if you run at first. When you feel that you're about to fall, slash the tree with your kunai. Are you ready?"_ Naruto raised his hand with a look of confusion on his face. Itachi nodded at him, waiting.

"_Um… Couldn't you show us first, so we know what it is exactly we're trying to do?"_ He asked timidly. Surprised, Itachi nodded. He turned around and walked up the tree until he was upside-down on a branch, something Kakashi liked to do when showing off to students. Manipulating his chakra was second-nature to him now—he didn't even have to think about it—so he wasn't sure if the demonstration would help. He dropped, making a student screech in alarm, and landed in front of his charges.

"_Is that alright?"_ Sasuke and Naruto nodded, excited. They seemed to have forgotten their earlier disappointment. With a smile, Itachi stepped to the side. _"Ready? Go!"_

At once the two ran at separate trees. About three feet up, Sasuke made a hole in his tree and got caught, hanging upside down. Naruto simply fell and landed on his back with a small 'oof.' Smiling kindly, Itachi walked over to his brother and freed his foot, pulling Naruto up as he did so.

"_Now can you tell me what went wrong?"_ He asked them, still smiling. Sasuke peeked back at the trees. He raised his hand.

"_Naruto put too little chakra into his feet and I put too much?"_

"_Exactly."_ Itachi said, backing up again. _"Let's try this once more."_

Nodding eagerly, both Academy students backed up to their starting point and prepared to run.

"_Ready? G-"_

"Hem, hem." Itachi sighed in annoyance.

"Yes, Umbridge-san?" He asked, noting that she was the only one standing. The rest of the assembled audience had sat down on chairs that Dumbledore had conjured up.

"You still haven't explained what the knives are for."

"As I said earlier, Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun will use the kunai sometime during this session. Please be patient." He turned back to his students. _"Ready… Go!"_

They made it a few feet farther than the last attempt, scratching their places before falling. Both of the boys looked up at their trees. Sasuke reached up and touched his scratch, hanging his head. Naruto looked over at his rival's scratch and then his own, sweatdropping. Sasuke's was defiantly higher by a few inches. He backed up and began running again.

"Hem, hem." Naruto stumbled, hitting his head on the tree before turning around and glaring at Umbridge.

"_Stop that! You're distracting!"_ The blond exclaimed, rubbing his head. He was ignored by the witch.

"Should they really be running around with knives?" Umbridge asked Itachi, who was trying to convince Naruto that he was not allowed to harm the toad-woman.

"They have been training to be shinobi since the day they could walk, Umbridge-san. They know how to prevent any accidents with kunai… It is the first weapon they were taught to use." Itachi said. _"Continue like she isn't here, Naruto-kun."_

"You know, it's still rude to talk in a foreign language." Umbridge said, grinning.

"Then stop talking." Itachi said, stepping away from Naruto as he ran again. Several students stifled giggles.

"But I'm not the one speaking in a foreign tongue."

"It's foreign to us. I can't speak English to Naruto-kun." Itachi sighed, repressing a glare as he looked at the aggravating woman.

"Why not?" And the stupid toad look genuinely bewildered. It took a lot of effort for Itachi not to roll his eyes. Sasuke had no such qualms about doing so.

"He can't speak English." The younger Uchiha said, running at his tree again. Itachi watched with pride as his brother inched his way up the trunk. They were doing well, considering that this technique should have been beyond their level. Umbridge had the gall to ruin the moment.

"Well, why not?" This time Itachi did roll his eyes.

"Because he was not supposed to be brought here. We have yet to announce that new countries have been discovered, much less new languages." He said, watching his charges charged their trees. Every single wizard looked surprised at this news, even Dumbledore.

"Why hasn't it been announced?" Demanded Umbridge. Itachi turned and glared at her, making her flinch.

"Because Hokage-sama has yet to determine whether or not to destroy the path into this world."

-::-

Thanks to Google, the battle scene was not as bad as it could have been. In fact, I rather liked this chapter. Opinions would be wonderful! Thanks for staying with me, despite the distance between updates and all.


	10. Chapter 10

Before I start the next chapter, I just wanted to say **thanks for all the reviews**! Even if I haven't replied to some, I do read every single one of them. You guys are inflating my ego quite a bit! ^-^ Without you I would have given up on this during the first writer's block (which took a few months to get over). So thank you very much! *bows in respect to readers*

Also, who thinks I should cut the first chapter in half? It is a bit long, isn't it?

-::-

The room was as black as pitch. Outside a wind howled, sending pellets of rain hurling into the window. Sasuke curled up tighter into a ball, squeezing his eyes shut. To his left was Naruto, who was sleeping like a drunken dog. Itachi lay on Sasuke's right; both Sasuke and Naruto had crawled out of their own beds and into his, still worried about Madara. The older Uchiha had given a half-hearted protest and had moved to make enough room for his two charges. Although he tried to hide it, Sasuke could tell Itachi was uneasy about their kidnapper as well. Biting his lip as his eyes searched the dark, Sasuke activated his Sharingan. It was easier to see through darkness with it on. He looked at his brother, pleased to be able to see his face without the mask. Although his brother's hair blocked most of it.

"_Why are you still awake, Sasuke-kun?"_ Whispered Itachi, making his little brother jump. Hadn't Itachi been asleep? Sasuke gave a small shrug.

"_I don't want to dream."_ He said quietly, deactivating his Sharingan. Then he scooted closer to his brother, snuggling close. Itachi seemed surprised, but didn't say anything.

"_Would you like me to get you something that will keep the dreams away?"_ Itachi asked softly, sitting up.

"_Is there something like that, Aniki?" _Sasuke asked in awe. This earned him a soft chuckle.

"_There is here."_ Said Itachi, getting up. He padded over to the table in the middle of the room. Amazed, Sasuke noted that his brother didn't have to use his Sharingan to maneuver around in the dark.

"_I don't think that Hokage-sama should get rid of the path here_." He told Itachi quietly. Soft chuckling filled the silence.

"_All because of a little dreamless potion?"_ Asked Itachi softly, walking back to the bed with said potion. Sasuke shook his head before remember that it was dark.

"_No… There're lots of reasons! Like the reason that none of the other countries have found it! It's a new trading place!"_ Itachi chuckled quietly again.

"_A new trading place, huh? That's some very shinobi-like thinking Sasuke-kun."_ He said. Sasuke beamed at the praise. Itachi handed him a small bottle. The glass was cold and Sasuke almost dropped it. Instead he held on tighter and tried to examine the liquid inside it so he could recognize it later. Itachi seemed to know what he was doing. _"I'll show it to you later. Right now you need to sleep."_

The elder Uchiha ruffled Sasuke's hair, making the small boy scowl.

"_Hey! Stop that!" _He whispered, trying to shake Itachi's hand off his head. It never occurred to him that this technique had never worked and probably never would. And, just like always, Itachi's hand stayed planted firmly on his head. Sighing in annoyance, Sasuke pulled the cork off the bottle. As he was about to drink it, someone knocked on the portrait door. Itachi sighed.

"_Not those three again…"_ He muttered quietly, irritated. _"Finish drinking that, Sasuke-kun."_

And then Itachi stood, putting his mask back on, and walked over to the small hall that led to the door and out of sight. Ignoring his brother's instruction, Sasuke put the cork back in the bottle and listened.

"You should be in bed." He heard Itachi whisper quietly. "It is night. This is a time for sleep."

"Not until you forgive us." Harry said stubbornly. Sasuke yawned and stood up. He walked over to the door, rubbing his eyes. The Golden Trio had a lantern with them. Sasuke had to squint to see past it.

"_Aniki, why do they want you to forgive them?"_ He yawned as he looked up at his brother, who sighed and picked him up.

"_We had an argument about them trying to get me fired."_ Responded Itachi, glancing back at the trio. Sasuke stared at him in surprise, then at them.

"_Fired...?"_ He asked, examining the students closely. _"But you could get into a lot of trouble if you got fired…"_

"_They don't know that." _

"Aniki could get suspended for a long time if you got him fired." Sasuke said with a yawn. He looked back at his brother. _"Now they do."_

"_Go back to bed, Sasuke-kun. Drink that potion."_ Itachi said, rolling his eyes and shaking his head in exasperation. He set his brother down. Sasuke gave him a hug and shot the Golden Trio an unintimidating glare before padding off.

-::-

Itachi watched Sasuke walk back into the room. He turned back to the three trouble-makers before him, who had puzzled looks on their faces.

"Get back to bed." He said softly, glancing back to his room, hoping that Naruto hadn't woken up as well. The Golden Trio didn't move. Hermione stepped forward.

"What did he mean about you getting suspended? Like in school?" She asked, glancing back to where Sasuke had disappeared. Itachi sighed and closed his eyes. Don't wizards ever listen?

"I would be out of work for a long while." He said quietly. Maybe they'd leave if he told them? "And without work I cannot earn money. That in turn means we can't buy any food."

The Golden Trio stared at him. Itachi narrowed his eyes. What was with these three? He motioned for them to leave. They didn't move.

"You guys live with your clan, right? Don't they help out or something?" Ron asked, confused. Itachi stared at him in disbelief at his lack of tact.

"They are dead now…" He replied, irked. "Now, if you are done interrogating me about my personal life…"

Itachi trailed off, motioning to the hallway. Reluctantly, Harry led the other two away. They conversed in heated whispers as they walked. Rolling his eyes, Itachi closed the portrait door and walked back to his bed, taking off his mask in the process. Naruto's blue eyes and Sasuke's black ones met his. Itachi repressed the urge to smack himself in the face. This was going to be a long night.

-::-

Itachi was sitting in the back of the Divination classroom with his two charges, quietly answering their many questions about various techniques and giving them secrets to mastering said techniques. He had to keep reminding them to speak softly. Except for a few times, they stayed pretty quiet. Itachi was unsure as to why the Academy teachers always complained about Naruto.

"—_which is why it is best to attack from behind."_ Concluded Itachi, watching the two boys' eyes grow wide. They stared at him in shock.

"_But what if they turn around while you're doing that?"_ Sasuke asked with his eyes wide and hand in the air. Naruto nodded in agreement.

"_Then you duck."_ Smiling, Itachi shifted into a more comfortable position. His charges looked at each other. Then they grinned.

"_Can we leave this room and practice in the hall?"_ They asked quietly at the same time, eyes shining. Itachi shook his head.

"_We only have a few minutes left. There is a break after this, so you can practice then."_

"_But what about the tree climbing?"_ Sasuke asked with a pout. Itachi's resolve wavered at the look on his Otouto's face. Rolling his eyes in exasperation, Itachi nodded.

"… _Fine."_ Smiling, Itachi watched as they dashed through the trap door at high speeds. He stood slowly and followed them. He watched as they mock-battled with each other; taking turns being the victim. Both had very dramatic deaths. Itachi struggled not to laugh.

He was lucky he wasn't teaching students that acted like the wizards—he would have accomplished nothing very fast. He leaned against the wall and observed, occasionally correcting postures and movements. All in all, the two shinobi-in-training did very well. However, the particular move they were practicing would be practically useless when it came to opponents taller than they. Unless the boys jumped on them.

Sitting up, Itachi walked over to his students just as the bell rang. They ran up to him and began chatting a high speeds. Smiling, Itachi motioned for them to walk with him. And they did, still blabbing on about how much more fun this training was compared to the Academy.

-::-

The two shinobi-in-training had attracted quite a crowd with their tree climbing, Itachi noted. A crowd that clapped and cheered every time the two boys made it higher onto the tree, as if this were some sort of competition. To the wizards, it probably was. After all, it did seem like the boys were having a race.

After several minutes of charging the tree, Sasuke made it to the halfway point. This earned some more cheers. He slashed his tree and jumped backwards, landing on his feet, and gave Itachi a weary look.

"_Why do they keep doing that, Aniki?"_ He asked, glancing backwards at the crowd. Itachi shrugged helplessly.

"_I can't say exactly. Is it distracting you?"_ Sasuke shook his head as Naruto landed beside him. The two exchanged firm looks.

"_Distraction helps us ignore things better, like you with toad-lady. No… I was just wondering."_ Replied Sasuke. His blond friend nodded in agreement. Itachi smiled at them.

"_Like me with toad-lady?"_ He teased, drawing grins from the boys. They nodded and charged their trees again. Itachi's smile didn't disappear, even when the Golden Trio walked up to him.

"Why are they running up trees anyway?" Asked Ron. Itachi didn't look at him.

"They are training." He replied, watching as the two boys fell again. His smile stayed on his face. "This exercise should have been harder to accomplish. These two are determined."

Itachi's voice was filled with pride. There was silence as the group watched Sasuke and Naruto run.

"What are they learning?" Hermione asked, watching Sasuke excitedly. The young Uchiha didn't notice.

"How to control their chakra so they can walk up walls. After this I will teach them how to walk on water." This earned him some disbelieving stares. Finally he looked away from his charges. "What?"

"Walk… on water?" Harry asked doubtfully, giving him an odd look. Itachi returned it with a look of his own.

"Among other things." He replied before turning to watch his charges. They were taking a short break on a couple of branches. Sasuke waved at him enthusiastically. Smiling, Itachi gave him a small half-wave back. Encouraged, his little brother decided that break time was over and began running again. Not wanting to fall behind, Naruto joined in as well. Both boys' faces were scrunched up in determined concentration. With another smile, Itachi whispered to himself, _"These two will make it far."_

-::-

The shinobis' room was warm thanks to the roaring fire. It brought heat and a warm glow to the space surrounding Itachi and his charges. Listening to the crackling flames, Sasuke and Naruto attempted meditate. Attempted was the key word in that sentence. Occasionally they'd try and peek over at the scroll Itachi was using. He was painting a Thestral—as he had learned the strange, carriage-pulling creatures were called—onto the empty scroll. It didn't take long for the two shinobi-in-training to give up seeing his work. Itachi suppressed a chuckle as he added another line.

The friendly mood was ruined when someone knocked on his door for the third (or was it the fourth? Itachi couldn't remember) night in a row. With a sigh, Itachi placed his mask over his face and glanced at his charges. They were each giving him an expectant look. Shaking his head in exasperation, Itachi motioned for them to do what they liked. Both boys dashed to the door in excitement. With another shake of his head, Itachi continued his painting.

"—and then we started meditating!" Sasuke was telling Hermione, dragging her in by the hand. "But it's _hard_!"

The bushy-haired girl listened patiently and allowed herself to be led along. Behind her, Harry and Ron were trying not to laugh. Naruto chatted away with the group, despite the fact that they couldn't understand him. The Golden Trio wavered when they came out of the small entrance hall. Itachi motioned them in with a defeated sigh.

Sasuke grinned at him, leading the group to the small table where his brother sat. The Gryffindors arranged themselves awkwardly onto the cushions. Naruto and Sasuke plopped themselves down, still chattering away. Harry looked down at the table and gaped, startled.

"You can paint?" He exclaimed, making Itachi look up. The Uchiha blinked at him, confused.

"Anyone can paint, Potter-san." He said, dipping his brush into his ink again. Ron and Hermione examined his picture.

"Not everyone can paint this well, Weasel." Said Hermione. Itachi dipped his head in thanks. But he became somewhat puzzled when she continued on. "What is it?"

"If you cannot tell what it is I'm painting, then how is it good?" Sweatdropping, Itachi reevaluated his painting, tilting his head to the side. It didn't look _that_ bad… did it?

"T-that's not what I meant!" Hermione stuttered, going red in the face. Sasuke was trying not to laugh… he was failing miserably.

"It's one of the things pulling the carriages." Said Harry, turning his head to get a better look at the picture. "And… it's actually really good."

"They are called Thestrals." Said Itachi, moving the scroll over so his charges could get a better look at it. "I thought Sasuke-kun and Naruto-kun might find them interesting. _Would you want to meet one? I've seen them flying above the forest."_

His students looked at him with admiration.

"_Of course!"_ They said at the same time. Then Naruto went on to say, _"This place has so many cool things!"_

Itachi smiled. His charges had the most adorable expressions on their faces.

-::-

Alright, constructive criticism would be much appreciated! ^-^


	11. REWRITTING, Author's Note

**REWRITTING!**

Ahem. I'm pretty sure you all realize that my updates have become infrequent and rather poor. This is due to the horrific enemy of writer-kind call "writer's block." In order to defeat this evil foe, I tried to stir up my imagination by rereading what I had already written. Writer's block is now not my only foe. -_-' I really don't like all the mistakes- both mine and fanfiction's bloody formatting- and have decided that, in order to present to you my highest quality of work, I need to do a rewrite. I am NOT quitting or anything. The story will definatly stay online for all you wonderful people. However, it will undergo surgery in the background.

I would very much love it if my awesome readers would throw out a couple of suggestions or things you would rather me not change. In order to make this story interesting for everyone, I need to know what everyone likes. So please, please tell me what you think should change! Or stay. Either or. I'll try to get this going as soon as I possibly can!

**Recap**; _Not_ discontinuing, just _rewritting_. Suggestions helpful.

Thank you all so very much!


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